Category Archives: Don’t Mess With Lane Kiffin

Junior and the Pirate, together again

Turns out they put it out on the intertubes, for free!


Filed under Don't Mess With Lane Kiffin, Mike Leach. Yar!

“So he said, ‘I think I want to go to the fan portal.’”

I hope you’ve got a subscription to The Athletic, because this story ($$), about a nine-year old Tennessee fan who’d had enough of the Vols and decided to change allegiances, is fucking hilarious.

The gist of it is that he, with the help of his father, decided to write four SEC head coaches (Orgeron, Saban, Kiffin and Heupel) in the hopes that one of them would recruit him to support their program.  Here’s a sample:

Saban responded.  So did Coach O.  Amazingly, Tennessee didn’t.

But Junior was the winner.

And then, the phone call came.

“I got a message that said, ‘Coach Kiffin would like to recruit Landon. Is he available for a phone call?’” Justin said. “I thought maybe it was going to be an assistant or somebody saying they’d send us a shirt or a hat or something like that.”

But not long after, Kiffin was on the phone.

“Landon answered the phone and it was Coach Kiffin on the other end,” Justin said. “It was shocking to both of us.”

Read the whole thing, if you can.  It’s a hoot.


Filed under Because Nothing Sucks Like A Big Orange, Don't Mess With Lane Kiffin

TFW you think law school’s too stuffy

Shit, they ought to put it on pay-per-view.  I’d watch.


Filed under Don't Mess With Lane Kiffin, Mike Leach. Yar!

The serpent that eats its own tail

It all comes ’round again:

Screenshot_2021-01-22 𝗯𝗿𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗼 on Twitter

Now, do I think this could happen?  Honestly, and to my great disappointment, no, I don’t think Danny White is that stupid.

But in a world where the football gods have been capricious, to say the least, and Clay Travis exists, I can’t say the chances are zero.  You know what they say about hope being the best of things…


Filed under Because Nothing Sucks Like A Big Orange, Don't Mess With Lane Kiffin

“This is an investment in the future of Ole Miss Football…”

LOL.  As if signing Junior to a contract extension locks anything down in that regard.


Filed under Don't Mess With Lane Kiffin

Coaching ’em down

Love the subtlety here.

Junior coaches like he honestly has no fucks to give.  It’s his superpower.


Filed under Don't Mess With Lane Kiffin

Et tu, Junior?

Honestly, this is almost cruel.



UPDATE:  This, on the other hand, is flat out hilarious.

If Tennessee winds up playing in a bowl game this season, its football staff won’t collect bonuses off the appearance.

Tennessee’s nine football assistants and its strength coach signed contract amendments this week to waive any bowl bonus for this season that their contracts otherwise would entitle them to receive.

Knox News obtained the contract amendments via a public records request.

By those 10 staffers waiving a bowl bonus, the athletic department will save $324,870.

Coach Jeremy Pruitt also will not receive a bowl bonus this season under the teams of the contract extension he received in September.

300 grand will buy a lot of cupcakes.


Filed under Because Nothing Sucks Like A Big Orange, Don't Mess With Lane Kiffin, Recruiting

Birth of a meme

This Mandel tweet…

… suddenly made me realize that Boom is the first coach to have been Kiffin’ed.  (And, yeah, I imagine this just got a little awkward.)

I haven’t seen anyone else use the expression yet, so I hereby claim the trademark in the name of Isabella and Ferdinand of Spain, or something like that.

By the way, ain’t it just like Junior to take a gratuitous shot at Malzahn while celebrating?  Not that there’s anything wrong with that…


Filed under Agent Muschamp Goes Boom, Don't Mess With Lane Kiffin

SEC justice



The SEC has issued the following statement related to the Auburn-Ole Miss football game of October 24:

On the kickoff return in the Auburn at Ole Miss football game at 5:43 in the 4th quarter, the SEC has determined the replay official should have stopped the game for further review of the play. In the football officiating replay process every play is reviewed but, when appropriate, the game is stopped for further review.

Because the play was not appropriately stopped for further review, the necessary slow-motion view of the play was not viewed by the replay official to determine if the ruling on the field should have been reversed.

The SEC Office conducted a review of the play and appropriately communicated its findings above to Ole Miss head football coach Lane Kiffin and other athletics department personnel per conference protocol. However, Mr. Kiffin’s use of social media Saturday following the game to publicly criticize officiating is in violation of Conference Bylaws and Commissioner’s Regulations that govern Sportsmanship and communication with the Conference Office on officiating issues.

Ole Miss head coach Lane Kiffin has been fined $25,000 for his use of social media Saturday after the game made in violation of SEC Bylaw 10.5 related to officiating in the Auburn at Ole Miss football game of October 24.

Tl;dr version:

It takes a lot to make Junior a sympathetic figure, but, congrats, Greg Sankey, you did it!

Aaaaannnnd, the last word.


Filed under Don't Mess With Lane Kiffin, SEC Football

Today’s stat of the day

Apparently, defense is optional for the Laner ($$):

Every Ole Miss opponent has scored a season-high point total against the Rebels.

Florida scored 51, Kentucky scored 41, Alabama scored 63, Arkansas scored 33 and Auburn scored 35. Those are all season-highs for those teams.

Quite the body of work there.


Filed under Don't Mess With Lane Kiffin, Stats Geek!