Auburn is the Beyond Crompton of dumpster fires.

My Gawd.  All this in less than a day.

From PM: Will Bryan Harsin be Auburn’s head football coach next week? That’s an open question as of late Thursday night.

There has been smoke coming from the Auburn administration for day. Over the last two days, it became clearer almost by the hour that Harsin was in some trouble. After Thursday’s Board of Trustees workshop leading to today’s Board of Trustees meeting, a flood of rumors began.

Off-field issues, more than Harsin’s 6-7 record and five consecutive losses, apparently led to the administration taking a hard look at Harsin and his program. Almost two dozen players have left the program via the transfer portal. He has lost half of the coaching staff he hired earlier this year. He did not sign a player on national signing day. There have been accusations of verbally abusive treatment of players, coaches and support staff.

It is uncertain when a decision will be made or made public.

Canning a coach after one season is both stunning and also prototypical behavior for the folks on the Plains.  The times being what they are, I’m sure the boosters and administration are looking for anything they can hang their hats on as a justification to fire Harsin for cause.  And there are several juicy rumors already circulating that I’m not going to dignify by mentioning here.

Instead, I’m trying to figure out how low the Barners will go with the next man up.  Hugh Freeze?  Urban Meyer?  Jeremy Pruitt?  Dan Mullen?  (I’m leaving Bobby Petrino off because I think that particular rose has lost its bloom.)  This is a school that just gave a lifetime contract to Bruce Pearl, so clearly they have no problem holding their collective noses if they believe there’s significant upside.

Shit, where did I leave that popcorn bag?

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100 Comments

Filed under Auburn's Cast of Thousands

100 responses to “Auburn is the Beyond Crompton of dumpster fires.

  1. Dawgs for Dopey/Goofy!

    But we really would prefer Harsin stay there forever.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. armydawg

    I knew this guy’s an idiot when he canned the best OC he’ll ever have, and his DC said F### it and walked away. Obviously, there have to be some mental and/or emotional problems in play here. At Auburn it just means less!

    Liked by 5 people

  3. Dawgfan1995

    Hugh Freeze has already gotten his adultery behind him (supposedly/allegedly/theoretically), so what could possibly go wrong?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. 3rdandGrantham

    The rumors involve him and a personal assistant he brought with him from Boise. Her initials are ‘CC.’ I will say that, on an administrative assistant salary, she certainly has traveled to some exotic places around the world.

    Anyway, my first reaction is that the story either means: 1. Harsin is a complete internal idiot for thinking he could keep this under wraps (never mind the moral aspect). 2. Auburn is the shadiest program ever for looking for a way to fire an unpopular coach for cause. Of course, a combination of these two perhaps is in play also.

    Of course all this naturally hits right after signing day. How convenient. Of course, the irony here is that Auburn didn’t sign a single player on signing day. So there’s that.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Biggen

    Harsin’s latest hire isn’t doing him any favors in the “rumor” dept.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. theotherdoug

    It’s gotta be Hugh Freeze.

    Urban won’t take a job where he has to face Saban and Smart every year, so you can cross him off the list.

    Liked by 8 people

    • theotherdoug

      One more thing, this story needs a juicy jet tracking to get where it deserves to be. Come on Auburn Fambly!

      Like

    • 79dawg

      He’s getting heart palpitations just thinking about it….

      Liked by 1 person

    • godawgs1701

      It will definitely be Hugh Freeze. Auburn is the only program in the SEC that is shameless enough to hire him. And once he’s on the Plains this whole thing is going to look a lot less funny.

      But for now it’s fantastic and is just another feature of the best football year ever.

      Liked by 3 people

      • miltondawg

        If it is Freeze, I tend to agree. I, for one, do not want to play Auburn every year with Freeze as the coach. I suspect that somewhere deep in the bowels of the athletic facility in Tuscaloosa, Saban is saying the same thing to himself. With Auburn’s access to talent in Atlanta and in Georgia as a whole, Freeze would be far more dangerous than he was at Ole Miss.

        Liked by 1 person

        • godawgs1701

          We need to have a few emergency meetings and get the transfer portal dead periods put in place so whoever they hire won’t be able to restock. lol

          Like

  7. rigger92

    Thanks for the daily reminder that it’s good to not have access to twitter.

    Liked by 8 people

  8. aim260

    No sympathy, just the finest redneck schadenfreude there is.

    Liked by 7 people

  9. MGW

    First they’ll embarrass themselves getting rejected by Meyer (who will leverage the offer to squeeze a little more out of some sort of TV contract… they’ll get their hopes up for that one), then they’ll go for someone like Freeze. Maybe we’ll get lucky and they’ll get publicly spurned by Monken somewhere in between.

    Like

    • godawgs1701

      Yeah, Urban is never going to start a program with such a huge deficit against Nick Saban. He isn’t Steve Spurrier, he doesn’t have the balls to start face down on the mat. He only “rebuilds” when there’s already a stacked roster left behind somewhere like Florida or Ohio State.

