The redemption tour starts NOW.

Corch, trying to convince humanity he possesses a conscience:

Next step will be training himself to shed a tear on command.


UPDATE:  TFW someone asks you to apologize, but your heart’s not in it…

That dog’s not gonna hunt, Corch.


Filed under Urban Meyer Points and Stares

31 responses to “The redemption tour starts NOW.

  1. gastr1

    I look forward to a recurring stream of non-apologies for non-apologies from this man.


    • From this point, all he’s going to say is the team deserves the talk to be about them and the work they have put in to prepare for the season rather than about me. Next question.

      The Suckeye media will go along hook, line and sinker.


  2. gastr1

    Also, here’s what you should have said on Wednesday, Corch: I sincerely apologize to Courtney Smith and will resign my position as coach of tOSU because I have failed to live up to my responsibilities as employee, mentor, coach, father, and husband.


    Liked by 2 people

    • HirsuteDawg

      Empathy and ethics are hard to fake – CUM has been coached up for the last statement but in these areas he is just absolutely clueless and tone deaf.


      • 92 grad

        Damn, there’s a lot of corporate speak easy packed in there. Too many “these words work better” for my taste.


  3. Aladawg

    I guess is the oh sh*t statement now that even many suckeye fans expressed outrage. Now the board of trustees needs to apologize for not firing his ass for cause.


  4. Big Ten media day: Urban Meyer lies
    Statement upon original suspension: Urban Meyer lies
    Interview by OSU investigators: Urban Meyer lies
    Press conference upon final suspension: Sullen and insincere Urban Meyer lies
    Today’s text: Sincere, truthful, and contrite Urban Meyer!!!

    Yeah, right.


  5. Hogbody Spradlin

    I am deeply touched. He’s a whole new Corch.


  6. Tronan

    Uh, so I hear you didn’t like what I said a couple of days ago. Well, I don’t know why, but whatever. This whole thing has been really hard on ME, too. I mean, jeez. Anyway, I’ve had my publicist throw some words together. Are you happy now?

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Raleighwood Dawg

    It appears that Corch doesn’t subscribe to the saying: you only get one chance to make a first impression. Even so, I truly hope he’s successfully dug his own proverbial grave.


  8. This is nothing more than a pathetic attempt at damage control.


  9. Under distress, your first reaction is your true self, not after several hours.


  10. Granthams replacement

    It seems Urban and McGarity have the same PR adviser.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. BMan

    Corch is all heart. Granted, it’s someone else’s heart that he stole from a transplant patient awaiting lifesaving surgery, but he’s all heart nonetheless.


  12. DavetheDawg

    Maybe late next Friday, Meyer will issue a Twitter apology to Shane Matthews and actually pay for his seat, 37 F…

    Liked by 1 person

  13. atlasshrugged55

    I’m sure his attorney told a grad assistant what to put out there. Urban didn’t have anything to do w/ it & will be mad when he realizes what they’ve done. And he’ll never forget or forgive.


  14. Smoky Joe Would

    As the late great Lewis Grizzard once said “The public, more often than not, will forgive mistakes, but it will not forgive trying to wriggle and weasel out of one.”


  15. Doug

    Even diehard tOSU fans don’t believe this mfer has any capacity for empathy. They just know he can win ballgames.


  16. dawgfan

    Come on McMurphy! Hit this arrogant POS again!


  17. This is what I thought of as soon as I read that too little, too late “apology.”

    Come on, Hurricane Brett, you aren’t going to go away this easily.


  18. Will Trane

    Doubling down when you should let it pass.
    They made their investigation. They have moved on.
    But for some reason it is a sore spot with Dawg faithful.
    Why. Because when the “corch” was at UF the Gators beat the hell out of us too many times. His fault? No. It was ours. Even the Old Ball Coach is hated. Why?
    Five star award to Chip Towers for doubling down. Careful Chip you are about to lose all credibility. Who knew that Chip was well versed not only in football coaching and that science / art, but now he has ventured into the medical field.
    This is where dishonesty comes in. He knows some one [in the medical field in all places “Alabama”] who clued him in on ACLs, braces, and leg injuries.
    Is his story a plunge into redemption, or, let’s go to the darkside re like OSU / Meyer…yeah, Chip is going to question why the medical staff even had Smith in a knee brace.
    Keep walking the blank Chip, the waters get deeper, you can not keep your balance, and you go over board.
    Let it go Dawg Nation, the season is starting, thank goodness.


  19. Cojones

    Even Finebaum said he should have been fired earlier and that his insensitivity stood out with the second apology. He, like us, stated that Corch has a history that should have been attached firmly to his persona before he went to tOSU. And Finebaum appeared to be passionate and sincere with his statement.


  20. Doug

    If I’m reading your update correctly, Urb’s latest statement basically says “I am sincerely sorry for not being more empathetic with respect to the abuse I’m still not convinced you experienced.”

    This guy is a walking Uncanny Valley.


  21. stoopnagle

    As we’ve sadly learned over the last couple of years: old dogs don’t pivot.


  22. PTC DAWG

    With a civil suit coming, he can’t possibly apologize.