“You are witnessing the beginning of what could be the Mitch Mustain era at Arkansas.”

Some era.

Brandon Marcello’s tale of the year Gus Malzahn, Mitch Mustain and Houston Nutt spent together at Arkansas is as good a story as you’ll read, even if there’s no mention of Mitch’s mom, Pork Rind Jimmy or FOIA requests.

The Nuttster comes off as the slippery weasel you’d expect – he’s not human if some of the stuff he claims didn’t affect him really didn’t.  Mustain comes off as an arrogant ass.

Mustain, watching it unfold on a television newscast, couldn’t believe what he was hearing and referred to Nutt as a “dork.”

The comment was included in “Year of the Dog: One Year, One Team, One Goal.”

Mustain maintains today the comments Nutt made were “undoubtedly unprofessional” for a win against an “average” Ole Miss team that provided Arkansas its first SEC win in six tries. The book excerpt leaked prior to a trip to South Carolina, and Mustain said he started hearing rumblings Nutt wasn’t happy with the comment.

Duh, ‘ya think?

Gus comes off much better by comparison, mainly because he’s been smart enough to keep his mouth shut about the whole debacle.  You may not think that’s a big deal, but there are plenty of smart folks who’ve never learned that lesson.

Mitch Mustain likes to shoot things.

Damn, this is just too bizarre for words.

I’d blame it on a college football-related head injury, except he didn’t play enough for that to be a factor.

Mama tried.

You know, it’s funny how every one of Mitch Mustain’s college coaches seemed to have their minds made up on another kid at quarterback.  And if anyone wavered on that front, well, somebody had Mitch’s back:

“Mitch came in after our last game wanting a release,” Nutt said. “I told him no. I believed if Mitch was patient, he could have regained his confidence.”

According to Nutt, after the meeting, he received a call from Beck Campbell, Mustain’s mother.

“Beck called me …and demanded I let Mitch transfer,” Nutt said. “There wasn’t much left I could do.”

And now Mustain wants to join the Marines.  Good luck with that, sport.

One less criminal mastermind to worry about

No doubt you’ll be relieved to hear that Mitch Mustain will avoid misdemeanor charges if he keeps his nose clean for the next year.

Adventures in marketing

About Mitch Mustain’s arrest yesterday – apart from the incredible timing (he was preparing for the NFL draft) of it, what really separates it on the stupidity scale is that he was advertising his services on craigslist.  Epically dumb.

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UPDATE: The story gets even better.  Mustain won’t be charged with a felony because it turns out what he was selling was fake.

Mama tried.

And while we’re on the subject of lexicons, it’s time to realize that “Mustained” needs to become a verb.

Really, this is descending into self-parody.

With USC quarterback Mitch Mustain buried on the depth chart, the junior is considering another way to use his arm to get playing time.

Mustain said he is thinking of becoming a pitcher for the USC baseball team next spring.

“I’ve kind of missed baseball,” Mustain said. “It’s been six years since I played competitively.”

Mustain said he had a 0.90 ERA the last time he pitched in high school and spoke to USC pitching coach Tom House several times about playing baseball.

“I’ll figure it out in the next month,” Mustain said…

… Mustain said he did not anticipate his status with football changing.

“I think I’ve tried everything,” he said. “I’ve done all I could.”