      Liked by 3 people

  10. artistformerlyknownasbman

    I need to set my DVR next week. Is this soap opera called The Young and the Winless, As the Plains Turn, or something else?

    Liked by 8 people

    • Down Island Way

      O.K. class, can you say “CESSPOOL”, thats ok little johnny cethpool is acceptable…the wonders of prettiest little cesspool on the plains…#AUBURN SUCKS!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Paul Holden

        Yes, the Tennessee orange is apparently (finally) squeezed out. Now to enjoy the Au’barn lemon. And, in a national championship year. How sweet it is … Go Dawgs!!

        Liked by 1 person

  11. Bulldawg Bill

    Now just who is it that rides off into the cess, er, sunset with Grace Kelly????

    Like

  12. 81Dog

    After the success Pearl has had there, and blended seamlessly into the AU Culture of Omerta, they’re going straight for Freeze. His brand fits that place like a glove.

    Liked by 5 people

  13. They.
    Spent.
    Twenty.
    Million.
    Dollars.
    For this.

    Liked by 15 people

  14. ApalachDawg aux Bruxelles

    Hugh Freeze c’mon down…our offer includes VIP passes for the Gold Nugget on 98 in PCB + staffers to manage your burner accounts.

    Liked by 3 people

  15. RangerRuss

    Auburn fans and administration from top to bottom deserve this. Bunch of sleazebags. Someone should compile a list of all the shit they’ve pulled just from Cam Newton to recently. Karma is a smooth, cold bitch.

    Liked by 14 people

      • RangerRuss

        That’s more evidence. Now do football, boy.

        Like

        • Derek

          Boy? You must have me confused with some other body.

          I can think of a bunch of pre-Scam football related scumbaggery. I actually can’t think of any since Scam left.

          Can you, kid?

          Like

          • RangerRuss

            Stop. Don’t even try that shit with me. I earned my Man Card. It begins with an R and has ANGER spelled after.

            Liked by 1 person

            • godawgs1701

              Same team, gentlemen, and you’re both making the same point. It is Auburn that sucks.

              Liked by 1 person

            • Derek

              Were you ever at Camp Frank D. Merrill, son?

              Like

              • RangerRuss

                I’ll play nice with that leg. First time at Camp Merrill was summer between my Jr and Sr year for a week in JROTC. Made lifelong friends with cadre and students. Met SFC Richard Alchin(sp?) of Timex fame. “Dropped my watch on a parachute jump. It took a licking and kept on ticking.” Learned how to navigate with a map and compass and low level mountaineering and rappelling. I didn’t like the blueberry pancakes.
                UGA ROTC would go train there or Mt Yonah once per quarter. We Rangers were in charge of rappelling instruction for the other cadets. Then we patrolled at night. Damn good training. Made friends with cadre.
                Some of the same cadre were still there when I showed up a couple years later when I was earning my man card. Parachuted from Hueys into postage stamp sized drop zones. Humped a hundred lb mountain ruck and toted an M-203 up Yonah and Hawk Mountain and down into Penitentiary Cove and all over the TVD in one of the coldest winters on record in ’85. At least I got to eat a couple of meals in the finest chow hall in the entire yankee Army. Yeah, I’ve been to Camp Frank D. Merrill. Still don’t like blueberry pancakes.
                So Derek, what the fuck did you do between the ages of 17-23?

                Like

                • Derek

                  Mainly smoking dope and talking bad about my country.

                  What years were you up at the Camp Merrill? I went to school, was friends with and played football with the son of one of the Sergeant Majors that went through there.

                  Liked by 1 person

                • RangerRuss

                  Full disclosure? So was I. It was simply part of the culture back then. No urinalysis. Hell, I was going to the Playboy #1 ranked party school. One of my best memories as cadet commander is sitting on a chestnut stump opposite the rappel cliff watching my men train and toking on a number with a future Colonel in Military Intelligence.
                  I was at Merrill early 80’s at UGA and ’85 when I got my Tab. Fortunately I had no dealings with the Camp Sergeant Major ever. The only time you want to see that guy is waving good bye.
                  What was the Sergeant Major’s name?

                  Liked by 1 person

                • Derek

                  Sergeant Major Hall

                  Liked by 1 person

                • RangerRuss

                  SGM Hall doesn’t ring a bell.

                  I like to laugh and joke about dope because it’s funny to me. I enjoyed the hell out of college and wouldn’t trade that experience. Once I graduated UGA that was the end of all that. Been doing dangerous stuff ever since and need to keep my mind right. Hell, I’ve cut back on drinking to almost nil.
                  What a draaaag it is gettn’ oooold.

                  Like

            • stoopnagle

              eyeroll

              Like

    • theoriginalspike

      The Bagman nods approvingly!

      Like

  16. Derek

    Dana Holgorsen

    Liked by 1 person

  17. theotherdoug

    “Kirby, Tank Bigsby has slided into your DMs”

    Liked by 1 person

  18. NotMyCrossToBear

    Harsin cannot come back next year after this. What little juice he had left just went down the drain. They will offer the job to Freeze. I think AU can’t get any shadier and they pull this shit. Amazing.

