Meanwhile, as the sphincter tightens

Evidently, Booch has time for this shit.

Butch Jones said Monday that the sky is not falling on Knoxville, and he’s keeping track of people saying it.

Sure, the Vols are 3-0, but they’ve struggled at times in all three wins. Statistically speaking, they’re No. 69 in scoring, No. 73 in yards per rush, No. 84 in sacks allowed per game and No. 71 on third down offense. They’ve also been hit with injuries to several top defensive players.

But Jones says there’s been overreaction, and he’s noting it in a journal.

“Each week, there’s something that is the major issue, it’s a catastrophe, it’s blown out of proportion,” Jones said. “I’m charting week to week what we blow up in the media, the main issues. At the end of the year, I’m going to go back and relive those. We spend so much time creating things that really aren’t there. We make them real when they’re not real…”

You’ve got a football program to run, a division to win, recruits to chase and you’re keeping a record of journalists who piss you off?  That’s some serious multi-tasking, dude.

I just hope he calls a presser in the offseason to share his reliving with the rest of the world.

39 Comments

Filed under Because Nothing Sucks Like A Big Orange

39 responses to “Meanwhile, as the sphincter tightens

  1. Dolly Llama

    Booch isn’t exactly acting from a position of strength here. You have to admire his confidence.

  2. Ronnie

    WOW, 37F meets Richard Nixon.

  3. Spike

    Corch is nodding with approval.

  4. Barrett Sallee’s chart on Twitter was pretty spot-on:

    Week 1 – Offensive Line
    Week 2 – Offensive Line
    Week 3 – Offensive Line

  5. baitstand

    Congrats. You just became an entry in his journal.

  6. SemperFIDawg

    If his season goes to pot it’s nice to know that at least someone is documenting it. That kind of stuff is invaluable when you’re trying to terminate someone’s contract.

  7. Bright Idea

    Kirby doesn’t have to chart. He’s pissing off ALL of the media.

    • PTC DAWG

      I like the way he handles the dumbass questions myself.

      • Dylan Dreyer's Booty

        Me, too. I am not anti-journalist, but there is a difference between asking an important question, and asking obvious click-bait questions. I do not think Kirby has been rude in the little bit that I have seen, but you have to point out why the question is stupid. If you don’t do that, you just have to set the coke bottle on the lectern.

      • W Cobb Dawg

        Goodness help us if chimp towers wasn’t at last week’s presser to record how loud the locker room one floor below was. That was some fine journalizin right there, I’m tellin ya.

        • DawgPhan

          those sorts of things just seem like examples of how kirby doesnt have quite the tight control on things that he would like and I appreciate the color it adds.

          Considering it was coming off a real attention getter of a game, seemed like a good observation to me.

          • Mike Cooley

            Meh. That’s the the narrative Towers wanted to spin. Kirby doesn’t have the players’ attention because they were loud in the locker room after practice and just barely beat Nichols. That’s stupid but that where he was leading the reader.

            • DawgPhan

              I dont think you have to lead the reader too much to get them to think that kirby doesnt have as tight of control as he would like with this team.

              It clearly shows when they show the games on TV.

            • stoopnagle

              Well, when Kirby’s commenting on it at the presser, it sort of deserves noting. If I recall, the story concludes with loud words followed by quiet. That could mean a lot of stuff, but YMMV.

  8. PTC DAWG

    Brick by brick.

  9. Bulldog Joe

    You just made the list, buddy.

  10. Mike Cooley

    Butch Millhouse Nixon. Richard M. Jones.

  11. AusDawg85

    Title of the Journal? “NOWHERE”

  12. paul

    Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives.

  13. Hogbody Spradlin

    So? Our crisis is always better than Tennessee’s crisis.

  14. Argondawg

    And then this afternoon he should tweet “Anyone who know or hears anything about us and recruiting violations should contact our compliance department.”

    Dumbass

  15. There really were people out to get Nixon…Booch is just paranoid. Does Booch mix the kool-aid in Knoxville?

  16. Uglydawg

    We should be safe unless Bootch knows someone in the IRS.

  17. @gatriguy

    It’s impossible to oversell how much of a clown I think Butch is. He’s Jim donnan with a buzz cut. That’s it.

  18. W Cobb Dawg

    Reporter: “And most recently of all, a ut football game was held from which we have received more than two dozen reports of individual acts of perversion SO profound and disgusting that decorum prohibits listing them here.”
    Jones: “We’ve heard enough.”
    Reporter: “I was told I would have a chance to speak.”
    Jones: “I SAID THAT’S IT! ARE YOU DEAF? Let’s finish this damn thing.”
    Entire press marches out of room.
    Jones: “You’re not walking out of this one mister! You’re finished! You’ve bought it this time, buster! I will call your national office! I will revoke your charter! And if you wise guys try one more thing, I am kicking you out of this college! No more fun of any kind!”

  19. Biggus Rickus

    He’ll have plenty of time to go over it in detail after he’s fired.

  20. stoopnagle

    Is this a sign of puckering?

  21. Mike

    Hopefully the Mighty Gators can pull off #12 this weekend

  22. lakedawg

    Shaping up tone Ole Miss and gaturs as remaining competition. Think itch and Gus are chopped liver.

  23. I think we’ve figured out what he’s doing in the 4th quarter of games when his team is choking away leads.

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