Daily Archives: May 8, 2019

Best consolation prize ever

Rejoice, South Carolina.  Maybe your quarterbacks aren’t going to join the Heisman conversation any time soon, but at least your “quarterback succession plan” is one of the best in the country.

Of course there’s that Mike Tyson line about plans and getting hit in the mouth, but we’ll leave that for another day, Columbia.

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Filed under 'Cock Envy

If Mark Bradley didn’t exist, Greg McGarity would have to invent him.

There is so much fellating in this puff piece about Greg McGarity, Savior of Georgia’s Schedule, that Bradley’s jaw still has to be sore.

What’s especially amusing is that Bradley credits McGarity with the sudden upgrade in opponents on future schedules (“an AD can make a schedule”) without bothering to explain why the change in heart from the way the same AD was scheduling the past eight years.  (HINT:  There isn’t one.)

And, for that matter, it’s funny how Bradley’s claim that “Georgia’s home schedule is largely a function of its fans’ insistence on keeping the Florida game in Jacksonville” as an excuse for those previous “tepid” schedules inexplicably no longer seems to burden our intrepid hero.  I mean, last time I checked, we fans remain as selfishly insistent about going to Jacksonville as ever.  (Not to mention Greg still likes cashing those big checks the city sends him every year.)

But why let logic get in the way of a good slurping?  I mean, “… but if McGarity retires tomorrow (guessing he won’t), he has set his legacy” is borderline fanfic.

Maybe one day, if you’re lucky enough, somebody will look at you the way Bradley looks at McGarity.

27 Comments

Filed under Georgia Football, Media Punditry/Foibles

Now, THIS is how you troll Georgia.

DawgNation grasshoppers, pay attention to Mike Bianchi.  He’s the master.

The fact is I’ve always thought Georgia was the most overrated program in college football and I still do. And the Gator-concocted 14K Day drives that point home even further.

I’ve written it before and I will reiterate it here:

Georgia fans have way too high of an opinion of their program. The Bulldogs have won one national title in the modern era and that came nearly 40 years ago in 1980. And the only reason it happened then is because of two lightning-in-a-bottle twists of fate: The Bulldogs were fortunate enough to sign arguably the greatest player in college football history (see Herschel Walker) and they were lucky enough to take advantage of one of the biggest fluke plays in college football history (see Lindsay Scott’s catch-and-run against Florida during the national-championship season).

I once wrote that without Herschel Walker and Lindsay Scott, Georgia would be closer in history and tradition to South Carolina than it is to Florida. I’ll admit now that’s probably taking it a bit too far and, therefore, I’d like to amend that statement to say this: Without Walker and Scott, Georgia would be closer in history and tradition to Wisconsin than Florida. For most of its history, Georgia has been a good, solid program; just not an elite program.

That’s good trolling.  You can get mad at the editorializing, but the underlying facts are the underlying facts.

Of course, the mark of a master troller is going too far and Bianchi doesn’t disappoint.

Plus, it doesn’t help that Smart may have met his match in Mullen, who turned UF’s program around in one season and is starting to challenge Smart’s superiority on the recruiting trail.

And there’s no higher praise of a good troll than another master of the art’s recognition, which of course followed yesterday like the day follows night.

I hope you DawgNation fellas are taking notes.

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UPDATE:  If you’ve got the time, you ought to listen to the first hour of yesterday’s Finebaum show, not so much for Bianchi, who just repeats his column, but for what Seth Emerson had to say afterwards.

46 Comments

Filed under Gators, Gators..., Georgia Football, Media Punditry/Foibles, PAWWWLLL!!!