Category Archives: Wit And Wisdom From The Hat

Our man in Havana

If you had to guess which major college football coach is in Cuba right now, would you pick anyone other than this guy?

They don’t play Australian rules football there, so maybe he’s looking for a soccer player to sign.


Filed under Wit And Wisdom From The Hat

“The beach is a really bad place.”

When you’re Les Miles, the beach is merely a state of mind.

Honestly, if LSU had canned him last year, I would have mourned his passing.


Filed under Wit And Wisdom From The Hat

This time, he REALLY means it.

Les Miles lays down the law… um, laid down the law… uh, repeats himself:

Now that an LSU football player has lost a bar fight, LSU coach Les Miles is reworking his game plan for his Tigers’ night life.

“I’m cutting it off,” Miles said of his players frequenting bars after LSU tight end Dillon Gordon suffered multiple stab wounds in a fight with another man at Reggie’s bar in the Tigerland neighborhood of bars near the LSU campus.

“It’s been an old rule,” Miles said. Fights involving LSU football players at Reggie’s bar is an old story.

And Miles’ rule is one that has not been enforced strongly in recent years. In 2011, then-LSU quarterback Jordan Jefferson was arrested for kicking a man lying at his feet in the head during a brawl outside another bar near the LSU campus. In 2013, then LSU tailback Jeremy Hill was arrested for punching a man outside Reggie’s Bar after running up behind him, setting himself and raring back before striking him. Both incidents were caught on video. At the time, Miles did not speak of banning his players from bars. Both players were suspended briefly.

And last summer, LSU defensive lineman Trey Lealaimatafao was arrested for taking money out of the pockets of an unconscious man who was on the ground outside Reggie’s bar, then punching that man’s girlfriend. He was kicked off the team, but there was no bar ban.

Boys will be boys, eh?  I’m sure they’ll pay attention, although it’s hard to abandon popular traditions.


Filed under Crime and Punishment, Wit And Wisdom From The Hat

Money problems

Sooooo… it turns out LSU was in negotiations with Jimbo Fisher to become the next head coach there.  The problem was the school couldn’t make the numbers add up.

Literally.  Miles and his staff, as we’ve heard, would have been due roughly $17 million dollars if they’d have been let go.  But that’s only half the story.

Fisher makes $5 million per year and has a buyout of $5 million.  He likely would have been given a multiyear contract paying him more than $5 million per season.  A new coaching staff would have cost the school another $5 million.

The final price tag to part ways with Miles and hire Fisher was more than $30 million.  That figure “shocked” Alexander and other officials.

Now, mind you, this is all information that anyone with Internet access could have scrounged up with an hour or so’s worth of typing, but evidently the people running a major state institution have no clue how much an SEC coach costs these days.  I don’t know about you, but Miles or no Miles, if I were in the Louisiana legislature and Alexander came to me asking for more funds that he assured me would be prudently spent, I’d have a hard time not laughing in his face.

These guys really don’t have a clue what they’re doing.  They need every penny from all the broadcast revenue rolling in simply to avoid making hard financial decisions.  And even then, they can’t always make it.

On the plus side, at least we know there’s a dollar limit on what somebody will spend to beat Nick Saban.


Filed under It's Just Bidness, Wit And Wisdom From The Hat

“Thanks for a great 11 years.”

The offseason head coaching market is gonna be something.


UPDATE:  Then again, maybe it doesn’t mean what it sounds like.

After all, this is Les Miles we’re talking about.


Filed under Wit And Wisdom From The Hat

“At some point in time, there’s a me in this.”

As a general rule of thumb, it’s not a good sign when the media is hearing more about your fate from your bosses than you are.

Then, again, nothing’s happened so far.  Makes you wonder if that $15 million buyout the school would owe if Miles were dismissed is a little more daunting than some are letting on.


Filed under Wit And Wisdom From The Hat

He must be good. Everybody wants him.

Okay, so the drumbeat closing out the Les Miles’ era at LSU grows ever louder.

But don’t worry, LSU fans.  Your savior is near at hand.

Florida State head coach Jimbo Fisher is the main target for many foundation members. Other names tossed around include Clemson head coach Dabo Swinney, TCU head coach Gary Patterson and even former NFL coach Jon Gruden.  [Emphasis added.]

If Gruden could charge something for every time his name is brought up by a fan base looking for a new coach, he’d be the richest man in America.


Filed under General Idiocy, Wit And Wisdom From The Hat