The dumbest thing you’ll read all day.

If anybody really thinks that no bowl game on Earth would take a Notre Dame squad with a winning record… well, I’m still sitting on some very attractive oceanfront property in Hahira.  We need to talk.

God doesn’t care about Hotty Toddy.

At least these cretins have enough sense not to show themselves on a football Saturday, because I doubt they’d make it out of the Grove in one piece if they tried.

Thursday morning buffet

Short line, but tasty.

• Josh Harvey-Clemons has a metabolism problem.  I hate him for that.
• More Aaron Murray stat trivia.
• Aw, shucks.
• “That is going to blow a lot of phones up.”
• Check out this fun exercise over at the College Football Matrix blog winnowing out the eleven teams that are most likely to play for a national title this season.
• Non-football, but if there’s a funnier punchline in a recent crime story than “Sebring Police Cmdr. Steve Carr said police did not arrest the dog…”, I haven’t seen it.

Stay classy, Dawgnation.

Jesus, people, how many times do I have to say this?  It’s one kid in one recruiting class.  It’s not the end of the world.  And it’s sure not big enough to make asses out of yourselves.

Monday morning buffet

Go get a plate.

• What cracks me up about this story isn’t that Tennessee cops can’t tell the difference between a marijuana leaf and the Ohio State symbol.  It’s that they think drug dealers are stupid enough to advertise their wares on their cars.
• Georgia Tech’s participation in the last ACCCG had the effect on FSU ticket sales you might have guessed.  In other words, Chantastic!
• Georgia announces a study into the long-term effects of high school football.
• Bill Connelly kicks off the preseason review field with a look at newly minted D-1 member Georgia State.  Based on his piece, anybody wonder how soon GSU achieves parity with Georgia Tech?
• “… of the 20 Georgia recruits that were rated as ’2′ or ‘No’ stars during the last 13 years, EIGHT of them were signed in Richt’s initial season of 2001.”
• I’d find John Infante’s be-careful-what-you-wish-for take on the O’Bannon suit more persuasive if the NCAA weren’t so stubborn about trying to find some sort of reasonable settlement with the plaintiffs.
• And in non-football (although I guess you could call it tailgating) news, the Maker’s Mark folks have their New Coke moment.

Bubble boy

Jesus, Gawd, make this stop.

Both Steve Spurrier and Jadeveon Clowney got a good laugh over media suggestions that the All-World defensive end should consider sitting out his junior season at South Carolina to avoid an injury and secure his spot as the top pick in the 2014 NFL Draft.

On Monday night, after watching the topic debated by ESPN’s talking heads, Clowney tweeted, “I’m playing lol.”

Spurrier laughed when asked about it on Tuesday by the AJC:

I told myself I wasn’t going to post anything about this nonsense – a media frenzy over something one of its own invented in a fit of offseason speculation – but Carvell actually goes out and asks Spurrier to comment?  How stupid is this going to get?  Well, I’ll tell you.

“I wasn’t surprised by the media reaction to the idea because those guys have got to talk about something for three hours every day, and that’s something to talk about,” Spurrier said. “Should he stay? Should he sit out and wait for the money?

“Most of the guys that say he should sit out, they don’t realize the benefits of being on a college football team, and continuing with your teammates to have as big of a year as you possibly can. The money is going to be there down the road, so why would a person give up the thrill of playing college football?

“Those people have never played football, so they say he should sit out and get the money. That’s the only side of sports they see — the money. There’s a lot more to it than just the money.”

Steve Spurrier, of all people, pulls out the “in the arena” defense.  And it works.  That’s how dumb this whole thing is.

Musburger gets it on: the game sucked, but the girlfriend was hot.

A brief primer on the other story from the title game, in the form of five questions:

• Was Katherine Webb’s presence at the title game noteworthy?  As an Auburn student rooting for her Alabama quarterback boyfriend, sure.
• Was there anything wrong with commenting on Webb’s appearance?  She’s a former Miss Alabama.  It’s kind of hard not to notice.  Herbstreit’s “A J’s doing some things right” comment struck the correct, brief and witty tone about that.
• Was Musburger’s commentary too pervy?  Put it this way:  spoken while knocking back a couple of cold ones with the guys in private, nobody cares.  It’s just typical horndog talk.  But coming from a 70-something dispensing love advice to the teenaged forlorn during a football broadcast heard by millions, yeah, it was cringeworthy.
• Given ESPN’s firing of Ron Franklin for a couple of sexist comments, was the network a bit hypocritical issuing this lame-ass apology for Musburger’s comments?  Do I really even need to answer that question?
• Was this inevitable?  Sadly, yes.

As for this, just shoot me.

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UPDATE:  Mr. Conventional Wisdom gets the penultimate observation…

I still don't get Musburger controversy. If Katherine Webb doesn't have a problem with Brent why should anyone else? Brent is good guy.—
Tony Barnhart (@MrCFB) January 09, 2013

… but it’s Josh Kendall for the win.

You mean Katherine Webb is not upset at Musburger for increasing her name recognition at least 100 fold? I'm shocked.—
Josh Kendall (@JoshatTheState) January 09, 2013

Get after her ass.

We all have our ways of coping with grief.  And that SECCG loss was brutal.  Just ask Jana Annette Lawrence.

An intoxicated Georgia Bulldog fan allegedly wreaked havoc at two Dacula restaurants Saturday, groping, licking and flashing fellow patrons before being arrested.

A Gwinnett County police officer was called to the El Jinete restaurant on Liam Avenue at about 7:15 p.m. Saturday, about the time Georgia and Alabama’s SEC football championship game was winding down. Jana Annette Lawrence, 46, had already been kicked out of the establishment, police said, and had left quite an impression.

Inspiration for the header:

By the time authorities arrived, Lawrence was already being removed from Friends, the sports bar next door.

Friends’ owner told police that Lawrence had sat down at the bar with “her butt exposed.” When she was told to leave, she allegedly “pulled her pants down further.”

There’s a Finebaum segment hiding in there somewhere, I suspect.

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UPDATE:  Evidently this wasn’t Jana’s first rodeo.  Holy crap.

Shots fired!

Maybe it’s just me, but if my team is 2-7, I’m kinda hoping it’s the other side who provides bulletin board material.

Auburn sophomore OL Chad Slade: RT @JamesCrepea Slade on Jarvis Jones: "You can stop him, it's not that hard."—
Seth Emerson (@SethEmerson) November 06, 2012

We may have just gotten the answer to this question.

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UPDATE:  Evidently, it’s simply a matter of going out and executing.

“You’ve got to be able to get your hands on him, block him,” Slade said. “He’s a good player, but you can stop him. It’s not that hard. You’ve just got to go out there and make the calls, go out there and execute the calls and know that he’s probably going to be on the side where the tackle will be made…”

Will Muschamp is having a V8 moment now.  If only he’d known!

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UPDATE #2:  Jarvis yawns.

“He’s a competitive guy,” Jones said. “He feels like if he can get his hands on me, he’ll be fine. If he wants to come see me, that’s fine. So that’s how I feel.”

Last night’s “oy, vey” award goes to…

Really, I’m having a hard time deciding who’s the bigger douche nozzle:  do I go with Bobby Hebert for getting kicked out of the press box for excessive cheering, or Nick Saban for bringing SEAL Team Six into the mix on his team’s win?

Tough call.