A day in the life

Scene:  inside the production studio of The Paul Finebaum Show, a camera tracks down a hallway into Finebaum’s office 30 minutes prior to the opening of the day’s show.

Finebaum is relaxing in a chair, reading a dog-eared copy of Sartre’s Being and Nothingness, a half-drunk glass of Cognac and a smoldering Cohiba cigar by his side.  He puts down the book, sighs and looks outside his room.

FINEBAUM:  Hey!  Anybody out there?  What have we got planned for the rubes today?

Anonymous smug staffer strolls in, bemused.

ASS:  No worries, boss.  Some of us were banging a few ideas around and came up with this to post on social media while your show is on.

FINEBAUM:  Excellent.  The Mullen pounding has run its course for now.  Getting the Saban and Smart groupies worked up is good timing.  Let ‘er rip.

ASS:  Thought you’d like it, boss.

FINEBAUM:  You still here?  Did I invite you to stay?  And close the door behind you.

ASS:  Er, sorry, boss.

ASS backs out of room, leaving Finebaum to reach for a sip, a drag and his book.  Fin.


Filed under PAWWWLLL!!!

22 responses to “A day in the life

  1. mwo

    Excellent work sir!


  2. ChiliDawg

    Lol, I think they overplayed their hand this time.


  3. RangerRuss

    Hey man, Finebaum still sees you as the banner riding, coed kidnapping pirate of your youth. He thinks he’s better than you.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Muttley

    Good stuff, Senator.

    One of these days they’ll leave a hot mic going and he’ll come to a Lonesome Rhodes/A”Face In the Crowd” ending. “Yer alll mah sheep! Grin, ya monkeys! Do whut ah tell yuh!”

    Except I think his audience would just grin along and agree.

    (Heck, Lonesome even had a writer pal he insultingly called “Vanderbilt”…)


    • Muttley

      Actual speech (I looked it up):

      “Those morons out there? Shucks, I could take chicken fertilizer and sell it to them as Caviar. I could make them eat dog food and think it was steak. You know what the public’s like? A cage of Guinea pigs. Good night,you stupid idiots. Good night, you miserable slobs. They’re a lot of trained seals. I toss them a dead fish and they’ll flap their flippers.”

      This was actually explained to me by a buddy who’s spent his career in radio: male audiences, especially sports talk audiences, like to be called stupid.


  5. FlyingPeakDawg

    I see Finebum as more of a Bartley’s & James plus Salem’s kind of guy, but your off-off Broadway directors may disagree.


  6. SCDawg

    Senator, did you sub out a post to Spencer Hall? Are you going to post about an obscure blues band on EDSBS in return?

    Liked by 1 person

  7. McTyre

    Well done. Some of the Drama Dawgs in our ranks are all too happy to take the bait – whether offered by well-paid agitators like PF, clownish coaches or players in rival programs or simply Gator fan at the water cooler. It takes at least two to troll or be trolled.


  8. JN

    Ay mane, erebody just trying to make a living. That’s all Pawl trying to do.


  9. UGADrake

    I say we start blowing up Finebaums twitter and other social media for the Senator to go on the show to represent us.


  10. Gurkha Dawg

    I read Sartre back in the day. Had to for a humanities class. I thought it really sucked. It seems like the kind of thing people talk about when trying to make others think they are intellectual but really are the exact opposite.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. TN Dawg

    This is so stupid.

    Every Dawg fan I know will be happy with a 10 win season and maybe appearance in the SECCG, maybe a trip to the Outback Bowl.