Today, in brevity is the soul of wit

Stewart Mandel, a man of few words ($$):

The school: Tennessee.

The problem: The Vols are a hapless, poorly-coached football team. Even worse than usual.

Is it fixable? I seriously doubt it.

As the Talmudic scholar once said, all the rest is commentary.

44 Comments

Filed under Because Nothing Sucks Like A Big Orange, Media Punditry/Foibles

44 responses to “Today, in brevity is the soul of wit

  1. Dawg1

    I had many “friends” who went to UT or were fans. They were absolutely INSUFFERABLE from 1992-2006.

    RIP UT program.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. TMCDAWG

    It make take cleaning house again coach AD whole nine yards for them to come out of this hole. In the meantime I’ll get more popcorn and beverages and watch. Funny as hell!

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    • Got COwdog

      Nah. Phil is in as AD, and it would be considerable coup for him to land Meyer. The fact that it would cost them at least another 10 million for the Pruitt and staff buyout, in addition to the 8 or so they still owe Booch to keep Mrs. Saban’s Mercedes clean, Jimmy Sexton will make sure Urbs gets a near record contract. So thirty million (give or take) later they can begin the turnaround, which will take at least 4 years, and that’s just to get past the Vandy slump.
      I would say hoist your glasses, Dawg fans, to the downfall (Spell that: Runaway train smashing into a flaming orange dumpster filled with neatly bundled hundred dollar bills) of volnation!
      Smoking crater, indeed…..

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      • DawgPhan

        No one will miss the dental insurance if they cut that.

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      • stoopnagle

        The best part is the Meyer may as well be Gruden because there’s no amount of money that Urbs is taking to coach Tennessee. It isn’t a top five program and likely will never get there again.

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        • Mayor

          Ahhh…..I’m not so sure about that. If Urbs took that job the Vowels would be back within 3 years. He said it himself in the segment about UT–the SEC East still isn’t very strong top to bottom. All you have to do is be better than Mizzou and FU (both not really quality teams) and you then are the #2 team in the East and then you are competing at least to play in the SECCG. Catching the Dawgs is another matter entirely, though, but Urban has proven that he can recruit and also coach ’em up. Urbs is a douchebag but he can definitely coach.

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  3. gastr1

    I’m enjoying this debacle immensely so far. Can’t decide if I’d rather see them get blown out by SEC opponents or manage to snatch losses from the jaws of victory as they did on Saturday.

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    • PDawg30577

      I want to see them snatch losses from the jaws of victory against the likes of GSU, BYU and UT-Chattanooga.

      Otherwise, I want to see blowouts all the way down. Over-by-the-middle-of-the-second-quarter blowouts. Demoralizing blowouts. Shameful blowouts. Shitting-and-falling-back-in-it haplessness on the part of both coaches and players. Weeping and gnashing of the teeth they have left that still meet in the middle. Plagues of poison frogs. The Tennessee River turning to blood under burning Vol Navy boats. Give me a few minutes and I’m sure I can think of other things.

      Nothing is too bad to happen to that program. Nothing.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Texas Dawg

      Either is fine with me as long as the biggest blowout occurs on October 5th. I would like to hear the fight song played after about 10-15 successful drives (or pick/scoop 6).

      Like

  4. practicaldawg

    If the second year bump exists, Tennessee managed to trip over it and land teeth-first into the asphalt ahead of it.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Busta

    It’d be glorious if they managed to beat fU though, crabs wearing orange in a barrel.

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    • Biggus Rickus

      It’s not impossible, seeing as Florida isn’t particularly good on offense. It just seems unlikely that UT won’t fuck it up somehow even if they have a chance late.

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  6. Dawgflan

    Pruitt @ Tennessee
    Mullen @ Florida

    With some fans wanting Pruitt and our AD wanting Mullen, not only did UGA dodge some major bullets, but they got lodged in the chest cavities of our SEC East rivals. Oh and then there is Muschamp @ SC. What wonderful times we live in.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Doug

    I remember Georgia being favored against newly Manning-less UT my senior year (1998), only to get dealt a 22–3 loss. I remember Vol fans walking out of Sanford holding up little orange cards with the number 8, as in the number of times they’d beaten us consecutively. I remember them walloping us again the following year, making me wonder if we’d ever beat them again.

    At that point, if you’d told me that in 20 years the Vols would be getting dickpunched by the likes of Georgia State, I would’ve thought you were full of shit. But sometimes it’s nice to be wrong.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I was living in Los Angeles in ’98, and even out there Georgia’s pending upset of UT was a story. The U of T had injuries and we had won a (seemingly) big one at Baton Rouge. Jim Rome talked about us on the radio, and USA Today did a big story with color pics on the front of the sports page, which I proudly displayed on my wall at “Futurama”, where I was a storyboard artist. Had that down and in recycling at about 9 Monday morning. Total despair.

      Liked by 1 person

    • ApalachDawg

      Lane Kiffin and Hail Mary kharma is a bee-yaatch!

      Like

    • 22-3 doesn’t begin to do that ass whipping justice either. Manhandled that day.

      Like

  8. DawgPhan

    VolNation is likely to spend the next month losing to UGA, Florida, and Bama by a combined 100 points.

    Pruitt and UT really deserve each other.

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  9. W Cobb Dawg

    I don’t believe Jim Chaney is getting enough credit for his contribution to the loss. That offense moved the ball all day and yet scored only 1 TD in regulation. It was a brilliant effort for anyone who appreciates futility.

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    • Biggus Rickus

      In Chaney’s defense, Guarantano sucks, and the one TD they did score was on a horribly ill-advised throw that miraculously bounced off the linebacker’s hands and landed in Jennings’. That said, if I was the head coach, I would tell him he is not allowed to ever call an end-around in short yardage.

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      • W Cobb Dawg

        The run on 3rd & 12 with 1:56 left in the game was pure playcalling gold! Even Shotty would look on with admiration.

        High paid OC guru’s FOR THE WIN! Err… in this case FOR THE LOSS!

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    • ^^100% this. I sent a text message to my father and brother during the 3rd or 4th quarter of the UT game saying “Tennessee’s offense under Chaney looks exactly like UGAs did the last few years, except without any of the talent.”

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  10. Bulldawg Bill

    In case you were wondering, the scholar was Rashi.

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  11. No Axe

    The Hillbillies deserve what they get.

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  12. Salty Dawg

    All your comments warm my cold red and black heart. Bless all of you. Read Volnation.com comments about it all if you want some icing on your cake. Deliciousness!

    Like