Vanderbilt is upset the rest of the world won’t let it keep clipping coupons on a beach somewhere.
“Vanderbilt University is incredibly proud of the on-field and off-field accomplishments of our student athletes, and the coaches and staff who support them. Over the last 10 years, they have won four national championships, 14 conference championships and nine Coach of the Year awards. Our football team has played in five bowl games after a 26-year drought. Last year’s graduating seniors finished their Vanderbilt careers with more than 1,600 total wins, two national championships, eight Conference Championships, 31 postseason appearances, and included 17 All-Americans and 45 all-conference recipients. Academically, our student athletes have earned over a cumulative 3.0 [grade point average] every year for the past 13 years,” the statement read. “All of this achievement is supported by a loyal and dedicated fan base that is critical to our overall success. We will continue to invest in our student athletes and as we contemplate a capital campaign for the university, athletics will be a significant part and will include efforts to raise funds for improvements to athletics programs and facilities, including the football stadium.”
Hint: when they say “We will continue to invest in our student athletes”, they won’t. If you read the fine print carefully, the school’s commitment level is the equivalent of thoughts and prayers — an effort will be made to raise funds, but no mention is made of what actual improvements are contemplated.
That’s how the beach clippers do it, dears.