Category Archives: It’s All Just Made Up And Flagellant

TFW the bullshit detector goes to 11

Ladies and gentlemen, the most eye-rolling comment of 2019:

Congrats to Gunnar for making it such a tight race.



Filed under It's All Just Made Up And Flagellant

“We have to get creative with that.”

Care to guess what NCAA rule they’re talking about?  ($$)

“I don’t know if it’s doing what it was intended to do,” Bamford said.

“I think it should go away,” NIU athletic director Sean Frazier said.

“I don’t know if it fits in today’s world,” Kent State athletic director Joel Nielsen said.

Why, this one.

The NCAA requires an average attendance of 15,000 fans per game once every two years to maintain FBS status. But the reality is a number of programs don’t reach that mark, especially in an era in which attendance is falling across the board while the number of FBS schools has grown. Attendance has fallen in the FBS as a whole seven times in the past eight years, and it is currently at the lowest average mark since 1996, according to CBS Sports.

As a result, schools that have trouble reaching the 15,000 mark have to boost their numbers through artificial means.

As long as some one, or some thing, is buying tickets, they count against the 15,000 limit.  Even if it’s sponsors through a sponsorship deal, or a distribution to local charities.  Or this:

“I don’t think the rule has had any impact on people’s desirability to stay FBS,” Turner said. “They’ll find ways to do it. Oftentimes, it’s through things like having your media rights partner buy the tickets from you and they reduce their fee by the amount of money. That’s crazy. There’s no reason to do that, in my opinion. It’s just fiddling around with the books. It’s arbitrary. It has limited value.”

And yet, it still happens, because schools that don’t stay in compliance are supposed to be penalized by being relocated to FCS.  And because the NCAA turns a willful blind eye to it — largely, I suspect, to maintain a decently sized pool of cupcakes for P5 schools to schedule.


Filed under It's All Just Made Up And Flagellant, The NCAA

“I’m surprised as you are, this is crazy.”

Hey, remember this guy?

Following Seasons 1 and 2 of Netflix’s Last Chance U at East Mississippi, the series went in search of a new program to cover. One that would provide some drama from future and former highly recruited Division I players, and coaches alike to keep fans tuned in. The bar for drama and intrigue was set pretty high.

The hit series found all that, and then some, when they decided to bring Seasons 3 and 4 to Jason Brown’s Independence Community College program in Kansas.

When Season 3 of the hit series came out, coach Brown and his bravado and unique approach was a central theme of conversations about the new direction the series had taken at Independence. There was plenty of drama between Brown and players who didn’t like his approach, as well as some on his coaching staff, and the series was just a peek behind the curtain.

Late last week, things came to a head when a screenshot started circulating on social media of a text message exchange between Brown and a player, where he plainly shared his disappointment with some of the players choices, before stating – “I’m your new Hitler.”

That went over well, as Brown got canned from his coaching position.  Fortunately for him, it seems he’s made an impressive career move.

Jason Brown was indicted on 10 charges on Friday, eight of them felonies. As reported by the Parsons (Kan.) Sun, Brown has been charged with four counts of blackmail, four counts of identity theft (all felonies) and two counts of criminal false communication.

The Montgomery County (Kan.) Attorney’s Office alleges Brown posed as an attorney of the Cochran Law Firm–that’s the Johnnie Cochran, of OJ Simpson fame–to communicate with two Kansas newspapers regarding their coverage of Brown and the Independence Community College football program, which Brown coached until his February resignation.

Okay, an impressive imaginary career move, but still…

This season’s Last Chance U ought to be a doozy.


Filed under Crime and Punishment, It's All Just Made Up And Flagellant

True or false

Two reasons are raised as potential road blocks to player compensation in this article about the NCAA’s probe of giving players some control over their names, likenesses and images.  See if you can pick out the bullshit one.

