Thanks, Tuscaloosa.

SB Nation surveyed schools about how much they pay for outside police security and discovered that Alabama doesn’t pay one red cent.  No doubt Greg McGarity is jealous.  But, pity the poor schools, man:

“[Alabama’s athletic department] is in the event management business,” athletic director Bill Battle said Wednesday at the IMG Intercollegiate Athletics Forum in New York City. “We participate in about 400 events a year. We host about 200. Sometimes we have 150,000 people come to Tuscaloosa for a football game to sit in 101,000 seats. That’s a challenge in a lot of different ways, but that’s a great thing.

“But even when you have a successful football program, our [football] business generates about 80 percent of what our mission is,” with that mission defined as being “to develop and graduate student-athletes into good people.”

“If we want to truly accomplish our mission for all 500 of our student-athletes, it takes a lot of money to do that,” Battle said. “Nobody is pocketing a lot of money. Not many [schools] are making ends meet.”

The ones that do are doing so with a vengeance, though.

The odd couple

I’d like to be a fly on the wall in this office.

Kirby Smart says he will start Tuesday back at Alabama…said he and Jeremy Pruitt will probably be sharing an office..has no issues

— Anthony Dasher (@AnthonyDasher1) December 14, 2015

“I’d let Kirby go.”

If Alabama doesn’t win the national championship next month, I wonder if Gene Stallings has provided the template for Tide regret with this:

“If I were Alabama, as long as they have (Alabama head coach Nick) Saban, defensively, they are going to be fine,” Stallings told The Opening Kickoff on WNSP-FM 105.5 in Mobile, Alabama. “I’d let Kirby go. He works to get a head coaching job. He’s got it. He can be there physically, but mentally, he’s putting his (Georgia) staff together. He’s recruiting. … You might as well let him go.”

Stallings said his 1996 Alabama team was in a similar situation. Stallings announced his retirement after a 24-23 win over Auburn in the Iron Bowl.

“It happened to me when I was at Alabama,” Stallings explained. It’s not a matter of leaving but when they announced it. Mike DuBose, who was on my staff, was going to replace me. I asked the president not announce it until after the championship game. He announced it on like Monday or Tuesday. … Well, Mike was excited about getting the position. He was concerned about putting his staff together and what he was going to do, so I don’t think we did a very good job, defensively, in that particular game.”

The Crimson Tide lost to then-No. 4 Florida 45-30.

Damned if you go; damned if you stay.

A day late and $795000 short

Harvey Updyke’s not doing too well with those restitution payments to Auburn.

What is the opposite of the Georgia Way?

Alabama Football Inc.

What do I mean by that?

In the last decade, enrollment has increased by more than 55 percent, to a record 37,100 students this fall, and more than half of the students now are from out of state, another seismic shift. The acceptance rate in the last decade fell to 54 percent, from 72 percent. This year, 2,261 freshmen are enrolled in its Honors College, two and half times the number 10 years ago. Its 174 National Merit and National Achievement finalists rank Alabama among the top five public universities.

“Just like Nick Saban has recruited five-star athletes, the university is going after the best and brightest students,” said Calvin Brown, Alabama’s director of alumni affairs. “We understand that there are young people out there who first view us, or any other institution, through the window of athletics.”

I’m not defending it, but if you think that’s an attitude that’s ever going to permeate Athens, Georgia, I’ve still got some lovely oceanfront property in Hahira I can let you have at a good price.

Roll, Bride.

Here’s a good argument for not getting married in the fall.

Congrats to Chip and Carrie. pic.twitter.com/vD44sL4Kwe

— Michael Spencer (@WATEMichael) October 24, 2015

Nothin’ says Alabama football wedding like a boot-wearin’ bride.  And maid of honor.

This is a legit wedding. pic.twitter.com/1yCP1jJkmH

— Michael Spencer (@WATEMichael) October 24, 2015

Or a wedding guest wearing a Speedo.

@WATEMichael Dude. pic.twitter.com/PYTkC2YoCv

— We're From Tennessee (@LoneNutVolFan) October 24, 2015

Nice.  And they’ll have these memories to share for the rest of their lives.

It’s not just life with Saban.

Any way you want to shake this, it’s a pretty impressive consistency.

If Alabama loses at Georgia, the Crimson Tide will be 0-2 in SEC play for the first time since 1990, when Tide lost to Florida & UGA.

— David Paschall (@DavidSPaschall) September 28, 2015

Again, it’s stuff like this that makes me chuckle over the “You know Saban’s gonna play the underdog card to motivate his team” talk.  He’s got bigger issues to focus on than what Vegas thinks.

Head-to-head

If there’s anyone out there who’s qualified to make Alabama-Georgia comparisons, it’s Louisiana-Monroe, the team that’s played both programs.

Safety Tre’ Hunter and receiver Ajalen Holley were concise when scouting both SEC teams’ strengths.

“Alabama is a little bit more versatile, as in the pass game is outside of the box,” Hunter said of the Tide offense. “Georgia is light inside of the box. Alabama can spread you out. Playing in space is always hard. For skilled guys and linemen, playing in space is always hard. There is a bit more to think about than gearing up for box plays.”

Of Georgia’s 1,965 total yards, 52.4 percent have come in the running game. The majority of Alabama’s 1,840 total yards have come through the air. That ratio is 60:40 through four games. Hunter was impressed with Georgia’s between-the-tackles approach led by Nick Chubb’s 71 carries, 599 yards (8.4 average) and six touchdowns.

“They’re awesome,” Hunter said. “That’s what they do. They’re both pretty accustomed to what they know how to do.”

Holley took a deep breath when asked to compare the defenses of Alabama and Georgia. Answers don’t get more specific.

“Alabama’s defense is a lot bigger,” he said. “Georgia’s defense is a lot faster. That’s as good as I can give you right there.”

And how does that translate on the field?

“When it comes to running the ball, I feel like we could be on the edge a little better against Alabama,” Holley said. “When it comes to Georgia, we couldn’t, because they’re a faster outside defense. When it comes to getting downhill, I feel like Alabama is better at filling the gap than Georgia is, because they’re bigger. Their defensive line can fill gaps better than Georgia. That’s from my perspective.”

That ‘Bama run/pass ratio is perhaps the most interesting thing there.  Does Junior stick with what he’s been doing, or does he try to test the Georgia defensive front by pounding Derrick Henry more?

There’s nothing like a big loss to bring out the best in people.

Okay, so Saturday wasn’t a good day in Alabama.  How do I know?

Well, they’re writing open letters to Junior.

Kirk Herbstreit, of all people, gets in a Twitter bitch slap fest with The Blind Side’s Leigh Anne Tuohy.

Auburn?  Well, there’s…“Tammy is next.”

One can only imagine what’s in store if ‘Bama actually loses in Athens in two weeks.

Of course he isn’t.

Blogger at Roll Bama Roll isn’t too impressed with state legislator’s move to have Auburn claim a few more national championships.