What Charlie Pierce lacks in predictive ability, he more than makes up in stylish fury:
I mention all of this because, in the opening round of the inaugural Cash Drop in college football this year, Mariota will go up against last year’s winner, the curiously unindicted Jameis Winston, who (I suspect) will lead the Tallahassee Conspiracy To Obstruct Justice to a whopping win that will make the Heisman voting this year look even worse.
“Curiously unindicted” is a mere drop in the bucket. Do read it.
UPDATE: If you liked that, don’t miss Pierce’s Sugar Bowl piece. Especially the opener.
We should pause now, before the trumpets really start to sound, and the luxury suites begin to ring with barely disguised corporate corruption and plutocratic deceit, and before the entire shiny new circus of the College Football Playoff (presented by Gigantocorp, a Monstro company) descends on Jerry Jones’s monument to Freudian overcompensation in the vast real estate desert outside of Dallas.
Leave it to Charlie Pierce to sum up everything that offends me about college football’s latest postseason structure, not to mention what’s coming down the turnpike sooner than I’d like:
First of all, absent a tectonic shift in the way college sports do their business — which would include a fathomless fault into which the NCAA would have to fall, never to rise again — any playoff system is just another gimmick by which the wrong people make the most money. … I do not believe that what the country really needed was one more gargantuan television event that makes the parasitical power structure of college sports even richer, that provides yet another boon to the national gaming-industrial complex, and that allows people who wouldn’t know Wallace Wade from Wally Cleaver to pretend that they care about college football.
Already, the new system has been embraced so enthusiastically by all the institutions of the tottering plutocracy of college sports that it has deformed the regular season. There is no way for the new system to make sense of the SEC West, for example, which is so fat with talent that it virtually has blotted out the rest of the country — so much so that it is entirely possible that a backlash elsewhere may force a lesser team into the field just so people won’t think the whole system is in the tank for a league that does, after all, have its own television network, with CBS Sports (virtually) serving as another one. It will not be long before we hear calls for an expanded playoff system because the current one is unfair to “the kids” who play in leagues less beloved by television executives. And it will become a genuine tournament, which means it will get bigger, louder, and all of its faults will become worse.
All that’s missing there is a reference to brackets. Maybe that will come one day when he writes something about the new 16-team playoffs.
Charlie Pierce, ladies and gentlemen.
And now it will fall to the NCAA, God help us, to parcel out blame and responsibility and punishment. At this point, of course, the NCAA is little more than a walking conflict of interest, and an absurd one, at that. The NCAA would not exist if players were not paid under the table. The NCAA would not exist if so many of its “member institutions” weren’t playing ethical mumblety-peg with their academic integrity to keep the players eligible and the money flowing everywhere except into the pockets of the people doing all the real work. There is absolutely no way this will end well. There is absolutely no way this will not end hilariously, however.
Ain’t that the truth.
Brandon Larrabee, in a piece analyzing Georgia’s 2014 schedule, shoots and scores with this bad boy about the season’s end:
And then there’s the game against a helplessly overmatched team. Oh, I’m sorry, got that backwards. Charleston Southern is next, then it’s the annual rivalry game against Georgia Tech.
Nothing wrong with the occasional cheap shot at humor. Gentry Estes gets my nod today. He’s got a piece up about Georgia’s two smallest players, J.J. Green and Isaiah McKenzie. Here’s one thing he had to say about the former vying for the starting spot at Star:
He hasn’t locked down the position, but he’s still on the short list.
He’ll be here all week, ladies and gentlemen. Don’t forget to try the veal.
I was going to cite this post as another reason Georgia’s secondary may not have to do as much heavy lifting this season as we fear, but then I got to this paragraph…
The Gamecocks have some of the best wide receivers you’ll ever see in practice. Of course that’s mostly because they’re playing against a mixture of inexperience and hot garbage at the cornerback position after hotshot recruits Wesley Green and Chris Lammons forgot that they had to meet some basic standards to enroll at South Carolina. I know! I’m just as shocked as you are! To be perfectly fair, there’s probably a pair of admissions waivers with “Green” and “Lammons” written on them underneath a pile of Coors Light cans on Steve Spurrier’s desk in the football offices, but it’s the summer and it’s five o’clock somewhere so why don’t y’all piss on off until August because the HBC is trying to keep a buzz and play a few holes.
… and promptly forgot what I was gonna write.
Man, I can’t touch that.
Ivan Maisel reads the John Bacon piece I linked to the other day on how Michigan’s marketing is backfiring and sums things up beautifully:
Treat college fans like customers, they’ll start acting like customers instead of people with emotional ties to the product.
At your peril, bitches. At your peril.