The 404 is coming to the 706.

Interesting…

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Name that caption, uh hunh edition

Boy, this looks awkward.

I swear, that Elvis impersonator looks like Les Miles… which would be perfect, by the way.

The problem with SEC officiating, in two paragraphs

Via Ross Dellenger:

The league sees what you tweet. Vincent and Chuck Dunlap, the conference’s director of communication, are responsible for monitoring social media on Saturdays in the fall, identifying viral moments surrounding SEC football games. “Chuck might identify, ‘Twitter universe went crazy in Knoxville! What’s going on?’” Shaw says. This begins a process of evaluation that often results in Shaw crafting a statement that might never be published…

… And all SEC officials are part-timers; Shaw himself worked at BellSouth and then AT&T while he served as a head referee for 15 years. The day jobs for SEC refs range from teacher to salesman, from insurance agent to small business owner. The SEC pays its officials about $3,000 a game, Shaw says, but that number can vary.

So the conference feels sensitive enough about the job to track the real time social media outrage of every Tom, Dick and Bubba, yet pays its officials at a level that would make a rational human being question why bother doing a job that motivates the higher ups to track the real time social media outrage of every Tom, Dick and Bubba.

This is what you get when you leave the management of something important to a bunch of cheap bastards.

An Xs and Os man in a Jimmies and Joes world

An astute point about Mel Tucker from Bill Connelly:

It always concerns me a hair when a coach used to working with a massive talent advantage — Tucker’s last three college jobs were at Georgia, Alabama, and Ohio State — takes a job in which he will never really have such a thing.

Since the turn of the century, Tucker’s only even-talent situations were in the NFL, and he did not thrive there. Only once in seven years as an NFL DC did a Tucker defense rank better than 20th in DVOA, while he finished in the bottom five four times.

He could upgrade the talent at CU, but he’s playing from behind. In the Pac-12 era, CU has yet to sign a class that ranks better than eighth in the conference and hasn’t signed a class better than 35th overall since 2008. As gorgeous as Boulder is, it’s hard to recruit to, and Tucker’s going to have to figure out how to win games despite recruiting rankings, not because of them.

I don’t think many of us would disagree with Bill’s concerns there.

Like nature, coaches abhor a vacuum.

Stewart Mandel’s take on Bru McCoy, poster boy for the NCAA transfer portal’s craziness, is spot on.

Coaches hate the climate that’s developing around transfers because they hate anything they can’t control. That’s not surprising. But The Portal came into existence because coaches were exerting too much control with sometimes ridiculous restrictions on which schools (conference foes, future opponents, even potential bowl opponents) they would or wouldn’t grant releases. Are some of these kids exercising poor judgment? Yes. But McCoy is hardly the first confused 18-year-old trying to figure out what he wants. Changing the rules wouldn’t make him less confused; they would just take away his options.

Those of you bitching about the apparent chaotic nature of the portal process conveniently overlook something:  coaches brought the portal craziness on themselves.  As usual when it comes to college football, proactive solutions were shunned.  A sensible attempt to rein in the more egregious behavior at the time it occurred might have sensibly modified things before the current arrangement became the reaction.  But that would have meant asking coaches to negotiate away some of their godlike control over players.

Maybe next time they’ll think about the consequences of their control.

Time flies when you’re having a good time.

It’s Smart’s fourth season, so data like this shouldn’t startle me when I see it, but, still…

UGA is entering its first season, however, where the roster will be made up almost completely of players Smart has recruited. The 43-year-old head coach just inked his fourth class and there are really only three players, Michael Barnett (nose tackle), Tae Crowder (inside linebacker), and Rodrigo Blankenship (place-kicker), who were signed by the previous staff.

We’ve come a long way from the cratering of the 2013 class, eh?  And still managed a couple of thrilling seasons in the meantime.

Your 6.5.19 Playpen

Game of Thrones may have been HBO’s popular darling, but I’ve just finished watching two of the most impressive shows HBO has ever put out there, both of which were far more satisfying productions.

