Stepdaddy issues

My Gawd, this is pathetic.

When did IPTAY become a cult?

83 Comments

Filed under Clemson: Auburn With A Lake

83 responses to “Stepdaddy issues

  1. Corch Irvin Meyers, Former Jags Corch (2021)

    So tell everyone without telling everyone that your mother was just a little bit of a whore. 🤷🏻‍♂️

    Liked by 15 people

  2. classiccitycanine

    Sounds like they’re taking a 9-3 season just fine up there.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. thenewandimprovedtronan

    That’s parody, right? I mean, it has to be. Right?

    Liked by 7 people

    • Down Island Way

      Once those gamecock step daddies found out he was a closet klempzen love child, no waverunnin’, cigarette smokin’, camero drivin’ like you stole it, casserole eatin’ 3rd base coach is hangin’ aroung till the 1st of the month…

      Liked by 4 people

  4. Got Cowdog

    FastChad needs a hug

    Liked by 6 people

  5. PTC DAWG

    Delusional comes to mind.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. sundiatagaines

    Man, he’s really gonna be ticked when Saban retires next week and Dabo slides over to Tuscaloosa.

    Liked by 6 people

    • timphd

      My thoughts exactly. Dabo loves his Clemmons boys until a better offer that he can’t refuse comes along.

      Liked by 4 people

    • fisheriesdawg

      Until this year, I didn’t think there was a chance that Dabo would make that move. But it looks like the wheels may be starting to come off in Clemson a little, and perhaps he knows it. I think the rise of Georgia is really starting to show in their recruiting classes. I could see a world where he makes that move this year and takes his chances in the big chair, knowing that he’ll have to win out of the gate and keep winning.

      Still, Clemson is a king among dunces in the ACC and if the playoffs expand there’s a strong case to be made for hanging around.

      Liked by 1 person

      • godawgs1701

        I think he’ll go to Alabama, too, but when does go to Alabama it will confirm that he’s full of shit with all of this sanctimonious hand wringing over the state of college football. Alabama is the machine and if Dabo goes, he’s just acknowledging that he never meant any of it.

        Liked by 3 people

        • moe pritchett

          When he goes to Tuscaloosa….we get to see the phrase “never follow a legend.” Play out in real time.

          Liked by 4 people

          • siskey

            My bet is that Saban has at least 3-4 more years in him at Bama. But, I like you can’t wait to see how that plays out. I think Dabo is too smart to go there and replace Saban but $15 million a year might make him reconsider.

            Liked by 2 people

            • PTC DAWG

              That kind of money would give most anyone pause.

              I too think Saban has a few more years left.

              Liked by 1 person

            • whybotherdude

              I think Saban has a few years and by then Dabo will have ruined his chance with the, no portal and fewer offers than most teams, way he recruits and the new assistants he hires. He will be fired at Clempson, or at least look bad enough Bama passes on him, before Saban leaves.

              Liked by 2 people

          • mg4life0331

            I came here for this. You never follow a legend. IDGAF if he played there back in the day.

            Liked by 2 people

    • D.N. Nation

      I dunno…I know it makes sense that Dabo would be their post-Saban plan, but his whole schtick seems more Auburn to me #fambly #jeebus

      Liked by 2 people

    • stoopnagle

      The best part is he won’t get the offer until after Kirby tells them to pound rocks.

      Liked by 2 people

  7. Ricky McDurden

    Somewhere along the way A&M and Clemson switched bodies and while seeing them knocked down a few rungs is my preferred brand of schadenfruede, I can’t say I’m thrilled with the neighbor’s sudden interest in cloaked chanting and ritual animal sacrifice so late on a school night.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. godawgs1701

    When did IPTAY become a cult?

    Assuming this is rhetorical…

    Liked by 13 people

  9. RangerRuss

    Genuflect to the Dabo, you orange peckered, Cheetos eating motherufckers!
    10-3
    43-18-4

    Liked by 14 people

  10. “Coach Dabo Swinney is the only coach that will ever truly care about them.”

    It’s true…now drink the Koolaid

    Errbody here at Jonestown, errr Klempzen is happy to be here

    Liked by 2 people

  11. God told Dabo this is true.

    Liked by 5 people

  12. Between this and the Orange prison track suit he was sporting….

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Hogbody Spradlin

    Sounds like FastChad has some experience with Stepdads. I wonder how many times FastMom has been down the aisle?

    Liked by 4 people

    • stillthatguy

      I’m assuming that by ‘down the aisle’ you mean being married, and, not as a euphemism for something else…

      Like

  14. Shewdawg

    That’s just gross.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Shades of East Bound and Down. Nice work, Chad.

