Chip chips Corch.

Writing about the ESPN story polling coaches about which head coach they’d want their sons to play for, the AJ-C’s Chip Towers lays the snarky wood upside Urban Meyer’s head with this:

Ohio State’s Urban Meyer received 4 percent of the votes, thus ruining the integrity of the poll.

I didn’t know beat writers got that sarcastically personal.

Of course, it may be that Towers ignored the possibility that four percent of the respondents were concerned their sons would get in trouble with the law sometime during their college careers and appreciate a safe haven.

The Seat 37F threat is alive and well.

If there’s one thing you can count on Corch for, it’s bullying members of the media over really stupid stuff.

The outrage of fifth place

You gotta love Corch.  He’s never happy.

The voice rose up from the state of Florida eight years ago and cut deep into Big Ten country, where there existed a clamor for a historic rematch.

The voice rang with outrage against the idea that Ohio State and Michigan should play again in the Bowl Championship Series title game after the No. 1 Buckeyes had defeated the No. 2 Wolverines 42-39 in the regular-season finale in 2006.

The voice so contrarian to Midwestern wishes belonged to Urban Meyer, then coach of the Florida Gators.

“If that (rematch) does happen, all the presidents need to get together immediately and put together a playoff system. I mean like now,” Meyer said.

Welp, now he’s got one.  Problem solved, right?  Uh…

“I think I like it,” Meyer said. “It’s good for the fans. It’s good for college football. But there are still a lot of concerns.”

Meyer is worried about fatigue for participants and the financial strain placed upon a school’s fans and players’ families, who might have to travel to a league championship game and possibly two more postseason games within a month.

Oh, bullshit.  He won’t say what he’s really concerned about.  But Mark Dantonio will.

“Certainly the fifth team is going to feel a little bit left out,” Michigan State coach Mark Dantonio said.

I don’t know about you, but I know which program I’m rooting for to finish just out of the money this season.

Gator haterz

Shelley Meyer is tired of those mean message board people.

“Well, what I learned was that Florida fans, there’s a lot of them and people want to brag on their team,” she told the website. “They want to be able to brag on their team. Now, when we first went down there and we were winning and we were winning those national championships, Urban was the best thing ever.”

And now?

“But here is my perception (about Florida fans): I think they feel like they were kind of left at the altar. They feel a betrayal, even though they were so mad at him about how our last season (2010) went. You can’t please them…

“… So, the people who are critical of us, it’s not the people who know us. It’s the people who aren’t even around the program. They just want their team to win, and whoever can get their team to win, that’s who they’re for. And if you can’t do it or if you left them, then they’ll hate you.”

In other words, Gator fans, you shouldn’t take things so personally.  Because you know Coach “Seat 37F” never did.

The vacay must be over…

… ’cause Corch is back to business.

Urban Meyer dismissed Tracy Sprinkle from the Ohio State football team on Monday after the defensive lineman was arrested over the weekend and charged with cocaine possession after a bar brawl in Lorain.

But don’t get too excited about a transfer just yet, Plainsfolk.  Urban’s keeping his options open.

Now he is completely off the team, though a team spokesman said that Sprinkle’s status could be looked at again depending on the outcome of his legal issues.

Meyer followed a similar path in 2012 with linebacker Storm Klein. He was dismissed from the team that summer after facing a charge of domestic violence and assault. Klein later pleaded to a lesser charge of disorderly conduct and rejoined the team and did play that season.

Here’s Ohio State’s 2014 schedule.  I’ll let you do the math.

How hard is it to pick up the phone, Corch?

“On vacation”?  Seriously?  Shoot, if this had happened in Gainesville, Huntley Johnson would have worked out a deal with the state’s attorney by now.

(h/t)

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UPDATE:  Damn, this just keeps getting better and better.

Police were called to respond to a “large fight in progress” at the Grown & Sexy Lounge in Lorain, Ohio, according to Cleveland.com. Sprinkle was reportedly one of an estimated 50 people outside the bar when police arrived. According to the police report, several groups of people were fighting outside the lounge as police arrived on the scene. Sprinkle is accused of participating in the fighting, for which he was arrested and taken away in custody.

Police found two small bags of cocaine stuffed under the back seat after Sprinkle was removed from the police vehicle.

Hiding cocaine in the back of a police car?  Genius.

The “Grown & Sexy Lounge” sounds like a place in the top 1% of the top 1% of America’s watering holes.

‘Have you ever tried to reason with a wild animal?’

Corch goes to a weird place to defend his call of the 2008 Gator squad as the best college football team of all time.

“… Think about what I just said. You try to reason with a wild animal, you can’t reason with a wild animal. Have you ever tried to negotiate, evaluate, take a play off? If you’re a wild animal that doesn’t happen.”

Either that, or he’s trying to explain Aaron Hernandez.