Category Archives: Wit And Wisdom From The Hat

This time, he REALLY means it.

Les Miles lays down the law… um, laid down the law… uh, repeats himself:

Now that an LSU football player has lost a bar fight, LSU coach Les Miles is reworking his game plan for his Tigers’ night life.

“I’m cutting it off,” Miles said of his players frequenting bars after LSU tight end Dillon Gordon suffered multiple stab wounds in a fight with another man at Reggie’s bar in the Tigerland neighborhood of bars near the LSU campus.

“It’s been an old rule,” Miles said. Fights involving LSU football players at Reggie’s bar is an old story.

And Miles’ rule is one that has not been enforced strongly in recent years. In 2011, then-LSU quarterback Jordan Jefferson was arrested for kicking a man lying at his feet in the head during a brawl outside another bar near the LSU campus. In 2013, then LSU tailback Jeremy Hill was arrested for punching a man outside Reggie’s Bar after running up behind him, setting himself and raring back before striking him. Both incidents were caught on video. At the time, Miles did not speak of banning his players from bars. Both players were suspended briefly.

And last summer, LSU defensive lineman Trey Lealaimatafao was arrested for taking money out of the pockets of an unconscious man who was on the ground outside Reggie’s bar, then punching that man’s girlfriend. He was kicked off the team, but there was no bar ban.

Boys will be boys, eh?  I’m sure they’ll pay attention, although it’s hard to abandon popular traditions.


Filed under Crime and Punishment, Wit And Wisdom From The Hat

Money problems

Sooooo… it turns out LSU was in negotiations with Jimbo Fisher to become the next head coach there.  The problem was the school couldn’t make the numbers add up.

Literally.  Miles and his staff, as we’ve heard, would have been due roughly $17 million dollars if they’d have been let go.  But that’s only half the story.

Fisher makes $5 million per year and has a buyout of $5 million.  He likely would have been given a multiyear contract paying him more than $5 million per season.  A new coaching staff would have cost the school another $5 million.

The final price tag to part ways with Miles and hire Fisher was more than $30 million.  That figure “shocked” Alexander and other officials.

Now, mind you, this is all information that anyone with Internet access could have scrounged up with an hour or so’s worth of typing, but evidently the people running a major state institution have no clue how much an SEC coach costs these days.  I don’t know about you, but Miles or no Miles, if I were in the Louisiana legislature and Alexander came to me asking for more funds that he assured me would be prudently spent, I’d have a hard time not laughing in his face.

These guys really don’t have a clue what they’re doing.  They need every penny from all the broadcast revenue rolling in simply to avoid making hard financial decisions.  And even then, they can’t always make it.

On the plus side, at least we know there’s a dollar limit on what somebody will spend to beat Nick Saban.


Filed under It's Just Bidness, Wit And Wisdom From The Hat

“Thanks for a great 11 years.”

The offseason head coaching market is gonna be something.


UPDATE:  Then again, maybe it doesn’t mean what it sounds like.

After all, this is Les Miles we’re talking about.


Filed under Wit And Wisdom From The Hat

“At some point in time, there’s a me in this.”

As a general rule of thumb, it’s not a good sign when the media is hearing more about your fate from your bosses than you are.

Then, again, nothing’s happened so far.  Makes you wonder if that $15 million buyout the school would owe if Miles were dismissed is a little more daunting than some are letting on.


Filed under Wit And Wisdom From The Hat

He must be good. Everybody wants him.

Okay, so the drumbeat closing out the Les Miles’ era at LSU grows ever louder.

But don’t worry, LSU fans.  Your savior is near at hand.

Florida State head coach Jimbo Fisher is the main target for many foundation members. Other names tossed around include Clemson head coach Dabo Swinney, TCU head coach Gary Patterson and even former NFL coach Jon Gruden.  [Emphasis added.]

If Gruden could charge something for every time his name is brought up by a fan base looking for a new coach, he’d be the richest man in America.


Filed under General Idiocy, Wit And Wisdom From The Hat

9-2 means having to say you’re sorry.

Pardon my French, but this is fucking nuts.

LSU football coach Les Miles’ future is in danger even if the Tigers win out to end the regular season, an LSU Board of Supervisors member said on Friday.

“I think if he wins the next two games, it’s still something that needs to be looked at,” LSU Board of Supervisors member Ronald Anderson told Gannett Louisiana on Friday. “It’s the way they lost the two games.”

No. 15 LSU (7-2, 4-2 Southeastern Conference), which plays at No. 22 Ole Miss (7-3, 4-2 SEC) at 2:30 p.m. Saturday on CBS, lost to unranked, four-loss Arkansas by 31-14 last week and lost, 30-16, to then-No. 4 Alabama the previous week when the Tigers were 7-0 and No. 2 in the College Football Playoff rankings. Those were LSU’s first back-to-back losses by double digits since 1999 when the program was in the midst of eight losing seasons in 11 years.

“If he wins them both, that complicates it,” said Anderson, who has served on the board on and off since 1997. “That’s my opinion. It’s not just the number of losses, but the quality of the losses. The next two games are really important to deciding the future of the program. And you’ve got to look at the progress of the program from the standpoint of a number of years.”

Translation:  we’re not Alabama this year!  Waaaahhhh!!

The only possible rationalization I can think of for taking that tack publicly is the hope that you irritate Miles enough he decides to quit and walk away from his $15 million buyout.  Then again, if he’s that irritated, why wouldn’t he make you fire him?

I wonder how large a buyout LSU’s next head coach negotiates for himself.


Filed under Wit And Wisdom From The Hat

Is there an echo in Baton Rouge?

Somehow, in a mere two weeks, Les Miles has gone from coaching the number two team in the CFP rankings to fighting for his job the rest of this season.  It sounds like things have been building for a while, which has a familiar ring to ears in our neck of the woods.

Although I’m not sure I’m ready to buy this:

“If Miles is terminated without cause before January 1, he would be owed $15 million, payable over eight years… his assistants would have to be paid roughly an additional $2 million for six months’ salary…

It’s a staggering sum, but apparently not a deal breaker.”

And some say Louisiana is an impoverished state.

If Miles gets canned, how insane is the coaching market going to be this winter?  Could Jimmy Sexton’s smile possibly get any wider?


Filed under Wit And Wisdom From The Hat