Category Archives: ‘Cock Envy

South Carolina’s loss is Georgia’s gain.

This, I believe, is the opposite of a cannon shot.

And look who’s minding their ABCs.

Obviously, there’s a long way to go here, but if Stockton does eventually sign and enroll, that may very well set up Georgia’s quarterback room better than it’s ever been set in my memory.  Dayum, Kirbs.

95 Comments

Filed under 'Cock Envy, Georgia Football, Recruiting

Columbia West

Will the last coach to leave South Carolina for Auburn cut the lights off on the way out?

I don’t want to say that happened in the dead of night, but it went down so fast Rocker hasn’t even had time to change his Twitter bio yet.

44 Comments

Filed under 'Cock Envy, Auburn's Cast of Thousands

The beginning of a beautiful friendship

There is so much to unpack from this one tweet, it approaches the density of a dwarf star.

LOL.

Somehow, though, he manages to top it with this:

But of course.

15 Comments

Filed under 'Cock Envy, Transfers Are For Coaches.

Second time’s a charm

Following Mike Bobo’s quick departure, Shane Beamer’s found his man ($$).

A high school quarterback and wide receiver, Satterfield has coached quarterbacks, running backs, wide receivers and tight ends at the collegiate level and last served as an offensive coordinator in the FBS ranks at Temple from 2013 to 2015.

Temple improved from 2-10 to 6-6 to 10-4 in Satterfield’s three seasons, although the Owls never finished higher than 60th in the nation in yards per play.

This is what you get when you have to shop for coaches at the discount store.

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Filed under 'Cock Envy

Get me out of here, Percy.

Originally, this was going to be a post about how South Carolina was going the frugal route with its new coaching staff, presumably to offset Boom’s enormous buyout.  Here’s what the numbers there look like:

Offensive coordinator/QB coach Mike Bobo: 2 years/$1.2 per year
Offensive line coach Will Friend: 2 years/$700,000 per year
Tight ends coach Erik Kimrey: 2 years/$200,000 per year
Running backs coach Des Kitchings: 2 years/$300,000 per year
Special teams coordinator Pete Lembo: 3 years/$450,000 per year
Linebackers coach Mike Peterson: 2 years/$300,000 per year
Defensive line coach Tracy Rocker: 2 years/$525,000 per year
Wide receivers coach Justin Stepp: 2 years/$460,000 per year

Plus, “Beamer had his contract approved by the Board of Trustees officially on December 15 and will make $2.75 million per year each year over the life of the five-year deal.”

They’ve still got a defensive coordinator and strength/conditioning coach to hire, but you get the drift.

Anyway, this post took an abrupt turn when I saw this:

Yep, you read that right.  Friend took a hundred thousand dollar pay cut to get away from Jeremy Pruitt.  Talk about your vote of confidence.  Things must be going great in Knoxville these days.

Anybody got a bag of popcorn to spare?

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UPDATE:  Probably just a coincidence

The University of Tennessee has hired two Overland Park, Kansas-based attorneys to assist its internal investigation into whether the Vols football program committed NCAA rules violations, Knox News has learned.

Lawyers Mike Glazier and Kyle Skillman will work alongside the university. Glazier is well-known for his work on investigations involving college athletics.

The Vols certainly know that.

Glazier, who worked seven years on the NCAA’s enforcement staff, has represented universities in scores of NCAA cases since the 1980s. He has worked with UT previously.

Glazier assisted the university more than a decade ago during the NCAA’s probe of the athletic department that led to the 2011 firing of men’s basketball coach Bruce Pearl.

Yeah, this is going to end well.

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UPDATE #2:  LOL.

29 Comments

Filed under 'Cock Envy, Because Nothing Sucks Like A Big Orange

Athens East?

Shot.

Screenshot_2020-12-28 Is Kirby smart a bust

Chaser.

Including Shane Beamer, four current South Carolina coaches (Beamer, Bobo, Friend and Rocker) have a Georgia connection, including two who coached under Kirby Smart.

19 Comments

Filed under 'Cock Envy, Georgia Football

Down and out in Columbia

It’s hard to believe, but this bowl season will have to proceed without a 2-8 team.

