Category Archives: Tommy Tuberville – Mythical National Champ

Meanwhile, in Alabama…

Alabama Democrats, still riding Tubs’ ass, with a touch of Saban added:

You know, they have a point.ย  Auburn’s usually at its best when nobody takes them seriously, and vice versa.

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Filed under Tommy Tuberville - Mythical National Champ

Today, in Tubs love

Alabama Democrats, you magnificent bastards, I read your tweets!

You’ve outdone yourselves with this one.

Screenshot_2020-07-28 Alabama Democrats on Twitter We are informed this graphic is inauthentic Also, getting worked by Regg[...]

I am Senator Blutarsky and I approve this message.

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Filed under Political Wankery, Tommy Tuberville - Mythical National Champ

Meanwhile, in Alabama

Tommy Tuberville’s college coaching career remains fair game.

Screenshot_2020-07-23 Alabama Democrats on Twitter Two-Faced Tommy is tweeting about OUR Senate seat Which is weird, becaus[...]

It’s a target rich environment.

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Tuberville’s greatest hits

Alabama Democrats are en fuego about the Republican nominee for the US Senate.ย  Check out some of this bitch slapping:

Screenshot_2020-07-15 (1) ๐•ค๐•ฅ๐•–๐•–๐•๐•ช ๐••๐•’๐•• on Twitter Holy SHIT https t co SlztuxewtY Twitter

You gotta love leading with the Iron Bowl.ย  That’s knowing your audience.

Screenshot_2020-07-15 (1) ๐•ค๐•ฅ๐•–๐•–๐•๐•ช ๐••๐•’๐•• on Twitter Holy SHIT https t co SlztuxewtY Twitter(1)

And that’s the stuff I thought Sessions would fling.ย  It stings.ย  And for the coup de grace…

Screenshot_2020-07-15 (1) ๐•ค๐•ฅ๐•–๐•–๐•๐•ช ๐••๐•’๐•• on Twitter Holy SHIT https t co SlztuxewtY Twitter(2)

“He also lost to Vanderbilt.”ย  Brutal.

Sounds like this could be real fun.

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UPDATE:

Screenshot_2020-07-15 Alabama Democrats on Twitter We'd tell you the most accurate recent polling we've seen has Doug tied [...]

It’s funny ’cause it’s true.

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UPDATE #2:ย  Er’rybody’s dunking on Tubs now.

Screenshot_2020-07-15 This is fine on Twitter While we appreciate the congrats on beating Tommy Tuberville, that Vanderbilt[...]

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Filed under Tommy Tuberville - Mythical National Champ

Roll Tahd!

Shot.

Screenshot_2020-07-15 Jason Isbell on Twitter Alabama fans, now is your chance for revenge Twitter

Chaser.

Screenshot_2020-07-15 Jared Lovering ๐Ÿ˜ท on Twitter EmilyMi86620303 JasonIsbell Doug Jones should have legally changed his n[...]

It’ll never happen, but I wonder what effect it would have on the general election vote if Saban came out and endorsed Jones.ย  Or, just for yuks, on Tubs’ campaign, for that matter.

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Filed under Alabama, Nick Saban Rules, Political Wankery, Tommy Tuberville - Mythical National Champ

In Alabama, it’s always football season.

Even when it’s election season.ย  Massive burn attempt here:

Screenshot_2020-07-14 Kaitlan Collins on Twitter This is a 65-year-old former football coach who finished 4-8 at Cincinnati[...]

Loser!

Oh, and speaking of Trump…

Screenshot_2020-07-14 Kaitlan Collins on Twitter Lou Saban โ€œReally successful coach,โ€ Trump said, speaking of Tuberville โ€œB[...]

That ought to win him a few votes in Tuscaloosa.

Whoever said we get the politicians we deserve had a gift for understatement.

[Ed. note:ย  it bears repeating — don’t take the comment thread off track, please.ย  The Playpen is only a day away.]

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UPDATE:

Screenshot_2020-07-14 Jon Solomon on Twitter Imagine if you were told in 2008 after Auburnโ€™s epic 3-2 win over Mississippi [...]

What a time to be alive, eh?

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Filed under Alabama, Political Wankery, Tommy Tuberville - Mythical National Champ

Tubberville gone Tubberville.

A man who has bullshitted his way through head coach job after head coach job has now turned his talent towards voters.

Gotta give the man credit for consistency.

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Filed under It's All Just Made Up And Flagellant, Tommy Tuberville - Mythical National Champ

TFW “it just means more” catches up to your political ambitions

This is flat out nasty.

When Clifton Robinson, the short but quick receiver from Naples, Florida, returned to the Auburn University football team in August 1999 after pleading guilty to contributing to the delinquency of a minor to avoid going to trial after being charged with the second-degree rape of a 15-year-old girl, first-year head coach Tommy Tuberville pledged to figure out the right punishment for him.

“Clifton is back on the team,”ย Tuberville said. “He and I will sit down today, and I’ll tell him that we do things right around here, so he can expect there will be some punishment. What it is, I don’t know yet.”

That punishment ended up being a mereย one-game suspensionย from the team’s Sept. 4 season opener against Appalachian State. Auburn won 22-15.

Tuberville, now running for the Republican Senate nomination in Alabama with the endorsement of President Trump, is locked in a competitive primary against former Attorney General Jeff Sessions. The winner will face Democratic incumbent Doug Jones. The Tuberville campaign declined to comment on this story.

Bold strategy, Cotton.ย  Let’s see if it pays off…

Tuberville’s past will indelibly be linked to the case of Roy Moore, who, as a Senate candidate for the special election in 2017, facedย serious, credible allegationsย of sexual impropriety and predatory behavior with teenage girls as young as 14 while he was in his early 30s.

If Tuberville wants to build trust with the people of Alabama and govern from a position of moral authority on what’s right and wrong, he needs to be transparent and explain his past actions.

Hoo, boy.ย  It’s a good thing Tubs never pissed off anyone during his college coaching career.

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Losering

I’m sorry, but there’s a special place in my heart for Tommy Tuberville mockery, and this certainly qualifies.

Screenshot_2020-06-23 Home Twitter

I guess he can’t count on one vote.

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Filed under Alabama, Tommy Tuberville - Mythical National Champ

In Birmingham, they love the Senator.

Politically speaking, I don’t have a dog in the hunt that is the Alabama Republican primary for the US Senate, which doesn’t mean I can’t take all kinds of pleasure from this exchange, coming after Jeff Sessions called for a series of debates with Tommy Tuberville:

 

 

Kudos to Sessions’ research staff, but, guys, you’ve just scratched the surface there.ย  How about a video series of interviews with folks at Ole Miss and the Texas Tech recruits Tubs blew off during lunch after he learned he got the Cinci job?ย  (“Alabama voters, if he’ll do it to them, he’ll do it to you, too!”)

And if y’all can’t find a way to mock Tuberville over this…

18-600x574-1

… you need to go back to snark school.ย  The man’s a walking advertisement for bullshit.

Get crackin’, fellas!ย  Time’s a wastin’.ย  Entertain us.

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Filed under Alabama, Political Wankery, Tommy Tuberville - Mythical National Champ