A Cocktail Party by any other name

“But as far as what they call it, it’s the Georgia-Florida game to me.”

Don’t worry about it, fellas.  We got this one.

“Screw Florida and the mule they came in on.”

Jeez, if this doesn’t get you jacked up for Saturday, you dead, mane.

(h/t The Dawgbone)

Today, in names

Arkansas has a commit from someone named Bumper Pool.  Why wasn’t I told about this before now?

Quitters never quit.

They just look for easier gigs.

While talking to reporters at Duke, Spurrier shared some insight into what could draw him back to the sidelines.

“I don’t want to be a head coach. There’s too much involved in being a head coach. But if a high school, or a junior high…well, I guess they don’t have junior high’s any more, but just a high school somewhere to coach quarterbacks and pitch the ball around. That might be something that I might want to do again.”

“But it would have to be the right situation,” he shared.

Which is?

“Major college ball, these guys work 11 months out of the year. It is so different than it was back in the 90’s, and even into the 2000’s as far as the total number of hours go. I wouldn’t look forward to that.”

“the only part that I miss is the quarterbacks, the offense, the team, the players, and that kind of stuff,” Spurrier explained.

In other words, he misses everything except working hard… and accountability.  Nice work, if you can get it.

I wonder if he’ll be in Jacksonville Saturday.  If so, how much fun would it be to see Georgia hang half a hundred with him in attendance?  Assuming he doesn’t quit and leave early, that is…

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Today, in just sayin’

I’m just putting this one out there for your general consumption.  Bill Connelly looks at Missouri’s remaining schedule and has this to say about the upcoming Florida game:

The Florida game has become a virtual tossup with the Gators’ recent struggles (and with Missouri rebounding in the rankings following Saturday’s solid performance (even when adjusting for opponent).

“Virtual tossup” means less than a two-point spread.  With a team that Georgia beat by 25.

Interesting perspective, to say the least.

“It was one of my better games.”

I will always have a particular soft spot in my jaded heart for the ’85 Cocktail Party game.  Florida rolled in ranked number one in the polls for the first time in program history and proceeded to get rolled out by the Dawgs to the tune of 24-3.  It was glorious.

Georgia’s running game was virtually unstoppable.  Florida countered with Kerwin Bell’s 408 passing yards.  The reason those yards were the football equivalent of empty calories was in large part due to the efforts of one Greg “Muddy” Waters, who had a modest day:  13 tackles, one sack and two pass breakups.  Waters was in the Florida backfield so much he might as well have huddled with them.

It turns out there’s a capper to the story I wasn’t aware of until I saw this story.  Florida’s offense had a tell.

Although the Gators’ offense was talented, led by quarterback Kerwin Bell and running back Neal Anderson, it had a crucial tell that could be detected.

And exploited.

“We noticed that when they passed, their [offensive] line would tilt back in their stance,” Waters said. “That would kind of tip off the passing game.”

Stupid Gators.

Florida mid-term report card

This Robbie Andreu piece is a pretty good summary of Florida’s first half performance, if you’re interested.

When there were four

The flip side to getting hot flashes about Notre Dame in the CFP is what the SEC’s chances of getting two teams in the semifinals are.  Brace yourself for that narrative.

The playoff committee has made it clear that conference championships are a major consideration in the selection process, as they should be. There might come a season when that priority has to be put aside to ensure the two best teams have a shot at the national title, but that should be a truly exceptional circumstance.

This isn’t it.

Not yet, anyway.

It’s too early to give a definite prediction about Alabama and Georgia’s chances (hell, al.com actually says “It probably would be best for Alabama to go unbeaten and win the SEC, so that the Crimson Tide’s less-than-impressive resume doesn’t come into question.”), but I’ll bet good money right now that if it were to come to pass, this would be as inevitable as the sun rising in the east the next day.

With the initial CFP rankings set to be released next week, there’s a good chance Alabama and Georgia will be in the foursome.

That’s OK for now.

If it’s that way come December, it will be time to discuss something new.

“This conversation,” Miles said, “is the exact reason why at some point in time they’re going to view the playoff system and say they need to add two teams or add four teams. You always want to make sure you include the best teams.”

Or make sure that all the P5 conferences get a crack at that TV money.  Here’s hoping somebody gets Bill Hancock on the record at some point.  His denial will be a guarantee.

Denial is a river in Knoxville.

Boy, oh, boy.

Tennessee ranks 126th of 129 teams in the country in total offense, has not scored an offensive touchdown in more than a month and is 122nd nationally in red-zone offense. And those are just a few ways to calculate the group’s ineptitude through seven games.

Despite it all, hope floats that the Vols (3-4, 0-4) are on the cusp of figuring out how to score touchdowns. They at least remember how that it is done.

“The football has to cross the goal line in order to do that,” Scott told reporters.

That’s some sweet, sweet sarcasm there.  And there’s only one way to combat that.  Fantasy.

Guarantano and senior tight end Ethan Wolf spoke with respect of the Wildcats’ defense Tuesday, but Wolf agreed with Guarantano’s assessment that the Tennessee offense could “explode” soon.

“I see evidence of that in games,” Wolf said.

The biggest thing, he said, is for the offense to dial in on communication.

“We have the talent and the resources to be a very, very elite offense,” Wolf said.

Doesn’t the bomb get destroyed in the explosion along with everything else?

Mickey haz a green woody.

Behold the wonder of ESPN’s college football page this morning, where the WWL has not one (“Notre Dame, the team everyone loves to hate, can disrupt the CFP“), not two (“Finebaum jumps on Notre Dame bandwagon“) but three effing pieces on the Irish and their college football playoff chances.

I think I’m gonna fwow up.  Could you be any less subtle if you tried?

I left South Bend with nothing but good vibes about Notre Dame and their fans.  ESPN is doing a bang up job of messing with that.  Thanks, assholes.