Category Archives: Political Wankery

Today, in bungled metaphors

Regardless where you find yourself on the political scale, you ought to recognize this as the kind of moronic quote you get from politicians who don’t follow sports closely, but try to act like they do.

Touchback!

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Filed under Political Wankery

Speaking only for themselves

In a unique twist on the old saw about it’s what’s on the front of the jersey that matters, not the back, LSU advises its student-athletes of its support for them to publicly express their opinions regarding the Alton Sterling case — as long as they don’t wear LSU gear or use LSU branding when doing so.

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Filed under Political Wankery, SEC Football

Winning hearts and minds in SEC Country

I’m gonna crawl out on a limb with this thought, but it strikes me that arguing college football ought to be banned to avoid race-mixing probably isn’t the strongest pitch a neo-Nazi can make to an Auburn University audience.

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Filed under Political Wankery, SEC Football

It’s nice to have a hobby.

West Virginia citizens must be relieved to know their state is in such good shape that its governor has plenty of time to strong arm Marshall University into hiring one of his buddies to be its football coach.

Gov. Jim Justice pressured Marshall University leaders in recent months to shake up how the school’s football team is coached, according to a source familiar with the matter.

The governor has sought to oust the head football coach, Doc Holliday, and install his longtime friend and former Herd coach Bobby Pruett, said the source, who requested anonymity.

This time last year, as Justice was campaigning to be the Democratic nominee for governor, Pruett appeared alongside former West Virginia University coach Don Nehlen in a commercial supporting Justice.

“It was not a meeting to say, ‘Fire the coach and hire Pruett,’ ” Justice chief of staff Nick Casey said in a statement Wednesday evening. “It was a meeting to say, ‘Ratchet up your game and do something to get yourself back to greatness.’ ”

Yeah, sure.

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This’ll teach ’em!

Hell hath no fury like a North Carolina legislator forced to back down from political pandering.

One, I can only begin to imagine the howling in the state that would ensue from North Carolina withdrawing from the ACC.  Two, what makes these guys think there’s another P5 conference that would respond any differently if they chose to show their asses again in the future?  Just ask Arkansas how that went…

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Filed under ACC Football, Political Wankery

“If it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t have Nick Saban.”

It sounds like if Tommy Tuberville has decided to run for governor of Alabama, he’s picked an interesting campaign platform for it.

And I thought he’d go for “vote for me if you thought Auburn was robbed in 2004”.

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Filed under Political Wankery, Tommy Tuberville - Mythical National Champ

“… doofuses, goofballs and idiots.”

If this Arkansas legislator should be taken at his word, I would advise you not to make any sudden movements the next time you attend a college football game in that state.

In a bow to those who preferred the bill without these amendments, said he had been assured Razorback Stadium would have all the elements envisioned in State Police-approved security plans for “sensitive areas” granted exemptions from concealed carry accessibility. This would include security staff and magnetometers, he said. “There will also be sniper teams,” he said. He said he was reluctant to go into more detail. “I don’t want to tell potential terrorists and other bad guys more specifics.”

As long as opposing fans aren’t considered bad guys…

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Filed under Political Wankery