Outsourcing to Spencer Hall

From the current Banner Society email:

This is what it’s like to watch 2019 Auburn football, by Spencer
Insert alt text here
Someone in this game had to be fun, because it sure as shit wasn’t going to be Georgia. Georgia is this year’s excellent zero-fun-added football team of record, doing nothing to make a game any more interesting than it absolutely has to be. Jake Fromm will throw for 100 yards, and all of them will be crucial and necessary yards to get. D’Andre Swift will run for almost exactly 100 yards. Kirby Smart will coach the game like it’s 1982 and he is possessed by the spirit of Pat Dye, because Kirby Smart a) is the kind of coach who would happily ban football games involving more than 40 points combined, and b) has definitely lost at least one pair of pants in Lake Martin.

Note: I bet Kirby Smart is so football-conservative that he misses ties.

What’s your point, dude?

Georgia is the wealthy funeral home director of college football teams right now. They may be well off, but no one wants to watch what they do to get there. The Bulldogs got exactly what they wanted when they hired Nick Saban’s defensive coordinator: a team that looks and plays just like 2009 Alabama. No one liked watching them win things, either.

Well, almost no one.  Personally, I couldn’t take my eyes off the game in the fourth quarter.

25 Comments

Filed under Auburn's Cast of Thousands, Georgia Football

25 responses to “Outsourcing to Spencer Hall

  1. PTC DAWG

    What an idiot.

    Like

  2. Jack Klompus

    Spencer is a bad ass.

    How does one go about getting that email?

    Like

  3. MattR

    I have always liked Mark Richt (still do, think he is a consummate example of what a person should be), but I also love winning. And I have seen the comparisons of Richt’s record versus Kirby’s. But everyone should realize that we have done something that Richt never did. We have a 3 game win streak versus Florida…and we have won the SEC East three straight times. It hasn’t been this good since 1980-82!!!

    Great to be a Dawg!!!!

    Liked by 3 people

      • JCDawg83

        You realize we didn’t win the East in 2013, right?

        Liked by 1 person

        • Athens Townie

          LOL. Good call, JC. And, yea, details.

          Not only did we fail to win the East in 2013, we ****ing sucked in 2013. We finished with a humbling bowl loss to Nebraska in the Gator Bowl after losing to Clemson, Missouri, Vanderbilt, and Auburn during the regular season. Both South Carolina and Missouri finished ahead of us in the East.

          We really sucked, in other words.

          We never won three East titles in a row under Richt. Never would have either.

          Like

    • Dawg1

      Yep, we had enough fun with “Air Georgia” with Zeier and still never one anything of note after that Clemson game. You can have the points, I’ll take the Ws.

      And I am predicting we beat LSU. When games get tight, the stakes get high, Defense wins Championships — and LSU doesn’t have one.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. jermainesdye

    Winning is fun.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Biggen

    No one likes watching us? Huh… I think he needs to check out our TV ratings over the season. I’d say the network execs disagree.

    Liked by 3 people

  6. Spike

    We HUNKERED DOWN one more time you guys!

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Greg

    “What’s your point, dude”?

    He “would rather look good and lose than look bad and win”

    Liked by 1 person

  8. practicaldawg

    It’s hilarious watching all the talking heads who picked Barn now downplay this win after talking about how impossibly good Barn’s front 7 is and how impossibly hard it is for anyone not named Barn to win at JH.

    Beating ranked teams is hard. Ask Minnesota. Beating 3 top 15 teams in a one season is super hard. Beating highly ranked rivals on the road is even harder.

    Say what you will about Kirby, but he’s the only one other than Coach O who is winning these big games. And he’s showing you don’t have to do it the same way.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. TimberRidgeDawg

    Spencer Hall is a bitter Florida bitch who longs for the days of Spurrier and Urban which is when he believes is the actual start of Florida football history.

    Sorry Spencer, SOS and Urban were aberrations. You’re living your real history now.

    Too think that the man actually used to be witty. Sad to see youthful optimism crushed under the weight of seeing the cold dead future of your beloved program.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Bulldog Joe

    (1) Looks fun to me.
    (2) Sinclair is assigned belt duty for a reason.
    (3) Gator tears are salty.
    (4) How ’bout them fuckin Dawgs?

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Derek

    “How ‘bout them fuckin dawgs?”

    -CKS
    11.16.19

    Liked by 3 people

  12. David Chadwick

    Some of y’all must have missed the part where Hall called Georgia an “excellent” football team. Hmmmm.

    Like

  13. 69Dawg

    Some of you young guys might not remember the Dooley days but Kirby has us “Back to the Future “. The Junkyard Dawgs are back but this time they are 5 stars. He is channeling Erik.

    Liked by 2 people

  14. California dawg

    Spencer was funny. Some of y’all are too sensitive.

    I will say our defense is pretty damn fun to watch. And if Fromm and our receivers connected more, the offense would be as well.

    Liked by 2 people

  15. Classic City Canine

    Our offense is downright painful to watch. It reminds me of 2015 under Schotty and Lambert, but with more wasted talent. Our defense on the other hand is a joy. It’s too bad, we can’t just sit back and enjoy the great defense but have to beg them to save our butts every week instead.

    Liked by 1 person