Now this is funny.
Larry Culpepper, the former concession vendor and self-proclaimed inventor of the College Football Playoff, is getting a second chance courtesy of Nick Saban.
Typically reserved for coaching staff, Saban’s wildly successful coaching rehabilitation program is making an exception for the recently unemployed Culpepper. According to sources close to the program, Culpepper will serve as the Crimson Tide’s assistant hydration consultant and share a room with intern analyst Butch Jones.
Treatment coordinator Lauren Harris said Culpepper will undergo a standard orientation program before he is allowed onto the field or contact with any of the players. He is also required to assist Butch Jones with his daily routine of washing and waxing Nick Saban’s vehicle.
“First and foremost, Larry will not be allowed to serve Dr. Pepper or any other beverage that isn’t water or Gatorade to our students and staff. That’s actually not a new rule. We had to put that in place when Kiffin was here,” explained Harris. “Larry will also be required to take a vow of silence because he is incredibly annoying.”
See the difference, fans of “dilly, dilly”?
Only thing missing is a Coke bottle crack, but I digress, probably.