Category Archives: It’s All Just Made Up And Flagellant

TFW Gary Danielson wants you to know something you already know

Unless I missed something, I don’t think Alabama’s come anywhere close to saying Tua’s 100%.  Whatevs, Gary.

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Filed under It's All Just Made Up And Flagellant

Victim of circumstance

This is some story:  a high school football player gets suspended for the first game of the season because of an ejection in the state playoffs last year but changes his name, class and jersey number and plays anyway.

Of course, the ruse is discovered — his tats gave him away! — and the school penalizes itself by cancelling its season and canning the entire coaching staff.

And it’s here that I introduce you to the head coach… er, former head coach.

Jackson, as well as head coach Brandon Gregory, both went along with the lie that the junior didn’t play, despite him actually putting up 109 yards on the ground and scoring a 56-yard touchdown in the 32-21 win.

Gregory told the Post-Dispatch that the imaginary freshman Burks, “earned” the start and that “it was his time to play ball.” Jackson also put his acting skills to the test, telling the newspaper that “watching last week, it wasn’t fun at all. It gave me a spark.”

… Gregory said after the news was made public that “a mistake was made.”

He also said that he did not know Jackson should have been suspended for a game.

“That’s kinda my wrongdoing of not knowing the rules and that he shouldn’t have not sat out the jamboree, he should have sat out week one so that’s what happened” he said.

As for the coach’s defense of Jackson wearing a different jersey, Gregory said “that’s a thing our kids do on the regular basis, you know, they try to change jersey numbers and sometimes don’t let us know.”

This dude’s wasting his talents coaching high school football.  Clearly, he’s got a bright future in politics.

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“Again, it’s a non-issue. It happens in college football all of the time.”

Shot.

Kelly gave a terse response when asked about the fake injury in his Sunday conference call:

“Owusu was evaluated for a concussion. He was brought to the tent. So, that’s hard to be booing at a young man who suffered an evaluation for a concussion.

“Quite honestly, Georgia doesn’t play very fast, so I found that to be quite interesting there would be a number of questions on something like that.”

Chaser.

To paraphrase a saying, it’s better to remain silent and be thought an asshole than to speak out and remove all doubt.

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Filed under It's All Just Made Up And Flagellant, Notre Dame's Faint Echoes

Doctor, doctor, give me the news

Sometimes you don’t know you’re hurt and it takes the diagnosis of an alert teammate to save you.

Then again, sometimes you just cheat.

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Filed under It's All Just Made Up And Flagellant, Notre Dame's Faint Echoes

TFW the bullshit detector goes to 11

Ladies and gentlemen, the most eye-rolling comment of 2019:

Congrats to Gunnar for making it such a tight race.

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Filed under It's All Just Made Up And Flagellant

“We have to get creative with that.”

Care to guess what NCAA rule they’re talking about?  ($$)

“I don’t know if it’s doing what it was intended to do,” Bamford said.

“I think it should go away,” NIU athletic director Sean Frazier said.

“I don’t know if it fits in today’s world,” Kent State athletic director Joel Nielsen said.

Why, this one.

The NCAA requires an average attendance of 15,000 fans per game once every two years to maintain FBS status. But the reality is a number of programs don’t reach that mark, especially in an era in which attendance is falling across the board while the number of FBS schools has grown. Attendance has fallen in the FBS as a whole seven times in the past eight years, and it is currently at the lowest average mark since 1996, according to CBS Sports.

As a result, schools that have trouble reaching the 15,000 mark have to boost their numbers through artificial means.

As long as some one, or some thing, is buying tickets, they count against the 15,000 limit.  Even if it’s sponsors through a sponsorship deal, or a distribution to local charities.  Or this:

“I don’t think the rule has had any impact on people’s desirability to stay FBS,” Turner said. “They’ll find ways to do it. Oftentimes, it’s through things like having your media rights partner buy the tickets from you and they reduce their fee by the amount of money. That’s crazy. There’s no reason to do that, in my opinion. It’s just fiddling around with the books. It’s arbitrary. It has limited value.”

And yet, it still happens, because schools that don’t stay in compliance are supposed to be penalized by being relocated to FCS.  And because the NCAA turns a willful blind eye to it — largely, I suspect, to maintain a decently sized pool of cupcakes for P5 schools to schedule.

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Filed under It's All Just Made Up And Flagellant, The NCAA

“I’m surprised as you are, this is crazy.”

Hey, remember this guy?

Following Seasons 1 and 2 of Netflix’s Last Chance U at East Mississippi, the series went in search of a new program to cover. One that would provide some drama from future and former highly recruited Division I players, and coaches alike to keep fans tuned in. The bar for drama and intrigue was set pretty high.

The hit series found all that, and then some, when they decided to bring Seasons 3 and 4 to Jason Brown’s Independence Community College program in Kansas.

When Season 3 of the hit series came out, coach Brown and his bravado and unique approach was a central theme of conversations about the new direction the series had taken at Independence. There was plenty of drama between Brown and players who didn’t like his approach, as well as some on his coaching staff, and the series was just a peek behind the curtain.

Late last week, things came to a head when a screenshot started circulating on social media of a text message exchange between Brown and a player, where he plainly shared his disappointment with some of the players choices, before stating – “I’m your new Hitler.”

That went over well, as Brown got canned from his coaching position.  Fortunately for him, it seems he’s made an impressive career move.

Jason Brown was indicted on 10 charges on Friday, eight of them felonies. As reported by the Parsons (Kan.) Sun, Brown has been charged with four counts of blackmail, four counts of identity theft (all felonies) and two counts of criminal false communication.

The Montgomery County (Kan.) Attorney’s Office alleges Brown posed as an attorney of the Cochran Law Firm–that’s the Johnnie Cochran, of OJ Simpson fame–to communicate with two Kansas newspapers regarding their coverage of Brown and the Independence Community College football program, which Brown coached until his February resignation.

Okay, an impressive imaginary career move, but still…

This season’s Last Chance U ought to be a doozy.

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Filed under Crime and Punishment, It's All Just Made Up And Flagellant