Junior’s all hat and no cattle act

Really, this is a pathetic track record for a guy who’s currently pulling down $9 mil a year.

… Kiffin is entering Year 12 as an FBS head coach — 1 with Tennessee, 4 with USC, 3 with FAU, now 4 with Ole Miss — and his wins have aged worse than an avocado. The only time in which Kiffin beat a Power 5 team that went on to win 9 regular-season games was when he led USC to an upset of No. 4 Oregon in 2011.

Overall, that translates into a truly awful 1-19 mark against Power 5 teams that went on to win at least 9 regular-season games.

Context:

For comparison’s sake, Billy Napier (vs. Utah) and Jimbo Fisher (vs. LSU) got 1 such victory amidst losing seasons this past year. Even Shane Beamer (Tennessee and Clemson) and Josh Heupel (LSU, Alabama, Clemson) both got multiple wins against Power 5 teams that won at least 9 games this past year. Mark Stoops has 3 such wins at Kentucky in the past 5 seasons.

And yet, the Laner had two SEC schools fighting over his services this offseason.  Looking at that, it’s a shame Auburn didn’t win out.

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Always the Laner

Say what you will about Junior, but he doesn’t quit.

Making sure if he has any openings to keep me in mind. 😂 Back to Back!!! ⁦@GeorgiaFootball⁩ pic.twitter.com/ApENObBg0K

— Lane Kiffin (@Lane_Kiffin) December 5, 2022

A coaching milestone

Shot.

If @Lane_Kiffin coaches six games at #OleMiss next season #OleMiss will become the longest place he's been as a head coach.

— Parrish Alford (@parrishalford) November 29, 2022

Chaser.

Hopefully they keep me @OleMissFB https://t.co/Qwz8TWVFIf pic.twitter.com/XqEgpcReFH

— Lane Kiffin (@Lane_Kiffin) December 1, 2022

Congrats to everyone involved, particularly Jimmy Sexton, without whom this presumably wouldn’t be possible.

The Egg Bowl abides.

How it started:

How it’s going:

🚨NEW🚨 Lane Kiffin informed Ole Miss players Wednesday evening that, unless something significantly changes, he plans on staying with the Rebels, sources tell @mzenitz & @SpiritBen

More: https://t.co/3q4uLkghZc pic.twitter.com/Fi0CQpiuAY

— On3 (@On3sports) November 24, 2022

Yeah, those kids should be pumped.

Just another day in the life

Shot.

BREAKING: #OleMiss HC Lane Kiffin plans to step down as the Rebels coach Friday and head to Auburn to become the Tigers next head coach, according to sources

Sources say the Tigers haven’t officially offered the job to anyone yet.

So Lane to Auburn is happening. Story soon.

— Jon Sokoloff (@JonSokoloff) November 22, 2022

Chaser.

pic.twitter.com/6hdU07FOfx

— Lane Kiffin (@Lane_Kiffin) November 22, 2022

True?  False?  No idea, but the timing — just days before the Egg Bowl and Iron Bowl — is impeccable.  Junior’s been a chaos agent his entire career, so this non-denial about what would be his sixth head coaching job (honestly, I may have lost count) is certainly on brand.

And if it is true, Auburn is such an appropriate landing spot, don’t you think?

Take your moral victory and shove it.

This may be the first time ever I’ve respected Lane Kiffin as a coach.

"I don't really give a shit about how many yards we had; how close the game was. We didn't win the game." – Lane Kiffin after Ole Miss' close loss to Alabama. #HottyToddy #SEC #CFB pic.twitter.com/fZAPLmYTne

— The Next Round (@NextRoundLive) November 13, 2022

No love lost

It seems Junior didn’t take kindly to Jimbo’s comments in the preseason.

“Maybe Jimbo has a Joker outfit for me.”

Lane Kiffin interviews never disappoint 😂 @SECNetwork pic.twitter.com/eeWsf6I332

— ESPN College Football (@ESPNCFB) October 30, 2022

Salty!

TFW the game is bigger than the fans

After running through a compelling home schedule to date full of cupcakes, Junior is concerned that the fans aren’t staying in the stadium for a full sixty minutes.

"When you come back out, run out of the tunnel and it looks like a high school game, you can't let that affect you. I've tried social media for two years but I'll worry about what I can control"

More from #OleMiss HC Lane Kiffin on fans leaving Saturday's Ole Miss game early: pic.twitter.com/s7dl92OlWL

— Jon Sokoloff (@JonSokoloff) September 27, 2022

Poor baby.

Attendance hasn’t exactly been great at Vaught-Hemingway Stadium through the first three home games of the season. With a capacity of 64,038, the Rebels have yet to exceed 61,000 in a game. According to the school, the attendance figures have been:

• Week 1 vs. Troy: 60,533
• Week 2 vs. Central Arkansas: 58,373
• Week 4 vs. Tulsa: 60,641

Tickets are expensive.  Concessions are expensive.  Combine that with an overload of cupcakes — gotta make sure that bowl eligibility issue is covered! — and what do you expect?

Unless you’re a football coach.  Then, the game isn’t entertainment for the fans.  It’s an obligation.

Eh, Kentucky comes calling this week.  Maybe the fans will stay.

I pity the fool.

My Gawd.

#OleMiss HC Lane Kiffin on #GaTech situation…

“I would have liked the opportunity to throw more with Luke, but having empathy for what was going on in that game on the other sideline and the hot seat or whatever he’s on, just didn’t really feel like it was right..

— Bryce Koon (@bryce_koon) September 20, 2022

How bad is it when Junior decides to be merciful?

Playing the Lane game

This is fucking hilarious.

Ole Miss head coach Lane Kiffin notes on “Reb Talk” that transfer punter Charlie Pollock is not in a fraternity and asked the punter about it and why he didn’t refute it.

Pollock responded: “It got me on (ESPN) Sports Center.” pic.twitter.com/ECGLi67fKJ

— Brad Logan (@BradLoganCOTE) August 19, 2022

It would be entirely fitting if he gets an NIL deal out of the notoriety.