Category Archives: The Body Is A Temple

Golden showers

In something straight out of Derek Dooley’s Personal Hygiene 101, evidently this is a real thing for Texas football.

How would you like to be called out for being a bad guy about the color of your urine?  My only remaining question is whether Herman’s got support staffers going around checking the hue of his players’ pee.



Filed under Texas Is Just Better Than You Are., The Body Is A Temple

If size matters…

BREAKING:  Ben Cleveland is a very large human being.

Say what you will about his progress, he’s certainly not stinting any effort in workouts.  Nauta looks pretty buff himself.  Maybe I can buy in a little more to what the new S&C regime is doing… eh, stop that.


Filed under Georgia Football, The Body Is A Temple

I hope this gets assigned to a male judge.

Fellas, I ask you:  who among us has not been there, done that?

Texas A&M sophomore receiver Kirk Merritt has pleaded not guilty to two charges of indecent exposure from last fall.

Merritt has requested a delay of arraignment, which was originally scheduled for earlier this week at the Brazos County Courthouse.

In one count, an alleged victim accused Merritt of exposing and touching himself “while sitting in arm’s reach” of her “on or about” Oct. 24. About a day later according to a court document, another alleged victim claimed Merritt pulled down his shorts and held himself also “while sitting in arm’s reach” of her. The document describes both alleged victims as “offended or alarmed by the act of exposure.”

Both of the victims were tutors at A&M in the Bright Football Complex, two people with knowledge of the case said. Merritt’s attorney Rick Davis responded to the Chronicle on Friday afternoon citing a “bad case of jock itch” as Merritt’s defense.

“Kirk Merritt has been charged with Indecent Exposure under Section 21.08 of the Texas Penal Code because of two incidents during tutoring sessions that happened on two consecutive days,” Davis wrote. “While Kirk is very embarrassed about this situation, and has apologized to the two tutors that he offended, he did not intend to gratify anyone by exposing himself.

“The fact is that Kirk had a bad case of jock itch. The statute Kirk has been accused of violating requires that the Defendant have an intent to arouse or gratify the sexual desire of any person and that the Defendant is reckless about whether another may be present who will be offended or alarmed by his conduct.

“We think that Kirk’s conduct falls squarely under the Disorderly Conduct statute … That statute requires only that a Defendant is reckless about whether another may be present who will be offended or alarmed by his act.”

Scratch as scratch can, I tells ‘ya.

Too bad this kid’s an amateur, because he’s a medicine commercial waiting to happen.


Filed under Crime and Punishment, The Body Is A Temple

State of the art weight training

I’m sorry, but this made me laugh.

Wynn has gained 20 pounds since the offseason began, which included a lot of eating early on. To help add the mass, Wynn was given the green light to eat plenty of sweets, including the decadent items offered at Krispy Kreme and Zombie Coffee and Donuts. At Zombie, Wynn said his go-to was an Oreo donut, with the cookie crumbles stuck to the frosting.

All the money spent on S&C, on dietitians, and when in doubt, the go-to winds up being junk food.  I wonder if I can use that as an excuse the next time my wife tells me I’m putting on weight.


Filed under Georgia Football, The Body Is A Temple

Men, don’t ever change.

Just think what a 16-team college football playoff could do for the vasectomy business.


Filed under The Body Is A Temple

“We don’t have a set standard for what a strength coach should be.”

Willie Taggert’s offseason keeps getting buttah and buttah.

When three Oregon football players were hospitalized in January following a strenuous workout, they were being led by a strength coach certified from a track and field coaches association.

For a $245 fee, the U.S. Track and Field and Cross Country Coaches Association (USTFCCCA) offers a 21-hour strength training course to become a certified NCAA strength coach in any sport. By comparison, the widely-used Collegiate Strength and Conditioning Coaches Association (CSCCA) requires 30 times as much training — a 640-hour certification process.

According to the NCAA, that track certification was all that was needed by Oregon football strength coach Irele Oderinde, who was suspended for one month due to the January workout. But should it be? Four industry experts with more than 100 combined years of experience told CBS Sports they don’t consider Oderinde properly certified to be a football strength coach.

Oregon told CBS Sports that Oderinde and his staff may seek “additional certifications.”

More cowbell!

Florida State All-American safety Myron Rolle believes college football strength coaches need to be held more accountable.

“I’m a neurosurgeon now,” Rolle said. “Imagine if I walked into a patient’s room and I just took an online class to be certified, and I said, ‘I’m going to do your surgery today.’ That patient would say, ‘Get out of my room.’”

Oh, come on, Myron.  The man probably slept in a Holiday Inn Express last night.


Filed under The Body Is A Temple

“The NCAA has changed and it’s a business.”

I doubt this goes anywhere quickly, but two Connecticut legislators have proposed a bill that would create a “athletic protection commission” to monitor and enforce the safety for all NCAA athletes in the state.

As you can probably guess, that isn’t sitting well with the affected parties, who are indignant that anyone would think they need prodding to make sure their student-athletes are tended to properly.

“Do I really think there’s this kind of need? The answer is no,” Fairfield AD Eugene Doris said. “Normally, you hear the nightmare things behind the scenes. I don’t get any sense that student-athletes are in any jeopardy in any way. All of my colleagues, to a person, would be appalled if it happened on their campus and would fire people if they found out something was occurring and not being done correctly.”

Well, color me reassured.

Like I said, this bill’s likely doomed before it gets out of the gate, but add it to the steady drip, drip, drip of concern regarding players’ health.  Guys like Doris would be wise to get ahead of things, but that would require thinking ahead, which isn’t a strong suit for most athletic directors.

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Filed under Political Wankery, The Body Is A Temple