TheBigSpur has learned that South Carolina will not play in the Gasparilla Bowl on Saturday against UAB.

A source close to the program told TheBigSpur on Tuesday morning there was a players only meeting before athletics director Ray Tanner met with the team at 12:30. After the team meetings began, the source confirmed the Gamecocks are not playing this weekend.

JC Shurburtt reported Tuesday morning that a member of South Carolina’ staff has tested positive for Covid-19. Due to contact tracing, most of the coaching staff is currently in quarantine.

The team was already low on available scholarship players, as a result of injuries and opt-outs. Interim head coach Mike Bobo, the only current staff member not in quarantine, said “51 or 52” scholarship players practiced on Sunday evening. The team was scheduled to practice again on Monday, but that was canceled, because of a Covid positive test on the coaching staff.

TheBigSpur was also told on Tuesday that some players on the team did not want to play Saturday.

No kidding.  Sounds like management was more enthused than the players were, which is always a recipe for success on the field.

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UPDATE:  Fallout.

Army was out, and then it was in.  UAB was in, and now it’s out.  It’s like the world’s shittiest game of musical chairs.

30 Comments

Filed under 'Cock Envy

TFW you have lower standards than Georgia Tech

Shot.

Georgia Tech has determined that its season has come to a conclusion.

While a news release on Friday announcing the cancellation of the team’s game against Miami this Saturday left open the possibility of considering a bowl invitation, the determination has been made that playing in a bowl game would not be in the best interest of health and safety, team spokesman Mike Flynn confirmed Monday to the AJC.

Players have been released and will not gather again until the start of the semester in January. The Miami game was also canceled for reasons of health and safety.

Coach Geoff Collins’ second season ends with a 3-7 overall record and 3-6 in the ACC.

Chaser.

33 Comments

Filed under 'Cock Envy, Georgia Tech Football

“USC did not respond to multiple requests for additional comment.”

Is there a competition to be America’s dumbest college athletic director that no one told me about?

An agreed-upon revision to former South Carolina football coach Will Muschamp’s contract that was never signed by the parties would have saved the university $2 million in buyout money when it fired him.

The failure to complete the contract amendment, which was approved by USC’s board of trustees in December of 2019, means Muschamp’s buyout obligation from the school remains at a bit more than $15.5 million, instead of slightly more than $13.4 million.

At the time of the amendment’s passage, the change was publicized as a move to allow Muschamp to redirect money to help retain a key assistant coach. It also removed Muschamp’s annual raises and therefore lowered the university’s burden should it fire him.

However, the contract, which was obtained by The State this week following a Freedom of Information request, shows the amendment was never signed by Muschamp, athletic director Ray Tanner or board of trustees secretary J. Cantey Heath.

A school spokesman confirmed this was the version the school had on file — and not a draft.

Just flat out giving it away.  Tell us again about financial hardships during a pandemic, fellas.

Tanner has said several times, including as recently as Monday, that he will negotiate the buyout terms with Muschamp. Contract law expert Marty Greenberg, however, told The State there isn’t much to negotiate.

An unsigned contract typically isn’t enforceable. Since Muschamp has already been relieved of his duties, it’s not clear what incentive, if any, he has to give the school a break.

That’s a polite way of putting it.  Then, again, if there’s been one consistent management style this year, it’s hoping.

This is how you end up with Shane Beamer.  Jimmy Sexton must wake up every morning wondering why his life has been so easy.

27 Comments

Filed under 'Cock Envy, It's Just Bidness

Where’s the fire, ‘Cocks?

Sure, I get that there’s no live contact allowed with recruits and that Shane Beamer can Zoom just as effectively from Norman as he can from Columbia, but can somebody tell me what the hurry was on South Carolina’s end to hire somebody who has no experience as a coordinator, let alone as a head coach?  I mean, were there any schools other than SC that were knocking down Beamer’s door to hire him?

I don’t really need to tell you who Beamer’s agent is, do I?

Here’s an awesome rationale for the pick ($$):

Because he won’t require a buyout to hire, he’s also an economic choice for the Gamecocks, who are trying to budget paying off Muschamp’s buyout.

Most schools get the head coach they deserve.  We’ll see what that means in this case.

29 Comments

Filed under 'Cock Envy