“He’s never smoked a cigar before.”

I imagine this is an interesting week for Booch.

This is cold. https://t.co/Ebflv00J6e

— Michael Casagrande (@ByCasagrande) October 17, 2018

No doubt the players find this funnier than he does.

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Charity case

Taken as a whole, this may be the most pathetic justification offered for a powerhouse program to play FCS cupcake games I’ve ever read, especially given that it’s coming from a blog for a school where the head coach just blasted the students for leaving games early.

“We mess up a lot.”

For those of you fretting over Georgia’s inability to totally dominate a conference opponent from the opening snap, just imagine how you might feel if you were an Alabama fan today.

“I don’t think you really beat the other team when you give up 31 points like we did today,” Nick Saban said.

Poor Nick, having to settle for a 34-point margin in a road conference game.  I don’t know how the man gets out of bed this morning.

The GPOOE™ shows his ass.

So much for Tim Tebow, class act.

Tim Tebow on ESPN on Bama attendance: "As a student, you've done nothing to win all these titles OK? You spend a little bit of your daddy's money to show up at a game and to go to school there. You say you're the best fans in CFB. Well you need to show up" https://t.co/RBbBAXEhI1 pic.twitter.com/qtUki7NHlz

— Barrett Sallee (@BarrettSallee) October 5, 2018

It’s not that they aren’t showing up, genius.  It’s that they’ve got better things to do on a hot day than stay to watch the entirety of a second half of a game when the cupcake has already been seal-clubbed to death.

If we’re talking need here, maybe ‘Bama needs to schedule a better opponent.

Even Alabama

I forgot I had this little tidbit bookmarked until Brian Cook mentioned it yesterday.

The Alabama board of trustees on Friday approved Phase I of the athletics facilities rebuild starting with Bryant-Denny Stadium…

The meeting and interview with Byrne shed more light on unanswered questions surrounding the project officially announced Aug. 16. A few answers:

— The new capacity of Bryant-Denny Stadium will be “a hair under 100,000,” Byrne said. It currently seats 101,821.

— What happens to the fans displaced in the upper deck when the video board replaces a big chunk of the 8,500 bleacher seats? “Most of those are student seats in the upper deck,” Byrne said. “Right now, we’re going through the process of contacting fans who are impacted by this and getting their input on what their first, second and third choices are as part of the relocation.”

— Five percent of ticket holders will be impacted by the renovation.

Folks, when even Alabama commits to shrinking stadium capacity, it’s time to acknowledge we’re likely past the canary in the coal mine phase.  We’re seeing college football embarking on corporatization of the product.  Asses in the seats are being replaced by premium features and pricing.

It’s been nice knowing you, five percent of ticket holders.

Never let facts get in the way of a juicy narrative.

Easily my favorite thing about Dennis Dodd’s “The nation’s top three teams face quarterback conundrums, and there’s no end in sight” thought piece (using the phrase loosely) is this:

The starters at Alabama and Georgia still seem entrenched for now.

Yeah, but there’s no end in sight, or something.

When your header begs the solution

Obviously, it’s time for Nick Saban to bring the Process to Alabama politics.