• Chernobyl is simply incredible.  This five-part series is a drama, not a documentary, so while its attention to recreating the era is impressive, it’s not slavishly devoted to the entire truth.  Details have been modified to make for better viewing, but the essential truth of the story is there.  And that essential truth is both horrifying and compelling to watch.  The horror is not just in watching what the nuclear accident wrought, nor is the herculean effort to prevent an even larger disaster all that is compelling.  The best and strongest part of the story Chernobyl eloquently tells is the day-to-day horror of living with the consequences of a rigidly authoritarian society.  If you’re trying to impress upon someone an appreciation for living in a free country, don’t shove them at a hack like Hannity.  Plop them in front of Chernobyl and leave them to understand what they have.
• I’ll be honest with you.  While I was excited to hear the news that HBO had approved making a Deadwood movie wrapping up the loose ends the series’ untimely demise left remaining and encouraged by the early words coming from the actors about the script, I still had concerns about whether they would be able to pull it off in a condensed format.  I am here to tell you Milch indeed stuck the landing.  (Yeah, it’s a little ironic he accomplished something in two hours that the GOT writers couldn’t in six episodes.)  Deadwood:  The Movie is brilliant in every way you might expect if you’re as big a fan of the series as I am.  Okay, the plot isn’t much (although plot wasn’t really a big deal for the series, when you think about it), but the dialogue and the attention lavished on the characters, major and otherwise, shines.  The story is a reflection on the passage of time and the toll it takes on people, which is a brilliant use of the real world time span between the end of the series and the movie.  The acting is compelling; Olyphant, in particular, gives the best performance of his career.  One thing I’ll say is that while it’s offered as a standalone story, it’s far more enjoyable if you’ve watched the three previous seasons.  In any event, it’s not to be missed — especially Ian McShane’s final words, which constitute one of the great closing moments in the history of television.

Speaking of Olyphant, this is a little story that has to be shared (WARNING:  minor spoiler alert):

… and Seth confronting Hearst in the thoroughfare with Dan and Johnny backing his play. After the first few takes of the latter scene, director Daniel Minahan gave Olyphant freedom to try alternate versions of Bullock’s scripted reply to Hearst threatening to come for him: “Expect you will, Senator.” Olyphant tried a few that neither of them liked as much as the original line, then noted that if this was Justified, Raylan would say, “Let me know, Senator. I’ll circle the date.”

Perfect.  Reminds me of this line from Justified:

Add your takes in the comments and try to be mindful of others who haven’t seen either yet, but intend to.  If you can’t avoid discussing something that’s a spoiler, at least warn the rest of us before you post your thoughts.

A day in the life

Scene:  inside the production studio of The Paul Finebaum Show, a camera tracks down a hallway into Finebaum’s office 30 minutes prior to the opening of the day’s show.

Finebaum is relaxing in a chair, reading a dog-eared copy of Sartre’s Being and Nothingness, a half-drunk glass of Cognac and a smoldering Cohiba cigar by his side.  He puts down the book, sighs and looks outside his room.

FINEBAUM:  Hey!  Anybody out there?  What have we got planned for the rubes today?

Anonymous smug staffer strolls in, bemused.

ASS:  No worries, boss.  Some of us were banging a few ideas around and came up with this to post on social media while your show is on.

Which programs are under pressure to win the #CFBPlayoff National Championship in 2020? pic.twitter.com/L2RrX7YGDN

— Paul Finebaum (@finebaum) June 3, 2019

FINEBAUM:  Excellent.  The Mullen pounding has run its course for now.  Getting the Saban and Smart groupies worked up is good timing.  Let ‘er rip.

ASS:  Thought you’d like it, boss.

FINEBAUM:  You still here?  Did I invite you to stay?  And close the door behind you.

ASS:  Er, sorry, boss.

ASS backs out of room, leaving Finebaum to reach for a sip, a drag and his book.  Fin.

Playing for second place?

So, if you go by FanDuel’s 2019 SEC championship odds, here’s how the two divisions’ order of finish projects:

SEC West

1. Alabama
2. LSU
3. Mississippi State
4. Auburn
5. Texas A&M
6. Ole Miss
7. Arkansas

SEC East

1. Georgia
2. Florida
3. Kentucky
4. Missouri
5. South Carolina*
6. Tennessee*
7. Vanderbilt

(* tied)

A few observations:

• The two leaders have significant gaps between themselves and the projected second-place teams, something I expect to see repeated at SEC Media Days.
• TAMU and South Carolina are both dinged for brutal schedules, which isn’t surprising.
• The years when Auburn isn’t taken seriously are the years when I worry about Auburn.
• Missouri can’t play for the SEC title, so the Tigers’ regular season success is going to come down to regular season motivation.  Good luck predicting that in advance.
• Insert snark about Tennessee projected to finish ahead of Vanderbilt… again.
• Most over-rated:  Mississippi State.  Most under-rated:  TAMU.

Your thoughts?

Down and out in the 404

Well, now.  USF’s athletic director explains his standards for judging when his school agrees to play two-for-ones against P5 programs ($$):

What White doesn’t want is AAC teams signing two-for-one deals with programs he feels are on equal footing. Kelly said the same thing.

“If it’s a more comparable economic situation, like we’re finishing up a one-for-one with Georgia Tech, our stadium sizes are comparable and it makes sense,” Kelly said.

Considering Kelly’s never resorted to a 4 tickets, 4  hot dogs, 4 cokes promotion to put asses in the seats, comparable might be something of a stretch there.