He did NOT have sexual relations with that shark.

Seeing this…

… I can’t help but be reminded of this.

… there’s the (possibly true!) story about LBJ spreading a rumor that his opponent was a pig-fucker. Aide: “Lyndon, you know he doesn’t do that!” Johnson: “I know. I just want to make him deny it.”

That probably takes the edge off SEC Media Days (poor Clay Travis!), but the next time ESPN Gameday appears at a Florida game, the signage possibilities are delicious.

Advertisements

25 Comments

Filed under Gators, Gators..., Social Media Is The Devil's Playground

25 responses to “He did NOT have sexual relations with that shark.

  1. “People have got to know whether or not their coach is a shark fucker. Well, I am not a shark fucker.”

    C’mon Mac, the cover up is worse than the crime.

    Like

  2. Chris A

    Did the shark give consent? Will we ever know the whole truth? LOL.

    Like

  3. The Quincy Carter of Accountants

    Jim’s friends just asked him to demonstrate how he felt about House of Cards after Frank and Claire had the threesome with the secret service agent….um Jim, I think you have been pronouncing that wrong.

    Like

  4. Herschel Talker

    That depends on what your definition of “is” is

    Like

    • Down island way

      Should he have the cojones to get in front of a tv camera with hillary at his dorsal fin, look 60 minutes in the eye [during shark week] and say ” i did not have sex….. with THAT shark”. Maybe i’ll give him a pass. NOT!!!!!!

      Like

  5. Otto

    Sounds like someone is jumping the shark…

    Like

  6. DA_MAN

    A farmer asked a friend to recommend an attorney to defend him against a charge of bestiality. “I know a great trial lawyer,” the fellow said, “but he’s expensive and doesn’t know how to pick a jury. I know another lawyer,” he continued, “who’s not a great trial lawyer, but he’s cheap and really knows how to pick a jury.”

    The farmer settled on the cheap attorney, but immediately had second thoughts when the key witness, a neighbor, began his testimony. “I saw Jed mount his goat from behind,” he said, “and when he was finished, I saw the goat turn around and lick Jed’s pecker.”

    The accused farmer was devastated and had all but given up hope of acquittal when a juror in overalls whispered to the fellow next to him, “You know, a good goat will do that.”

    Like

  7. ApalachDawg

    The Ole Miss Black Bear Rebels Land Shark D better be very weary of any sideline – pile up type tackles near the Florida sideline.
    Jim Bob may go all Abu Grabe on them…

    Like

  8. sniffer

    Did he “strenuously object”?

    Liked by 1 person

  9. W Cobb Dawg

    McElwain actually has an air tight alibi. I happen to know he was with the EPA director clubbing baby seals at the time of the sharking…

    Like

    • W Cobb Dawg

      And I want to go on record as officially nominating the term “sharking” and the accompanying photo for the lexicon.

      Like

    • Got Cowdog

      Lexicon possibility perhaps?
      Sharking (v): Participating in a plausibly deniable inappropriate relationship with another type/species or “Real Estate Consultant”

      Like

      • W Cobb Dawg

        I’m inclined to simply post the photo next to the term “Sharking”. The phrase “A picture is worth a thousand words” has never been more apt.

        Like

  10. He sure does appear to have been in the sun lately….

    Like

  11. He’s a Shark Warming Denier.

    Like

  12. Dawgy1

    Is there any evidence of Seaman on that shark?

    Like

  13. Comin' Down The Track

    Like

  14. Dylan Dreyer's Booty

    Who does Florida open against? Can their band march in shark formation playing the theme from Jaws? Could be a fun season.

    Like

    • Macallanlover

      Well, they do play Michigan in the first game; you know that Prick Harbrough isn’t above having his band take a shot at Old Yeller. It is a shame they aren’t opening with Stanford, whose band would need no direction from the football coach.

      Like