“It’s not my job to go trawling for hope on behalf of Auburn…”

But this al.com writer will do it anyway.

Auburn, despite everything that has happened over the last few years, has the money and the prestige to hire someone better than Kelly. That’s why Auburn remains one of the top football schools in the country. And, hear me out, what if Auburn and Georgia don’t play every season anymore when the SEC decides on its new scheduling system?

Urban Meyer won a national championship at Florida in his second season. Despite all of Florida’s success with Meyer and Steve Spurrier, Auburn leads the all-time series against the Gators 43-39-2. Auburn is elite, but it’s time to stop fooling around. The transfer portal and NIL collectives can bring Auburn back quickly.

The truth is that Auburn is the equal of Alabama in every way except for one very important reason, and that reason is Nick Saban. Even still, despite Alabama’s unmatched success over the last 15 years, Auburn is only one blown lead in the 2021 Iron Bowl away from leading Alabama in the head-to-head series since 1981. That’s when Pat Dye unlocked the Tigers’ potential and forever changed the dynamics of college football in the SEC.

Since Dye, Auburn has twice won at least four games in a row against Alabama. Tommy Tuberville, of course, won six straight Iron Bowls from 2002 to 2007. Since the 1980s, Alabama, even with Saban, has never won more than three straight against the Tigers.

What does average look like? Alabama’s record in Jordan-Hare Stadium since the first Iron Bowl at Auburn in 1989. It’s 6-11.

And, when it comes to all things Saban, Georgia can also thank Alabama’s coach for help against the Tigers. Saban’s protégé, Kirby Smart, is 6-1 against Auburn, which has allowed the Bulldogs to take a slight lead in the all-time series of the Deep South’s Oldest Rivalry, 62-56-8.

He actually calls Auburn “elite” in the header.  I do not think that word means what he thinks it means.

The Heisman talk you may not have been expecting

Forget Stetson Bennett.  The Athletic has Brock Bowers second in its Heisman straw poll ($$).

Heupel hype

Mike Bianchi overdrive:

Finally, after all these years, tears and crying-in-their-beers, the hype and the hope is real on Rocky Top.

Or should we say the “Heup” and the hope?

As in Tennessee’s Josh Heupel, the man who I believe is the greatest offensive mind in college football and a head coach UCF fans never really appreciated.

Heupel’s high-powered, no-huddle offense dominated Florida’s defense Saturday to lead the 11th-ranked Vols to a closer-than-it-should-have-been 38-33 victory over the 20th-ranked Gators. This was a monumental win for a Tennessee program that has largely been irrelevant since Phil Fulmer was the coach and Peyton Manning was the quarterback a quarter-century ago. The Vols had lost five in a row to the hated Gators, 16 of the last 17.

But on this earth-shaking, ground-breaking Saturday, Heupel’s offense was the difference.

I get that it was a nice win, but, jeez… over the top much?

Today, in overreactions

Dawg fans, you’ll be pleased to know that the SEC cancelling next season’s Georgia-Oklahoma game was the final step in Kirby Smart’s plan for world domination.

Georgia will have the easiest path to a threepeat of any team in the history of sports.

— Danny Kanell (@dannykanell) September 21, 2022

Might as well book those hotel reservations now, peeps.  Time’s a wastin’!

About Stetson

I saw that Bud Elliott was taking some flak in the comments section the other day and was wondering what that was all about, as I think he’s pretty knowledgeable about college football.  Anyway, I did some digging and came across this, which seems like it would make good fodder for a post here:

I suppose some of you could get your hackles up over that, but from my standpoint, it’s amazing that he finds about half the P5, running the systems they already have in place with their current personnel (important distinctions), would take Stetson Bennett over the quarterbacks they have starting now.  A year ago, that number, let’s be honest, would have been zero.

Also, he’s got nothing but love for the job Todd Monken’s doing, and it’s impossible to argue with that.  Monken should have been a Broyles Award nominee last season.  If he’s not one this season, there’s something seriously wrong with the voting.

Montana is keeping the faith.

From today’s Mandel’s Mailbag ($$):

Looking at Chris Vannini’s 1-131 rankings, I don’t think I’d be surprised to see any team from the No. 4 to 15 get beat by a team 25 spots lower. Is there any team outside of Georgia, Alabama and Ohio State that you feel is elite? — Lewis C.

First of all, Georgia is the only team I’m 95 percent certain is “elite,”…

It’s good to be a king.

Hot, hot, hot

You’d think after yesterday’s carnage, folks might want to dial back the absurd, spur of the moment pronouncements, but that not how some in our media roll.

Plaschke: The Trojans are back and might be the nation's best team https://t.co/mdAy7soT8Z

— Los Angeles Times (@latimes) September 11, 2022

If we could somehow convert hot takes into a renewable energy source, we could end our reliance on fossil fuels overnight.

The 12-team CFP, chicken soup for college football’s soul

Jesus, Wetzel, give it a rest.  Next you’ll have it curing cancer.

Gee whiz, you’re dumb.

Shot.

When does Bama or Ohio State play do or die games in current format??? Both given access to playoffs without even winning their division. 🤝 Pate State Southwest material https://t.co/teOucHlMRk

— Danny Kanell (@dannykanell) September 2, 2022

Chaser.

Ohio State AND Alabama each literally played in one 8 months ago

Bama is toast if they lose to UGA in SECCG. They’re also toast the week before if they lose Iron Bowl.

Ohio State WAS toast when they lose to Michigan.

Kanell Community College down BIG https://t.co/vzvL1Ts4Ui

— Josh Pate (@LateKickJosh) September 2, 2022

Even by generic trolling standards, Kanell is one stupid mofo.

TFW you have to go out on a statistical limb to make a rhetorical point

Matt Hayes thinks he’s making an insightful point here.

Bo Nix was a 5-star recruit. Stetson Bennett III was a walk-on, and then a junior college transfer.

There couldn’t be more diametrically opposite ends of the spectrum in the life of a college quarterback, right?

Well, their career numbers are nearly identical.

So when Oregon and Georgia play Saturday in the Mercedes-Benz Stadium in Atlanta, remember that stars aren’t everything.

Nix played 3 seasons at Auburn and was, at best, a decent SEC quarterback: a TD/INT ratio of 39/16, a career completion percentage of 59.4 and an average yards per attempt of just 6.9.

The ball didn’t get down the field and wasn’t accurate. And now he’s the Oregon quarterback.

Meanwhile, we give you the overachiever Bennett: a TD/INT ratio of 39/14, a career completion percentage of 62 and an average yards per attempt of 9.2.

Get that?  “Nearly identical”.  Let’s break that descriptor down a little more, shall we?  Here are Bo Nix’ career stats:

And here are Stetson Bennett’s:

Nearly identical appears to be doing a shit ton of heavy lifting there.  Stetson’s worst season would fit neatly into Bo’s career stats, but that’s about it as far as nearly identical goes.

This is what you get when a pundit is high from sniffing his own farts.  But maybe Matt’s right and we’ll come away from Saturday’s game seeing the two quarterbacks in a different, nearly identical light.