Neck and neck

The funniest thing about Ron Higgins’ latest Golden Handcuffs piece is that he had to change the title at the last minute because of the four arrests of Auburn players for marijuana possession Saturday night.  How do I know?  Check the title of the linked article and compare it to the article’s URL.

This race has the potential to be a real barn burner.  Heh.

10 Comments

Filed under Crime and Punishment, SEC Football

10 responses to “Neck and neck

  1. James Stephenson

    Even worse he has this sentence: “Tennessee and Auburn have had one arrest each.”

  2. old dog

    It must have something to do with the color orange…hilarious…if pot isn’t legalized, this whole thing is gonna get worse…oh how I long for the good old days when alcohol was the drug of choice…😉

  3. birddawg91

    Barners get extra credit for arrest.

  4. Debby Balcer

    So is the golden handcuff award different than the Fulmer Cup?

    • Steve

      Debby, the Golden Handcuffs award is the retail equivalent of Chinese plastic in Walmart. Only numbers. Quantity not quality of the ‘accusation’. Whereas, the Fulmer cup is a much more meaningful and prestigious award that recognizes the true degenerate quality of the infraction and has an additional element of more points per crime per perp.
      So simple possession of weed is a single point in the Fulmer cup competition but possession of nose candy or smack is 3 points. But the GH is still only one point per athlete. The UT soldiers arrested for their egregious sexual behavior only provide 1 point in the Golden Handcuffs division but 3-4 in the Fulmer cup (there were additional charges).
      There is also a move to award a Forrest Gump trophy for the most obviously stupid action or excuse attached to a crime….see Isaiah Crowell’s reputed answer when asked about the street shooter hidden under his car seat…’Ahhhhh… (pause),,,,It ain’t mine, dude’ Or Damon Evans response to the cop who asked what was in his lap…’her red underwear, officer’…(just call it a Kleenex, napkin or pocket cloth, Damon). IMO the Fulmer cup is the Oscar of all awards and is named after the ex-coach of a perennially dirty, liquid, shoulder-stooping, dog shit school, UTK. Auburn is it’s own separate medium and to even type those letters in that order makes my finger-tips greasy and red. Hope this helps.

  5. WarD Eagle

    Impressive display of dumbassery. Four guys with playing time. I was expecting the Clemson game to be a loss, this sort of stuff helps guarantee it.

    On the bright side, at least it wasn’t a home invasion.

  6. Bulldog Joe

    Georgia will again ‘win’ the SEC suspension and dismissal race.

    Easiest bet in college sports.