    Liked by 2 people

  19. stoopnagle

    That poor woman hasn’t woke up yet. She really ought to shut down her insta.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Ran A

    My only worry is Del McGee played at Auburn. I do not think he would bolt for the same position, but if they offered him a O.C. position. Would hate to lose him, but getting BMac back is even more important now. And if he did go, Heinz Ward wanted the job BMac got.

    Like

  21. mp

    I am sick and tired of our rivals firing their mediocre or terrible coaches so quickly…Pruitt, Mullen, Harsin…stop making such rash decisions!

    Liked by 8 people

  22. barneydawg

    That is so Auburn. They could eliminate a step and just name Jimmy Yallawood as Coach. Maybe he could bring back Lil Bobby Lowder as his backup dancer. Those 2 have run the Barn for decades anyway.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Coaching clinics will use this guy as Exhibit A on everything NOT to do when running a program. Fire coaches mid season, tank recruiting, run players off to the portal, break decades old losing records, screw the help. Damn. I mean just damn.

    Liked by 3 people

  24. jim1886

    Hiring Hugh Freeze would be our worst nightmare

    Liked by 2 people

    • RangerRuss

      Worst nightmare? That might be a bit overstated, Jim. Hell, Freeze could provide some real entertainment in that shithole on the Plains. What would make me wake up in a cold sweat, screaming like a little girl, would be dreaming that Kirby took the HC job in Hogtown.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Derek

      Wasn’t Hugh’s “best” attribute cheating in a way that is now legalized?

      He’s just gus with fewer morals so far as I can tell.

      Liked by 1 person

      • godawgs1701

        Depends on which type of cheating you’re referring to, it’s now legal to pay for one brand but paying for the other brand is still illegal in most states. lol

        As for his coaching attributes, the man can coach the hell out of an offense, there’s no doubt about it. I don’t want him at Auburn.

        Liked by 1 person

    • godawgs1701

      The thing that would worry me is Auburn’s AD remembering the Georgia receivers running naked through his secondary the past two falls and coming to call on Todd Monken.

      Liked by 4 people

    • I don’t understand why “Let’s just go out and get Hugh Freeze” seems to be such a common knee-jerk reaction when a group of SEC fans becomes dissatisfied with their coach. Even if you include the vacated wins (which is most of them), Freeze was only 39–25 at Ole Miss—not terrible, but hardly the stuff of which CFP championships are made. And, it should be noted, worse than Malzahn’s record at Auburn.

      Liked by 2 people

      • godawgs1701

        High octane offense and two wins over Alabama are all that you need to convince people you are the answer.

        Liked by 3 people

      • Texas Dawg

        “Let’s just go out and get Hugh Freeze” is the perfect fit for Auburn. A no ethics, cheating SOB would be a match made in Hell for Auburn. Two peas in a pod. No make that 3 peas in a pod with his basketball doppelganger already under a lifetime contact. Bobby Petrino would also be a perfect fit for them, and they already made a run at him in the past so they should still have that file handy.

        Liked by 1 person

    • W Cobb Dawg

      Not so sure about that. He’d be under a microscope after what happened at Ole Miss. It’s far tougher to cheat now with NIL. Plus, Freeze would have to fight through the sec west gauntlet before even thinking of giving Kirby any competition.

      Life is easy at Liberty. You can win 8+ games without breaking a sweat and the world couldn’t care less about what happens in Lynchburg. It’s not the sec grinder.

      Liked by 1 person

    • PTC DAWG

      Kirby & Co ain’t scared.

      Liked by 1 person

  25. Corch Irvin Meyers, Former Jags Corch (2021)

    You hate to see it… but also, you love to see it.

    Liked by 5 people

  26. godawgs1701

    Things sure do seem to be moving fast down there. Has Harsin considered calling a timeout?

    Like

  27. Harold Miller

    Burn Auburn Burn like a Disco Inferno https://youtu.be/u5lSeYd_riw

    Liked by 1 person

  28. Got Cowdog

    Booch.

    Like

  29. theoriginalspike

    Send lawyers, guns and money!

    Liked by 2 people

  30. whybotherdude

    Fire Harsin, Offer Saban $30mil/yr. Saban takes the job, works one year, beats the new Bama coach and retires. Watch the entire state of Alabama explode.

    Liked by 1 person

  31. Clesi, mother of Dragons, destroyer of worlds….

    #AuburnSucks

    Liked by 2 people

  32. Derek

    I couldn’t have said it better:

    Like

  33. originaluglydawg

    He’d be crazy to do it, but James Franklin would be a good choice.

    Like

  34. theorginaldawgabides

    Just think, none of this would be happening if Tank doesn’t go out of bounds.

    Like

  35. archiecreek

    Rush Probst on line one……..

    Liked by 1 person