Meanwhile, in Alabama…

Alabama Democrats, still riding Tubs’ ass, with a touch of Saban added:

Let's talk about polls for a second. Tubs was consensus top 5 in the 2003 preseason polls, lost his first two games (scored 3 points total), and ended up in the Music City Bowl.

So y'all focus on that rat poison all you want. We'll outwork yesterday. https://t.co/CXHC0NJKGr

— Alabama Democrats (@aldemocrats) August 4, 2020

You know, they have a point.  Auburn’s usually at its best when nobody takes them seriously, and vice versa.

Today, in Tubs love

Alabama Democrats, you magnificent bastards, I read your tweets!

You’ve outdone yourselves with this one.

I am Senator Blutarsky and I approve this message.

Meanwhile, in Alabama

Tommy Tuberville’s college coaching career remains fair game.

It’s a target rich environment.

Tuberville’s greatest hits

Alabama Democrats are en fuego about the Republican nominee for the US Senate.  Check out some of this bitch slapping:

You gotta love leading with the Iron Bowl.  That’s knowing your audience.

And that’s the stuff I thought Sessions would fling.  It stings.  And for the coup de grace…

“He also lost to Vanderbilt.”  Brutal.

Sounds like this could be real fun.

************************************************************************

UPDATE:

It’s funny ’cause it’s true.

************************************************************************

UPDATE #2:  Er’rybody’s dunking on Tubs now.

Roll Tahd!

Shot.

Chaser.

It’ll never happen, but I wonder what effect it would have on the general election vote if Saban came out and endorsed Jones.  Or, just for yuks, on Tubs’ campaign, for that matter.

In Alabama, it’s always football season.

Even when it’s election season.  Massive burn attempt here:

Loser!

Oh, and speaking of Trump…

That ought to win him a few votes in Tuscaloosa.

Whoever said we get the politicians we deserve had a gift for understatement.

[Ed. note:  it bears repeating — don’t take the comment thread off track, please.  The Playpen is only a day away.]

***************************************************************************

UPDATE:

What a time to be alive, eh?

Tubberville gone Tubberville.

A man who has bullshitted his way through head coach job after head coach job has now turned his talent towards voters.

SCOOP: Despite claiming he voted and supported Trump, Tommy Tuberville's voter registration was cancelled in August 2016 due to inactivity… he had registered in the state of Indiana but never voted there, so they kicked him off the voter rolls. pic.twitter.com/X1bSH5N6xT

— Ryan James Girdusky (@RyanGirdusky) July 10, 2020

In fact, Tommy Tuberville did not vote in 2010, 2012, 2014, or 2016 according to documents from the Alabama Secretary of State and Walton County Florida Supervisor Election

— Ryan James Girdusky (@RyanGirdusky) July 10, 2020

Tuberville has claimed on at least eight radio interviews that he voted for Trump in the 2016 election… but it's very clear by the documents that it's impossible and he lied to voters.

— Ryan James Girdusky (@RyanGirdusky) July 10, 2020

Gotta give the man credit for consistency.

TFW “it just means more” catches up to your political ambitions

This is flat out nasty.

When Clifton Robinson, the short but quick receiver from Naples, Florida, returned to the Auburn University football team in August 1999 after pleading guilty to contributing to the delinquency of a minor to avoid going to trial after being charged with the second-degree rape of a 15-year-old girl, first-year head coach Tommy Tuberville pledged to figure out the right punishment for him.

“Clifton is back on the team,” Tuberville said. “He and I will sit down today, and I’ll tell him that we do things right around here, so he can expect there will be some punishment. What it is, I don’t know yet.”

That punishment ended up being a mere one-game suspension from the team’s Sept. 4 season opener against Appalachian State. Auburn won 22-15.

Tuberville, now running for the Republican Senate nomination in Alabama with the endorsement of President Trump, is locked in a competitive primary against former Attorney General Jeff Sessions. The winner will face Democratic incumbent Doug Jones. The Tuberville campaign declined to comment on this story.

Bold strategy, Cotton.  Let’s see if it pays off…

Tuberville’s past will indelibly be linked to the case of Roy Moore, who, as a Senate candidate for the special election in 2017, faced serious, credible allegations of sexual impropriety and predatory behavior with teenage girls as young as 14 while he was in his early 30s.

If Tuberville wants to build trust with the people of Alabama and govern from a position of moral authority on what’s right and wrong, he needs to be transparent and explain his past actions.

Hoo, boy.  It’s a good thing Tubs never pissed off anyone during his college coaching career.

Losering

I’m sorry, but there’s a special place in my heart for Tommy Tuberville mockery, and this certainly qualifies.

I guess he can’t count on one vote.

In Birmingham, they love the Senator.

Politically speaking, I don’t have a dog in the hunt that is the Alabama Republican primary for the US Senate, which doesn’t mean I can’t take all kinds of pleasure from this exchange, coming after Jeff Sessions called for a series of debates with Tommy Tuberville:

 

Statement from Tommy Tuberville is, uh, blunt: "If coaching taught me anything, it's that you don't let the losing team dictate the game when you're sitting on a lead." #alpolitics https://t.co/jG5lg2n8mT

— Brian Lyman (@lyman_brian) May 26, 2020

 

If watching you coach taught me anything @TTuberville, it’s that you’re no good at sitting on a lead. That’s why you finished 5-7 and 4-8 in your last seasons at Auburn and Cincinnati. If you are too weak to debate, you do not deserve to represent the people of Alabama. https://t.co/3Jdt8XC2mG

— Jeff Sessions (@jeffsessions) May 26, 2020

Kudos to Sessions’ research staff, but, guys, you’ve just scratched the surface there.  How about a video series of interviews with folks at Ole Miss and the Texas Tech recruits Tubs blew off during lunch after he learned he got the Cinci job?  (“Alabama voters, if he’ll do it to them, he’ll do it to you, too!”)

And if y’all can’t find a way to mock Tuberville over this…

… you need to go back to snark school.  The man’s a walking advertisement for bullshit.

Get crackin’, fellas!  Time’s a wastin’.  Entertain us.