Envy and jealousy, Todd Grantham edition

David Hale brings it again:

… Todd Grantham, a fan favorite in every SEC town but Gainesville, coached a defense that surrendered 321 yards on the ground. Tyrion Davis-Price ran for 287 and three touchdowns by himself, the most ever against a Florida defense, breaking a record held by Herschel Walker. It takes a special kind of awfulness to let someone break a Herschel Walker record by 50 yards.

That’s the funniest thing I’ve ever read about Grantham that didn’t mention third down.

39 Comments

Filed under Envy and Jealousy

39 responses to “Envy and jealousy, Todd Grantham edition

  1. D as in Dawg

    Hahaha!! I was waiting for a post on UF so I could beg you to do something with this…

    Todd Grantham, a fan favorite in every SEC town but Gainesville, coached a defense that surrendered 321 yards on the ground. Tyrion Davis-Price ran for 287 and three touchdowns by himself, the most ever against a Florida defense, breaking a record held by Herschel Walker. It takes a special kind of awfulness to let someone break a Herschel Walker record by 50 yards.

    Liked by 5 people

    • D as in Dawg

      Some more fun with Florida…

      But here’s a truly wild Florida headline: Over each of their past 10 games, none of the seven FBS teams based in the state have a winning record.

      Liked by 6 people

      • D as in Dawg

        Gator fans are always confident. My buddies last night were praising UGA and have already fully accepted defeat. It’s so nice to be a Dawg down here under Kirby.

        Liked by 6 people

        • RangerRuss

          The normal cacophony from my gaytard pals is unusually silent. Got a “Braves Win” text from ol Bob yesterday and that’s all.
          I ain’t saying a damn thing as the last time I woofed shit was 2002 and that came back to bite me right in the ass.
          You’re doing the Lord’s work down there in occupied territory my fine friend.
          Fuck those motherfuckers.

          Liked by 5 people

        • Texas Dawg

          Smurphy Gator posted this on Swamp Talk (I’m loving that collection of angst and TG/Dopey Dan loathing). Pretty much sums up the TURDS state of mind
          “In two weeks, Georgia and Florida will face off in the World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party, but Florida fans might as well start drinking now. The less they remember, the better.”
          My my how the tables have turned

          Liked by 5 people

          • iusedtopostasmikecooley

            And I can’t get enough of their fatalism. I’m from and live in Southwest Georgia. I know a lot of mouthy Florida fans. Even during a lot of seasons when they weren’t very good they were still mouthy about “them Gators, boy!” Not this year. And it was almost worse under Urban than it was under Spurrier. During the Spurrier era those people were arrogant but there was still this feeling that they couldn’t believe this was happening to them. By the time the Cardiac Kid got to Gainesville they thought they were entitled to it. That’s only just now starting to be beaten out of them.

            Liked by 4 people

  2. Todd Grantham may not be what Florida needs, but he certainly is what they deserve.

    Liked by 22 people

    • iusedtopostasmikecooley

      Yep. He and Sideshow Dan both are.

      Liked by 6 people

      • Texas Dawg

        TG and Sideshow Dan are a match made in hell. Each of them believes he is the smartest man walking the face of the earth. Each of them believes he is infallible and therefore no changes are needed. Each of them is a gift for the rest of us. Imagine Florida with competent coaches? All that talent in the state, the other major programs in shambles and unable to take advantage of it. SOS and Corch may be assholes and in the case of Corch totally immoral humans, but they could coach and recruit. I like this new toothless, hand wringing bunch of TURDS much better.

        Liked by 4 people

    • Bulldawg Bill

      No, no, JP! “Deep down in places you don’t talk about at cocktail parties, you WANT me on that line! You NEED me on that line!”

      Like

  3. iusedtopostasmikecooley

    Now making fun of how stupid Todd Grantham is, that’s something I can get on board with.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Hogbody Spradlin

    Back to the good old days of Doug Dickey.