Coaches, though, almost have to take that approach. Any coach who made a public statement against it would have it used against him on the recruiting trail. Privately, most coaches have the same concerns Tanner has. What happens if a local car dealer decides to the star quarterback or star running back is worth $20,000 per year as a spokesman? How do the offensive linemen feel about that?

“How does that work in your locker room?” Tanner wondered.

He also wondered if some of a school’s donor base might decide to invest their money straight into athletes instead of, say, donating for a $50 million football operations center.

Yeah, I know that’s a tough call.



Filed under It's All Just Made Up And Flagellant, The NCAA

Ain’t played Central Florida.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you UCF AD Danny White and Mike Bianchi:

UCF athletics director Danny White has made it clear he’s only in the market for home-and-homes against Power 5 teams and is simply not willing to give up millions of dollars in home-game revenue to schedule two-for-ones. And even if he did offer up a two-for-one, it’s not as if Alabama or Florida would agree to play at Spectrum Stadium, where the visiting team only gets 3,000 tickets.

“There are schools where it doesn’t matter if it’s a home-and-home or a two-for-one,” White says. “If a school has enough resources and tradition with their fan base, I’m not naïve enough to think we’re going to get some blue-blood to come play in our 45,000-seat stadium when they only have 3,000 fans. … That’s just not happening. I’m not even trying to get those types of games because it’s not realistic.”

Yeah, that’s the ticket, Danny.  UCF isn’t scared to play Alabama.  ‘Bama is scared to play UCF in its home stadium.

It’s like Florida offering a two-for-one never happened.


Filed under It's Not Easy Being A Mid-Major, It's All Just Made Up And Flagellant

“I don’t know what I would do if I was in that (AD) chair.”

Which is not to say UCF’s Danny White doesn’t have some advice for his South Florida counterpart, after the Bulls scheduled a two-for-one series with Miama.

“(USF AD) Michael Kelly and I talk about a lot of different things … I’m sure that gate is meaningful for them for that single-game sale for those games. It’s a precedent I don’t like being set in our conference for schools to start doing a lot higher volume of 2-for-1s. We haven’t as a conference been that kind of place. We’ve been successful, historically, of getting home-and-homes with Power 6 opponents, and I’d like to see our conference peers continue to do that as we intend to do.”

White is so full of shit with that, mainly because he feels like it undercuts his attempt to push Florida into scheduling a straight home-and-home deal with UCF.  The idea that his conference has been successful at cutting those kind of deals with P5 schools is as in touch with reality as his insistence that UCF won a national championship.


Filed under It's Not Easy Being A Mid-Major, It's All Just Made Up And Flagellant

When he moves his lips

Hey, remember when Jim Delany threatened to take his football and go home?

“… it has been my longstanding belief that The Big Ten’s schools would forgo the revenues in those circumstances and instead take steps to downsize the scope, breadth and activity of their athletic programs,” Delany wrote. “Several alternatives to a ‘pay for play’ model exist, such as the Division III model, which does not offer any athletics-based grants-in-aid, and, among others, a need-based financial model. These alternatives would, in my view, be more consistent with The Big Ten’s philosophy that the educational and lifetime economic benefits associated with a university education are the appropriate quid pro quo for its student athletes.”

Good times.  How’s that whole threat thing going, anyway?

The Big Ten Conference has established a new benchmark in the how-high-is-up world of college sports finance: It recorded nearly $759 million in revenue during its 2018 fiscal year.

The figure, which far exceeds any comparable annual figure for a college sports conference, was revealed in a new federal tax return that the conference provided Wednesday in response to a request from USA TODAY. It is a year-over-year revenue increase of 48 percent, with the conference reaching $512.9 million in fiscal 2017.

The return also showed that commissioner Jim Delany was credited was just over $5.5 million in total compensation for the 2017 calendar year. That, too, is a single-year record for a conference.

I had no idea DIII administrators made that kind of jack.  Well played, Jimbo.

Why anyone has ever taken a single word this asshole says about compensation seriously escapes me.


Filed under Big Ten Football, It's All Just Made Up And Flagellant