Ladies and gentlemen, behold great minds at work:
For some reason, Tuberville professes to be shocked to learn about the existence of bag men in college football. Considering where he came from, that’s pretty fucking rich.
Category Archives: Tommy Tuberville – Mythical National Champ
Siri, what is desperation?
When you’ve hit the “Save us, Obi Wan Tuberville, you’re our only hope” stage of NIL regulation, that’s pretty much the textbook definition.
The Power 5 conference commissioners say boosters are inducing high school and transfer athletes to attend their affiliated universities with “payments inaccurately labeled as NIL,” and they are encouraging Congress to make such actions illegal.
In a two-page letter obtained by Sports Illustrated and sent to Sens. Tommy Tuberville (R-Ala.) and Joe Manchin (D-WV), the most powerful officials in the sport outlined how they believe NIL, or name, image and likeness, is being abused by donors and donor-led collectives across the country. The letter is in response to Tuberville and Manchin seeking feedback from stakeholders on the evolution of athlete compensation through NIL. Earlier this month, the senators announced that they plan to draft an NIL-related bill.
Suffice to say I don’t expect this to end particularly well.
“I’ve talked to all my [coaching] buddies.”
Tubs, to the rescue!
You’ve got to admit a man who famously jumped ship from a school during a lunch with recruits ought to be an expert on free-for-alls.
Yeah, this is going to end well.
There’s chutzpah, and then…
… there’s this guy.
Tubs is certainly an expert on going to bigger schools to make more money.
His first head coaching job came at Ole Miss. In 1998, he said that he would die as the school’s head coach, famously declaring on his radio show that “they’ll have to carry me out of here in a pine box.” Two days later, Tuberville left to take the head job at Auburn. A New York Times article from 2000 detailed how he left “without saying goodbye to his football team,” and his former players at the school have reflected on how they felt wronged by the move. “He addressed the whole team, saying he wasn’t going anywhere, and that he’s going to be a part of Ole Miss for a long time,” former lineman Ben Claxton said. “The next morning my mom woke me up and told me to turn it to SportsCenter. He was getting off a plane with an Auburn hat. It felt like a slap in the face.” Fans printed shirts featuring Tuberville’s face and the words “Liar, Liar” on them.
Decades later, the pine box comment still gets brought up routinely. When asked about it on a radio show in 2019, Tuberville said that Ole Miss was not willing to commit to him and his staff financially. Yet this explanation doesn’t align with his previous response to a similar question. When asked about the comment during a 2013 deposition over the hedge fund fraud, Tuberville said, “I can’t remember that.”
Tuberville left Auburn in 2008. This time, his resignation was to the point. “After long consideration, I have decided to resign,” Tuberville wrote in a two-paragraph letter to the school. “I understand that, notwithstanding my resignation, the University will make a total payment of $5,083,334 as outlined in Section 21 of my contract.” Such a demand was unheard of then, and would be unheard of now. Coaching buyouts are reserved for those who get fired, yet Tuberville somehow finagled it so that he quit and got Auburn to pay him millions. Auburn athletic director Jay Jacobs said that Tuberville’s departure was “completely his decision” and that he and the school president asked Tuberville to reconsider three times. Yet they ultimately paid Tuberville his buyout because, according to Jacobs, it was “the right thing to do.”
… Tuberville left Texas Tech in 2012. He famously sneaked out of a dinner with recruits so that he could accept a job at Cincinnati. “The waitress brought our food out, and we thought he went to the bathroom,” said Devonte Danzey, who was considering Tech but later committed to Auburn. “The next day, [Tuberville] announced he was going to Cincinnati.” The coach’s abrupt exit shocked Texas Tech players. “Never felt more anger in my life,” tweeted tight end Jace Amaro. “Can’t believe what just happened,” wrote safety Cody Davis. As at previous stops, Tuberville’s athletic director was stunned by the news. “As recently as yesterday [Tuberville] looked me in the eye and gave me his commitment and dedication to Texas Tech football,” Kirby Hocutt told reporters in 2012.
Dude may be the least self-aware human being in America.
Plus, this:
Whoa, oh, Alabama
I’m sorry, but if this doesn’t make you laugh, there’s something wrong.
You know the old saying that we get the politicians we deserve? Tubs looks like the exception that proves the rule.
The greatest sports analogy of my lifetime
Shot.
Chaser.
Tuberville’s greatest hits
Or, should I say, quits.
That’s how you ream out the man.
Meanwhile, in Alabama…
Alabama Democrats, still riding Tubs’ ass, with a touch of Saban added:
You know, they have a point. Auburn’s usually at its best when nobody takes them seriously, and vice versa.
Today, in Tubs love
Alabama Democrats, you magnificent bastards, I read your tweets!
You’ve outdone yourselves with this one.
![Screenshot_2020-07-28 Alabama Democrats on Twitter We are informed this graphic is inauthentic Also, getting worked by Regg[...]](https://blutarsky.files.wordpress.com/2020/07/screenshot_2020-07-28-alabama-democrats-on-twitter-we-are-informed-this-graphic-is-inauthentic-also-getting-worked-by-regg....png?w=500)
I am Senator Blutarsky and I approve this message.
Meanwhile, in Alabama
Tommy Tuberville’s college coaching career remains fair game.
![Screenshot_2020-07-23 Alabama Democrats on Twitter Two-Faced Tommy is tweeting about OUR Senate seat Which is weird, becaus[...]](https://blutarsky.files.wordpress.com/2020/07/screenshot_2020-07-23-alabama-democrats-on-twitter-two-faced-tommy-is-tweeting-about-our-senate-seat-which-is-weird-becaus....png?w=500)
It’s a target rich environment.
Get The Picture 
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