Category Archives: It’s All Just Made Up And Flagellant

An entry in the annals of bullshit




Filed under It's All Just Made Up And Flagellant

Today, in amateurism is what we say it is

Just a reminder that Mark Emmert once uttered this horseshit under oath:

And here’s where we’ll be — totally blessed by the NCAA — tomorrow ($$):

That is a different approach from Jenloop, the relatively new platform started by NFL agent Neil Schwartz. Jenloop creates athlete and entertainer profile pages, and users can pay them to send out a tweet or Instagram post (so a Georgia fan on his birthday pays a player to tweet a message to him).

“Jenloop is the 21st-century version of Hallmark,” said Schwartz, who added he is not running afoul of prohibitions of contract agents representing collegians because the platform only facilitates connections among fans, brands, and players. Unlike Opendorse, he is only activating pages for athletes in states that passed NIL laws.

Lewis Cine, a defensive back from Georgia, is on Jenloop, though his page is not yet live. He has talked with several other services. “Well, it’s kind of like certain platforms that come and say, ‘Hey, we want to help you out when the rules pass, when we can begin,’” Cine said.

… How much a non-star collegiate athlete can earn on platforms like Jenloop is unclear. The biggest name currently on Jenloop is the rapper Waka Flocka Flame, who has 1.8 million Twitter followers and charges $1,000 a tweet for fans and $2,500 to endorse a product in a tweet. Cine, by contrast, has fewer than 7,000 followers.

“A player can easily make, minimum, five figures, easily,” Schwartz said. “Six figures if they promote themselves through their own platform.”

Poor Lewis, exploited like that.


Filed under It's All Just Made Up And Flagellant, The NCAA

Today, in jealousy

UK AD Mitch Barnhart is quite the card.

The idea that the program run by the king of one-and-done puts a high priority on being a “relationship enterprise” (whatever the hell that’s supposed to be) is hilarious.

It’s also bullshit.  As Mitch no doubt knows.  So does Calipari, for that matter.


Filed under It's All Just Made Up And Flagellant, It's Just Bidness

Singing for their supper

Stewart Mandel ($$) shoots a couple of fish in a barrel:

In 2007, Gordon Gee, then Ohio State’s president, famously defended the BCS by declaring, “They will wrench a playoff system out of my cold, dead hands.” On Tuesday, Gee, very much still alive and now West Virginia’s president, said he has “always been supportive of playoffs” and is particularly supportive of the 12-team format model recently recommended by a working group of commissioners.

“I’d like to be playing in November knowing that we (West Virginia) have a chance to be in the playoffs,” he said.

In 2010, Bill Hancock, then the executive director of the BCS, defended that system, in part, by saying, “We believe a playoff would diminish the regular season and end the Bowl system, certainly as we know it.” In 2021, Hancock, now the CFP executive director, said, “Twelve (teams) keeps September important, and it also keeps November important.” (And, “There will always be a place for bowl games.”)

Men of principle, every one of them.  For a price, anyway.


Filed under BCS/Playoffs, It's All Just Made Up And Flagellant

The genius of “and… a pony”

Florida’s AD has a three-step plan for scheduling that Andy Staples pushes in this piece ($$) as a balm for fans.  I couldn’t stop myself from laughing out loud when I saw the third step:

All kickoff times should be announced in the spring prior to the season.

I mean, sure, that’s nice.  Except the P5 surrendered control of kickoff times when they took the gold and bent the knee to their broadcast partners, so it’s nothing but pure fantasy, because there’s no way Mickey’s going to lock himself into shitty prime time matchups that would inevitably occur after some teams do better and others do worse than expected in the preseason.

This is the kind of hypothetical, like “let’s imagine what the college football playoff would look like if it was like March Madness” or “it would be so cool if college football adopted Premier League relegation”, that induces eye rolling when I see it presented on Twitter.  That a guy whom Staples refers to as an “influential” AD (one certainly knows from personal experience where the whip hand lies) indulges in the same sort of make believe is kind of sad.


Filed under College Football, It's All Just Made Up And Flagellant

Promises, promises

Guys, I’m surprised nobody in the media is discussing the fact that Clemson will have a new head coach for the opener.

I mean, this is the straight shootin’ Rev. Swinney we’re talking about here, right?  A man of his word, by Gawd…


Filed under It's All Just Made Up And Flagellant

NOW he tells us.


University of Notre Dame Athletic Director Jack Swarbrick agreed Emmert’s agenda has worked against him.

“The more you do, the more you stake out the bold positions, the more you make a target out of yourself. Lying low is not leadership, and that’s never been [Emmert’s] style,” Swarbrick said.


I swear, I don’t know how these people keep a straight face sometimes.


Filed under It's All Just Made Up And Flagellant, The NCAA

TFW the transfer portal gives you a bad case of butthurt




Filed under It's All Just Made Up And Flagellant, Transfers Are For Coaches.

An underrated asshole

There was something about that David Shaw complaint I noted a week ago about Fox daring to make his team play a noon game (“I am pissed at Fox for our kickoff time against Kansas State”), especially that bit about not caring about his student athletes, that nagged at me for some reason.

And then I remembered why.

So, he loves his players enough to get them through the physical pounding of a few more games a season, but making sure they wake up early on Saturday is a bridge too far for his tender loving care?

And this is one of college football’s more respected figures, supposedly.  Trust him.


Filed under It's All Just Made Up And Flagellant

Best “do it for the kids” excuse evah

Of course it has to be in reference to playoff expansion.  Of course.

… For instance, asks one commissioner, do you know what percentage of teams advance to their postseason championship event in an average NCAA sport?

The answer is about 18–25%. In football, that number is 3%.

“A football player has a statistically much lower chance of competing in a postseason tournament than any other athletes,” a committee member says. “That’s worth thinking about.”

Sure, dude.  Pay no attention to those sweet checks Mickey is about to rain down on the P5 conferences.  You’re doing it to raise the hopes of every player who suits up for Vanderbilt!

As we like to point out around here, when they say it’s not about the money…


Filed under BCS/Playoffs, It's All Just Made Up And Flagellant