    Liked by 2 people

  16. miltondawg

    Extraordinarily cringe.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. gurkhadawg

    Holy shit! Is that what passes for family life of the average Clemson fan? My ol man never made much money and could be a mean bastard, but I knew he would cut his right arm off for us and he sure as hell never left except when he checked out for good.

    Liked by 3 people

    • RangerRuss

      Most of my friends, black and white, had dad living at home all the way through UGA. That was something I found very peculiar once I got out in the world. It was a bit of a shock meeting men whose only exposure to male adult leadership was school, sports or the military. Much more common around here now.

      Liked by 9 people

  18. Derek

    I think that reads to suggest that he has some serious mommy issues…. If mom is marrying assholes that’s on her right?

    Say that reminds me…. Anyone remember “If you love your mother, don’t send her Flowers?”

    Maybe she was this guys mom and he doesn’t no how to deal with his anger?

    Like

  19. originaluglydawg

    I wonder if the Bama powers (whoever they are) want Dabo.
    It’s going to be quite a stir when Saban signs off.
    You have to be crazy or the GOYG (greatest of your generation..aka Saban) to take that job. Lose a couple to Auburn and you get bricks thrown through your window.
    I hope Sweeny does show up at Alabama. He’ll be following a legend he cannot possibly match and within two or three years, there wlll be dumpster smoke billowing from Tuscaloosa.
    If we have to raise a billion dollars to keep Kirby, it will be money well spent.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Corch Irvin Meyers, Former Jags Corch (2021)

      I can almost guarantee Dabo doesn’t take the job after Saban retires or expires, whichever comes first, for the very reasons you elude to here.

      I think he actually does want the Bama job. He’s already proven to be the best coach in Clemson history, so there’s really nothing left for him to do there. However, he’s going to allow someone like Mel Tucker go to Bama and fail (by not being Saban, not because they’re actually bad), and THEN, and only then, Dabo will ride into Bama with his 2 or more National Titles from Clemson in tow, and “rescue” the program from the guy who wasn’t Saban.

      Liked by 3 people

      • RangerRuss

        When the dumpster conflagration in Gumpville erupts Archie Mater will be forced to relocate her business. Maybe the local Po Po will look the other way as she sets up shop at the public outhouse they call Bryant-Denny. If she wears a Bama jersey while doing the chicken head they may even provide security.

        Liked by 2 people

      • Gaskilldawg

        I question whether Alabama would offer him.
        I will bet Saban ‘s opinion will carry a lot of weight. I wonder what Saban privately thinks of him.

        Like

        • akascuba

          I don’t believe Dabo is now anywhere near as popular in Tuscaloosa as he once was. His mouth has burnt some important bridges leading to any future job offers.
          I’m also in the camp of believing by the time Lord Saban retires the appeal of Dabo will be well faded.

          Liked by 2 people

  20. Texas Dawg

    It almost sounds like when you go to Clempsun you’re joining a cult. All worship the most high and mighty, worshipful Dalai Dabo. The acolytes that surround him have to be watched. They may be false prophets that are looking to usurp our deity and lead the flock away. If they be cast out or stray, they must be demonized for the tyrants that they have proven themselves to be. Only the high and mighty Dabo can bring you salvation. All others are false prophets.
    Or some such bullshit at over at greater Greenville Community College and Commune

    Liked by 3 people

  21. barneydawg

    “Auburn on the lake” never seemed more true.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Texas Dawg

      This is bizarre even by Auburn standards. That’s taking it to a whole new level. I’m sure the Auburn crowd is looking to have a “here, hold my beer” moment as they seek to regain the title of the most screwed up head scratching bunch.

      Liked by 2 people

  22. Terry McCullers

    Y’all do realize that if the Dabo thing to Bama doesn’t workout who’s next on the list? That’s right CKS!

    Like

    • fisheriesdawg

      The difference here is that Dabo played at Alabama (which is the main reason he’d be targeted first). Alabama would have to pull Kirby from his alma mater, which is a heavier lift so long as the money isn’t wildly different.

      Like

    • Texas Dawg

      I can’t see Kirby leaving. He has everything he could wish for at UGA. Don’t think that stops Bama from making a run at him when Saban retires, but I would bet all of YOUR money that he turns them down and stays home.

      Liked by 3 people

      • RangerRuss

        Just from watching his joy and excitement after beating FU and the seven dwarves I can’t imagine Kirby ever leaving UGA of his own volition.