    Liked by 4 people

    • siskey

      I hope so. As someone who became a fan in the early 90s and for years had to list the Tommie Frazier game as one of my favorite games because of how they dominated us, only to then have Urban and his “big deals” and Tebow and that QB running the same play for 400+ rushing yards in 2014, I hope we beat them by 50 and win the next 20 in the series. Go Dawgs!

      Liked by 4 people

  5. spur21

    Funny – we tried to tell them but they ignored the warning and said we were just jealous because they stole our DC.

    Liked by 3 people

  6. iusedtopostasmikecooley

    Enjoy this thread on Grantham. One of my favorites, “There’s a reason Georgia didn’t want him. They threw him in the hedges and let Dan have him.”

    Liked by 3 people

  7. practicaldawg

    Grantham is creative. Rather than fixing 3rd and Grantham, he got so much worse at everything else that people forgot about 3rd and Grantham. Definitely needs another raise.

    Liked by 7 people

    • Texas Dawg

      Is Todd Grantham really that bad of a DC or is he really AGENT GRANTHAM? To be that bad would almost take a concerted effort to destroy what lay in front of you with no attempt to fix it. Did we plant him in Hogtown to destroy the enemy from within ?

      Liked by 1 person

  8. LSU running the same counter trap play over and over and over and the gators doing nothing about it was such a thing of beauty. May we repeat the same.

    Liked by 1 person

    • ericstrattonrushchairmandamngladtomeetyou

      It wasn’t always the same play. Sometimes LSU ran it to the right, other times they ran it to the left. 😊

      Liked by 2 people

    • iusedtopostasmikecooley

      Remember the Spurrier barb about that after one of those losses to SC about something similar?Something like, “That little inside zone read, it’s just a basic play. There’s nothing fancy about it. I guess they don’t run that in the NFL.” Well now The Old Ball Sack is back in Gainesville and and he gets to be on the other side of it. The chickens have come home to roost. The same thing that makes you laugh will make you cry. FTMF.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. …” Todd Grantham, a fan favorite in every SEC town but Gainesville,” manna from heaven…this is a glorious Sunday

    Liked by 2 people

  10. uga97

    The 2nd funniest thing is anyone who picked FU preseason to win the East as well as them tied with Vandy, USCe, Mizzou in SEC losses with 3 each. Clowns to the left, Jokers to the right…..

    Liked by 1 person

  11. gurkhadawg

    Todd Grantham should write a book on how to interview for a job. I mean, he HAS to have incredible skills on talking to prospective employers, right?

    Liked by 4 people

    • Texas Dawg

      He is the walking, talking embodiment of “You don’t have to dazzle them with brilliance, just baffle them with bullshit”. There can be no other answer (unless he has some really damning pictures of other head coaches and AD’s in leather with a dominatrix and a small pony).

      Liked by 1 person

    • originaluglydawg

      Rule number one would be,
      1.Only apply for jobs where your boss will be a bigger dumbass than you are. This way you can bullshit him into extending your contract even when you demonstrate that you suck at your job.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Texas Dawg

        That would mean every job from dog catcher all the way up to CEO of a Fortune 500 company would be in play for Grantham and Mullen. Each is convinced that he is the smartest man walking the planet. The reason they fail to succeed is that all those little people around them are too incompetent to put their brilliant plans into action properly.

        Liked by 1 person

  12. I still really don’t pay much attention to 4th place teams in the division.

    Like

    • Texas Dawg

      You’re a much better man than I if you’re not reveling in their misery. I can’t think of a more deserving bunch of arrogant turds for this to be happening to.

      Liked by 2 people

      • If FU turns into a dumpster fire, please let it be more prolonged than 10RC…let’s have decades go by without losing to them, and we reduce their relevance to that of Vandy or S . Carolina…that would be a thing of beauty

        Like

  13. cowetadawg

    Part of me wishes the Gators had more hope heading into the Cocktail party so the Dawgs could deliver the truth. The other part of me realizes that the truth is good no matter how it is spread.

    Liked by 2 people

  14. Dylan Dreyer's Booty

    If you didn’t read the whole David Hale piece you really should. Funny as hell. Explains why MuLLLen is not Darth Vader, but rather, Wile E. Coyote, and much more.

    Like