“I think a lot of people think of him as this buffoon figure.”

And, so, friends, it’s come to this:  Mitch Mustain is asked to explain Lane Kiffin.

Hell hath no fury like Mitch Mustain’s mom.

So, I mentioned that Houston Nutt and Gus Malzahn buried the hatchet.  Beck Campbell, whose earlier claim to fame was having a direct hand in short circuiting her son’s once promising football career, would like to take a hatchet of her own and bury it… in Nutt and Malzahn.

“Mitchell was caught in the middle of Gus and Houston. Even if he had been the biggest snot of a kid, and he wasn’t, he didn’t deserve to be treated like that. It all boiled down to the animosity Nutt harbored toward Gus because he was forced to put Gus on staff,” she says. “Mitchell got the brunt of it because he was in a position to be manipulated. They set him up to fail.”

Campbell said she expects Nutt to paint a rosy picture because, “He is a bad man, a bad person.”

She says the feelings of betrayal run deeper with Malzahn because he was a trusted family friend. Malzahn has had opportunities to divulge his side of the story but has stayed tight-lipped. “He told me he was going to take care of Mitchell and not let him get hurt. I trusted [Malzahn],” she says. “It would be like if I took someone’s kids to the beach, and they got sucked in a riptide, and I just walked away, didn’t call the paramedics or anything. Just left.”

Yeah, he “just left”, but asked Mustain to transfer with him and offered him a spot as a grad assistant on his Auburn staff.

I’m just sorry she didn’t follow through on the lawsuit she thought about bringing against Nutt and Broyles.  You know Pork Rind Jimmy would have been on that mother.

“You are witnessing the beginning of what could be the Mitch Mustain era at Arkansas.”

Some era.

Brandon Marcello’s tale of the year Gus Malzahn, Mitch Mustain and Houston Nutt spent together at Arkansas is as good a story as you’ll read, even if there’s no mention of Mitch’s mom, Pork Rind Jimmy or FOIA requests.

The Nuttster comes off as the slippery weasel you’d expect – he’s not human if some of the stuff he claims didn’t affect him really didn’t.  Mustain comes off as an arrogant ass.

Mustain, watching it unfold on a television newscast, couldn’t believe what he was hearing and referred to Nutt as a “dork.”

The comment was included in “Year of the Dog: One Year, One Team, One Goal.”

Mustain maintains today the comments Nutt made were “undoubtedly unprofessional” for a win against an “average” Ole Miss team that provided Arkansas its first SEC win in six tries. The book excerpt leaked prior to a trip to South Carolina, and Mustain said he started hearing rumblings Nutt wasn’t happy with the comment.

Duh, ‘ya think?

Gus comes off much better by comparison, mainly because he’s been smart enough to keep his mouth shut about the whole debacle.  You may not think that’s a big deal, but there are plenty of smart folks who’ve never learned that lesson.

Mitch Mustain likes to shoot things.

Damn, this is just too bizarre for words.

I’d blame it on a college football-related head injury, except he didn’t play enough for that to be a factor.

Mama tried.

You know, it’s funny how every one of Mitch Mustain’s college coaches seemed to have their minds made up on another kid at quarterback.  And if anyone wavered on that front, well, somebody had Mitch’s back:

“Mitch came in after our last game wanting a release,” Nutt said. “I told him no. I believed if Mitch was patient, he could have regained his confidence.”

According to Nutt, after the meeting, he received a call from Beck Campbell, Mustain’s mother.

“Beck called me …and demanded I let Mitch transfer,” Nutt said. “There wasn’t much left I could do.”

And now Mustain wants to join the Marines.  Good luck with that, sport.

One less criminal mastermind to worry about

No doubt you’ll be relieved to hear that Mitch Mustain will avoid misdemeanor charges if he keeps his nose clean for the next year.

Adventures in marketing

About Mitch Mustain’s arrest yesterday – apart from the incredible timing (he was preparing for the NFL draft) of it, what really separates it on the stupidity scale is that he was advertising his services on craigslist.  Epically dumb.

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UPDATE: The story gets even better.  Mustain won’t be charged with a felony because it turns out what he was selling was fake.

Mama tried.

And while we’re on the subject of lexicons, it’s time to realize that “Mustained” needs to become a verb.

Really, this is descending into self-parody.

With USC quarterback Mitch Mustain buried on the depth chart, the junior is considering another way to use his arm to get playing time.

Mustain said he is thinking of becoming a pitcher for the USC baseball team next spring.

“I’ve kind of missed baseball,” Mustain said. “It’s been six years since I played competitively.”

Mustain said he had a 0.90 ERA the last time he pitched in high school and spoke to USC pitching coach Tom House several times about playing baseball.

“I’ll figure it out in the next month,” Mustain said…

… Mustain said he did not anticipate his status with football changing.

“I think I’ve tried everything,” he said. “I’ve done all I could.”