Category Archives: Because Nothing Sucks Like A Big Orange

Heupel hype

Mike Bianchi overdrive:

Finally, after all these years, tears and crying-in-their-beers, the hype and the hope is real on Rocky Top.

Or should we say the “Heup” and the hope?

As in Tennessee’s Josh Heupel, the man who I believe is the greatest offensive mind in college football and a head coach UCF fans never really appreciated.

Heupel’s high-powered, no-huddle offense dominated Florida’s defense Saturday to lead the 11th-ranked Vols to a closer-than-it-should-have-been 38-33 victory over the 20th-ranked Gators. This was a monumental win for a Tennessee program that has largely been irrelevant since Phil Fulmer was the coach and Peyton Manning was the quarterback a quarter-century ago. The Vols had lost five in a row to the hated Gators, 16 of the last 17.

But on this earth-shaking, ground-breaking Saturday, Heupel’s offense was the difference.

I get that it was a nice win, but, jeez… over the top much?


Filed under Because Nothing Sucks Like A Big Orange, Media Punditry/Foibles

Moar meteor game

Bill Connelly ($$):

Once Hendon Hooker and the Vols get that first first down in a given drive, their odds of scoring skyrocket; that’s a problem for Napier considering almost everyone gets that first first down against the Gators (Florida’s three-and-punt rate: 16%, 123rd in FBS).

So it’s going to be up to Gators quarterback Anthony Richardson to keep up.

That should work out well.


Filed under Because Nothing Sucks Like A Big Orange, Gators, Gators..., Stats Geek!

They might lose, but we can’t.

I confess that I’m having a hard time getting worked up for Kent State (apologies, Golden Flashes).  Fortunately, there’s a decent substitute for my attention this week.

Who’s up for a meteor game?

What are you hoping to see from the Gators and Vols this Saturday?  Aside from the meteor, of course…


Filed under Because Nothing Sucks Like A Big Orange, Gators, Gators...

Be still, my heart

Gag me with a spoon.

I haven’t watched GameDay in ages, so it’s no great loss (besides, I’ll be on the way up to Athens).  But giving three or four hours to show Tooth Nation in all its ragged glory seems like a questionable, maybe even tasteless, decision.

What’s the over/under on the number of “We want ‘Bama/UGA” signs in the crowd?


Filed under Because Nothing Sucks Like A Big Orange, ESPN Is The Devil, Gators, Gators...

The price of success

Sure, why not.

I mean, UT barely had a winning record last season, but, on the other hand, he’s done better than Jimbo so far in 2022.



Just a reminder that Jimmy Sexton never loses.


Filed under Because Nothing Sucks Like A Big Orange, It's Just Bidness

If mocking Tennessee is wrong, I don’t want to be right.

Kudos to Shane Beamer for not missing the important point of his team’s win over Georgia State ($$).

It was easy to shrug off a ho-hum 35-14 win for the Gamecocks over Georgia State, but Beamer went another route in his postgame television interview.

“That’s a good football team we just beat. And we know there’s some other SEC teams that have played these guys and aren’t having the feeling we have right now and had that thing in control in the fourth quarter,” Beamer said.


Filed under 'Cock Envy, Because Nothing Sucks Like A Big Orange

Sympathy for the devil

Talk about the pot calling the kettle black…

Yep, that’s a Tennessee athletic director calling Auburn “a crazy situation”.  (Not that he’s wrong about that.)  What a time to be alive!


Filed under Auburn's Cast of Thousands, Because Nothing Sucks Like A Big Orange

TFW you read the perfect offseason header

I mean, does it get any better than “Why Josh Heupel and Tennessee football give me hope for Dan Mullen“?

And to think they say hope is maybe the best of things…


Filed under Because Nothing Sucks Like A Big Orange

Opportunity is nowhere.

Rodney Garner, embracing the Tennessee tradition of empty sloganeering…

“We’ve got to take a step forward,” Garner said Monday during a news conference. “I think we exceeded the expectations for everybody except for the guys in the room and probably the coaching staff, but nobody came to Tennessee to say they want to be 7-6. That is not the standard.

“We are moving in the right direction, but everybody, when they look in the mirror, can see where we can get better. If we want to be great, then we’ve got to get comfortable being uncomfortable. That’s what it takes.”

I thought it took scoring more points than the other team, but that’s probably not very inspiring.


Filed under Because Nothing Sucks Like A Big Orange

“Is football Vols’ talent good enough to match their dreams?”

Welp, you tell me.

And if this happens, it probably won’t be Heupel’s high-octane offense that ultimately proves the difference in turning last season’s respectable 7-6 record into something noticeably better this time around. Not to shortchange Heupel, but when your offense averaged the seventh-most points scored in the Football Bowl Subdivision last season (39.3), you probably don’t have much higher you can go in that category.

However, when your defense gives up 29.1 points a game — 90th out of 130 FBS programs — you have almost nowhere to go but up. And if you expect to finish much north of 7-6, such improvement will probably have to come on that side of the ball — especially when your average margin of victory against FBS foes was only 6.4 points, which ranked 40th.

Sounds promising.

… Since Georgia doesn’t face Alabama in the regular season — Georgia’s West opponents are Auburn and Mississippi State — the only likely route to the league championship game for the Vols is to win in Athens, with a loss to Alabama affordable if they beat the Bulldogs.

It’s unlikely, but the very fact that players are willing to bring it up publicly bodes well for their attitude if nothing else. Also, unlike last season, when Georgia’s defense was so stout and impenetrable that quarterback Stetson Bennett didn’t have to do much more than not turn it over, this newspaper’s 2022 Best of Preps speaker will likely have to manufacture some offense this time around for the Dawgs.

Bennett’s capable — just ask Alabama about the last eight minutes of the national championship game — but with UT’s offense expected to be at least as good as last year’s model and Georgia’s D falling back to earth a bit, a more competitive UT defense should give the Vols something of a puncher’s chance, especially with their trip to Athens one week after the Dawgs’ annual showdown with Florida in Jacksonville.

If nothing else, assuming the Vols can avoid losing to Florida and LSU, it should keep Big Orange Country dreaming big dreams into November.

One of the more amusing themes on the punditry front of late is the constant search for which East teams will be capable of tripping up Georgia.  Somehow, it’s something of a given that the Vols are going to be able to avoid the land mines that the Dawgs won’t.


Filed under Because Nothing Sucks Like A Big Orange