Tommy Tuberville’s wet dream

Auburn is contemplating claiming a national title for its 2004 team.

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UPDATE:  Bruce Feldman has a point.

What next? Does Utah also get to claim a national title in 2004 since the Utes won a BCS Bowl in a blowout, were undefeated that year and didn’t have players who went on HBO RealSports and said they received extra benefits as some Tiger players from that team later did?

Corch couldn’t have said that any better himself.

Tommy Tuberville wants you!

The tricky part is figuring out between the recruits he’s running out on from dinner at his old school and the recruits he’s running off from his new school who you is, exactly.

The world’s longest bathroom break

Best Tuberville recruiting story EVAH:

Shortly after arriving in Lubbock, Danzey and at least two other recruits — lineman Sunny Odogwu and receiver Javess Blue — along with “eight to 10” coaches, including Tuberville, all went to dinner at the 50-Yard Line Restaurant on South Loop 289, Danzey said.

In the midst of the conversation at the table, he asked the coaches how long they expected to be at Tech (if they were not fired), he said.

“I asked Coach (Charlie) Weis at KU and Coach (Dana) Holgorsen at West Virginia (the same question), just so I know my relationship with them,” Danzey said. “(Tuberville) was just telling me he coached at Miami and Auburn, he coached 10 years and recruited Ray Lewis and kind of blew the question off I didn’t even realize.”

He added: “The waitress brought our food out, and we thought (Tuberville) went to the bathroom, but he never came back to dinner. Then next thing I know, the next day, he made an announcement that he’s going to Cincinnati.”

Funny how Ole Miss never entered the conversation.  Of course, maybe he really had to go.

The best thing would be if he called the kid to try to talk him into a trip to Cinci.

The last disillusioned man in Lubbock, Texas

Texas Tech’s AD haz a sad.

Texas Tech athletics director Kirby Hocutt was stunned when Tuberville called to tell him he was leaving.

“The first indication I got was at 10:32 this morning when he called me,” Hocutt said. “Tommy and I have talked a number of times since the conclusion of the Baylor game this year, and as recently as yesterday he looked me in the eye and gave me his commitment and dedication to Texas Tech football and leading this program forward.”

Well, that worked at Ole Miss, pine box and all.  The man is consistent.

Besides, it’s hard to feel sorry for a guy whining about loyalty who works at the same institution that shitcanned Mike Leach the day before he was scheduled to earn an $800,000 retention bonus.

Here’s something you don’t see every day.

How bad did Tommy Tuberville want out of Lubbock, Texas?  This bad.

Slap him upside the head

The irony of this happening at Texas Tech shouldn’t be lost on anyone.

And Tuberville’s explanation was as lame as they come.

Thursday morning buffet

As the working week heads towards another close, here are some things to digest:

• Michael Elkon hits on where I stand with Tony Barnhart’s pronouncements, namely that’s it’s hard to tell where the reporter ends and the player starts.
• Boy, did Cal whiff badly on its athletic endowment plans.
• Here’s some more shit Nick Saban doesn’t have time for.
• Shakin the Southland expands on its recruiting cycles comparison.  Georgia comes out about as you’d expect – good on quality and a little short on quantity.
• And here’s a look at how the recruiting services do in terms of success and bias.
• Spurrier and Tuberville, together.  (I wonder if Tubs responded to Spurrier’s question with the advice he once gave Richt about running the ball in the SEC.  Probably not.)
• If you’re looking for the odds on making the SECCG, here you go.

Thursday morning buffet

Rise and shine, campers.

• Looking to learn a little about Georgia’s first SEC opponent this coming season?  Seth Emerson gets some answers out of a Missouri beat writer for you.
• Speaking of Missouri, Gary Pinkel is a little bit of a dreamer.
• No doubt you’ll be surprised to learn that no progress was made yesterday on the SEC scheduling front.
• You know, this might work:  “Greg McGarity suggested last week on Barnhart and Durham on WQXI 790 The Zone in Atlanta that the conference could play six divisional games, one permanent cross-division game and then rotate single cross-division games on a six-year cycle.”  It has the virtue of saving the big rivalry games.  As for the rest, TV would be fine with it, even if it’s not any better for the fans attending games.
• Alamo Bowl official thinks there’s nothing wrong with bowl ratings that the calendar and avoiding a rematch in the title game can’t fix.
• What is it with Texas Tech head coaches and lawsuits?
• Given that Obama has reiterated his support for a college football playoff, I guess we can expect the Republican party to come out strongly against it any minute now.
• Here’s a little something I bet you didn’t know about the Butler family:  “Dad was called ‘Butthead,’ ” the younger Butler said, with obvious pride. “Everybody just calls me ‘Butt.’ I don’t know what the deal is with that. But it’s just Butt for me.”  Beavis was already taken, I suppose.

Friday morning buffet

There’s always something tasty in the world of college football.

• Paul Myerberg notes that there may be one weekend that proves to be the exception to the adage that you don’t plan a wedding in the South on a fall weekend:  “… Nov. 17, when the [SEC] will feature more than twice as many games against F.C.S. competition, seven, as it does actual conference games, three.”
• For those who thought Tommy Tuberville would be a step up from Mike Leach in the recruiting department, it turns out that Texas Tech brought in seven JUCO early enrollees with its most recent class.
• Something to keep an eye on, playoff fans:  pay options begin to creep back into viewing March Madness.
• And Texas asks for patience with the Longhorn Network.
• Sally Jenkins’ Captain Queeg analogy for Randy Edsall is pretty awesome.  (Although I wish she could have worked the strawberries in there, somehow.)
• Will Dorial Green-Beckham be a bigger challenge for Georgia now?
• This comes as absolutely no surprise to me:  “When he secured a coveted spot on an all-star game roster reportedly assembled by “the (2006) U.S. Army All-American Bowl Selection Team made up of Tom Lemming of CSTV and representatives of Scout.com“, Adam James had no Division I scholarship offers and 14 receptions in 10 games as a tight end playing in the state’s second-lowest (2A) Texas high school football classification.”

Hello, I must be going.

Is there any career path on the planet that has a shorter shelf life than being one of Tommy Tuberville’s coordinators?