Category Archives: Political Wankery

Greatest Southern conservative crisis ever?

Boy, now here’s a tough call:  Louisiana’s governor warns his constituents that if state government can’t solve its serious fiscal problems, “… you can say farewell to college football next fall.”

Hey, if that happens, can Kirby Smart have dibs on LSU’s offensive linemen?


Filed under Political Wankery

“This is a game of skill…”

Here’s something that may be worth keeping an eye on:  in a world that’s grown increasingly hostile to the fantasy sports business model, a bill introduced in the Georgia legislature is proposing to swim against the tide.

Unterman called the legislation a “consumer protection” effort, saying an estimated 1.5 million people play daily fantasy sports in Georgia.

Notably, she wrote the bill to differentiate daily fantasy sports from gambling — something Georgia bans other than in lottery games and slot-like machines known as coin-operated amusement machines.

“This is a game of skill, that you are actually following and researching the players and teams, versus just going in and plopping down $3 for a lottery ticket and the computer generates the numbers,” Unterman said…

Okay, you can stop chuckling now.  The idea that fantasy sports is more a game of skill than, say, poker is… well, laughable.

But what I really wonder about here is pretty simple.  With the NCAA and the conferences on the warpath about fantasy sports and their track record for making public gestures, could we be looking at a situation where there are repercussions in states that welcome fantasy sports?  Eh, probably not.

I mean, let’s face it.  Georgia is looking at regulation because there’s a little money in it for the state (

Still, at least for now, we’re in the Bible Belt.  It’ll be interesting to see what happens with the bill and, if it passes and is signed into law, what kind of response it’ll generate.


Filed under College Football, It's Just Bidness, Political Wankery

Not funny, man.

When people say the terrorists hate our way of life and our freedoms, this must be what they’re talking about:

Iowa’s three state universities would be prohibited from cooperating with Stanford University until Stanford officials publicly apologize to Iowans for “unsporting behavior” by the school’s marching band during the Jan. 1 Rose Bowl football game under a bill introduced Wednesday in the Iowa Senate.

Stanford’s football team defeated the University of Iowa 45-16 in the game. In addition, the Stanford band, which has a history of irreverent performances, poked fun during the halftime show with a dancing cow, a frowning farmer formation and other tongue-in-cheek gestures that upset some Iowans. ESPN, which televised the game, cut away from the band’s performance.

State Sen. Mark Chelgren, R-Ottumwa, told The Des Moines Register at the Iowa Capitol on Wednesday that he introduced Senate File 2081 because he believes Stanford officials have condoned improper behavior by the marching band.

Jeez, dude, couldn’t you just give a press conference and be done with it?

The details of his bill are a hoot.

The Iowa legislation would prohibit “certain future collaboration and cooperation” between Stanford and the University of Iowa, Iowa State University and the University of Northern Iowa. However, it would permit sporting events between Stanford and the Iowa universities. In addition, collaborations and contracts already in effect would be exempt from the ban.  [Emphasis added.]

So, the academic and research stuff, the reason these institutions purportedly exist, those relationships would be severed… but the games must go on!  At least he’s got his priorities straight.  And I’m sure political ambition has nothing to do with this sincere gesture… oh, wait.

… Chelgren, who is seeking the Republican nomination to run for Congress in a district that includes the University of Iowa.

Not only is he ambitious, but he’s tone deaf, to boot.  Makes you proud to be an American.


Filed under Political Wankery

You don’t stay rich spending your own money.

Sheldon Adelson proposes building a $1.2 billion domed stadium for UNLV football, requiring a mere two-thirds of the cost to be covered through public funding.

Hey, it never hurts to ask, right?

According the 22-page presentation, legislative action would be required to establish a budget and funding formula for the public financing. Lawmakers would need to authorize creation of a Stadium Authority Board to oversee the 42-acre site.

Enabling legislation for a “fee”-based source of public revenue is required for the $780 million in public money.

Putting fee in quote marks is a nice touch.  They’re dumbasses if they agree to it, but being dumb is what makes politics go ’round, so I wouldn’t bet against it.


Filed under It's Just Bidness, Political Wankery

“Where’s my football team? Get over here, football team.”

University of Iowa officials say they are confident no NCAA rules or university policies were violated when members of the University of Iowa football and wrestling teams joined Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump on stage Tuesday night.

That’s a damned shame.  Trump vs. Emmert would have been fun to watch.


Filed under Political Wankery, The NCAA

If you deplore the wussification of football…

… then you need to vote, my fellow Americans.  Because Donald Trump will make football great again.

After talking about Iraq, he segued onto the topic of the NFL, with playoff games on his mind.

“It’s a Sunday, who the hell wants to watch these crummy games? I just want to watch the end. By the way — okay, let me go there for a second. Let me end that story. So we gave them Iraq, we’re stupid. We’re stupid. I’ll change things. Believe me, I’ll change things. And again, we’re going to be so respected. I don’t want to use the word ‘feared.’ What I just said about a game — so I’m watching a game yesterday. What used to be considered a great tackle, a violent head-on [tackle], a violent — if that was done by Dick Butkus, they’d say he’s the greatest player. If that were done by Lawrence Taylor — it was done by Lawrence Taylor and Dick Butkus and Ray Nitschke, right? Ray Nitschke — you used to see these tackles and it was incredible to watch, right?

“Now they tackle. ‘Oh, head-on-head collision, 15 yards.’ The whole game is all screwed up. You say, ‘Wow, what a tackle.’ Bing. Flag. Football has become soft. Football has become soft. Now, I’ll be criticized for that. They’ll say, ‘Oh, isn’t that terrible.’ But football has become soft like our country has become soft. [Applause] It’s true. It’s true. The outcome of games has been changed by what used to be phenomenal, phenomenal stuff. Now these are rough guys, these are rough guys. These guys — what they’re doing is incredible, but I looked at it and I watched yesterday in particular. So many flags, right? So many flags. And I could imagine a guy like Lawrence Taylor and Dick Butkus, who was really rough, and some of these guys sitting there watching. ‘Wow, what a beautiful tackle.’ ‘Fifteen yards! That’s — the game is over.’ You can’t kick a field goal any more.”

When personal fouls are outlawed, only outlaws will have concussions.  Or something.


Filed under Political Wankery, The Body Is A Temple

Hey, legislators are sports fans, too!

When you see the phrase “include a bunch of loopholes” used to describe a recently passed law, you pretty much know what’s coming next.


Filed under Political Wankery