        Liked by 3 people

        • Texas Dawg

          Momma called. And when Momma calls, you just have to come runnin’. ~ When asked why he returned to Alabama in 1958 to coach the Crimson Tide.
          Kirby heard Momma calling him home to Athens. He’s home enjoying Momma’s cooking. He ain’t leavin.

          Liked by 1 person

    • stoopnagle

      Kirby will be their first call, but it’ll be a waste of their time.

      Like

  23. dawgleg

    PSU revisited?

    Liked by 2 people

  24. borderdawg

    Reality here in SC people. I was unable to listen to local sports radio over here for the last few years, due to the Clempson snobery. I don’t care for the national sport shows, as it has way too much of a professional sport slant.
    Now, Clempsons flagship radio station is must listen entertainment on my ride home from work. They are losing their minds! The #trustinDabo crowd are starting to crumble!

    Liked by 2 people

  25. Texas Dawg

    “shows you how to roll your first cigarette”
    “takes you to that big party where you see your first naked woman|.”
    The images that rant conjures up are disturbing at best. The naked woman that you would see at this kind of party could make you take a vow of celibacies and put you in therapy for years (if you were not a Clepsum, 10RC, or Awbarn fan. I can picture them pulling up in their 15 year old Camaro that’s rusting out but has a killer $2500 sound system blaring. They get out of the car window (because the doors won’t open, sporting their mullets as they pass the two old coon dogs tied up outside. They make their way up the rickety steps into the 8th single wide on the left in the trailer park. Once inside spit cups and a half empty keg of Natty Lite await. Your step dad #3 (or is it #4) pulls out the tobacco from his sleeve and starts rolling a cigarette so you do the same. You see a large woman who has had too much to drink hoist her near 300lbs and 4 teeth onto the kitchen table. She starts taking all off showing off her rolls of fat and her new tattoos. You smile as your hit the keg to get a beer, because you realize your mama went all out to arrange this to celebrate your 13th birthday the Clepsun way.

    Liked by 2 people

    • RangerRuss

      Texas Dawg, you must’ve visited Myrtle’s Place on the Sakerlina side of Gregg Shoals before it was inundated by Lake Russell. Locals know not eat the fish from over or downstream of that spot.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Texas Dawg

        I will neither confirm or deny any activity across the SC State line back in the early 80’s. Fortunately for all of us of a certain age, cell phone cameras had not yet been invented. If they had, none of us could ever run for public office

        Liked by 1 person

        • RangerRuss

          If there were cell phone cameras back then? To this day I would be shunned by even the crowd that lives under the bridge.
          Yet still, there would be those happily pic clicking away and sexting their friend’s wife. Taking orders from from your one-eyed pal and his close friends, two nuts and an asshole, usually leads to disaster.

          Liked by 2 people

    • Harold Miller

      Images of Myrle Beach dance in your head.

      Liked by 1 person

  26. uga97

    Helter Skelter

    Like

  27. theorginaldawgabides

    Damn, son. Maybe Jerry Sandusky was this guys stepdad.

    Liked by 1 person

  28. W Cobb Dawg

    If they ever want to make a modern version of Deliverance, I think FastChad has a good shot for one of the lead mountain folk rolls.

    Like

  29. NotMyCrossToBear

    Idiotic. I can’t believe he actually wrote that shit.

    Liked by 1 person

  30. thedawgalorian

    Let me tell ya something bud, I’m a proud stepdad and I fucking hate Dabo.

    Liked by 1 person

  31. His thumbnail is a shot from 01/06 where he’s seemingly photoshopped the Clempson paw into; seems to me that lines up pretty well.

    Like

  32. I’m just gonna leave this here…there is a whisper in the coaching community that Dabo has been badmouthing (or at least downplaying) his assistants when other schools have asked about head coaching or coordinator rolls for his assistants. While of course an interview process would happen, the endorsement from the head coach holds a lot of weight.

    Dabo better hope it is not true, or doesn’t hold water.

    Like

  33. Harold Miller

    Word of advice Clemson. Never got full Auburn.

    Liked by 2 people

  34. Scotty King

    Methinks Nick retires after one more Natty – more at Bama than Bear, confirming GOAT status.

    Dabo = luckiest bastard since Ringo (or Ronnie Wood).

    Like

  35. This reads like something Spencer Hall would have written back in 2007 before he sold out to the man

    Like

  36. veryfinepeopleonboth Sides

    Wait until he finds out Dabo is going to the Jax Jags….

    Like