Category Archives: WOAH! It’s Johnny Football!

Our long national nightmare that I didn’t even know existed is over.

I guess I’ll sleep better now knowing that PAWWWLLL!!! and Johnny Football have kissed and made up.


Filed under PAWWWLLL!!!, WOAH! It's Johnny Football!

Nice while it lasted

He awoke in a blurry haze.  The inside of his mouth tasted like burnt kerosene. His body itched in places he didn’t think could itch.  One of his eyelids was stuck, gummy.  His nose was assaulted with a brutal stench; suddenly, he realized he’d come to in a street gutter.  What few clothes he was wearing were both nasty and torn.

“What the hell?”, he muttered to himself.  The last thing he could remember was being the toast of the town.  People calling out his name, raising glasses to toast, applauding… and from that to this?  How…

And then, suddenly, in a burst, it all came flooding back to him.


Filed under WOAH! It's Johnny Football!

Thursday morning buffet

If the end of signing day has left you empty, it’s time to fill up.


Filed under 'Cock Envy, Big 12 Football, Big Ten Football, Crime and Punishment, Recruiting, WOAH! It's Johnny Football!

Stay thirsty, my fans.

Johnny Football celebrated his first round draft status by buying everyone of drinking age in his favorite bar in College Station a beer and a shot.

I can think of worse ways to say thanks.


Filed under WOAH! It's Johnny Football!

The SEC’s New Year’s Eve bowl experience: our kids can beat up your honor students.

Wins over Rice and Duke don’t sound like much, because, well, they’re wins over Rice and Duke.  And, in fact, the Liberty Bowl was in little doubt from the first play from scrimmage, as MSU’s monster-sized quarterback carried what looked like two-thirds of the Owls defense for three or four yards.  If there’s one thing Dan Mullen is experienced with, it’s beating programs from lesser light conferences.

The Chick-fil-A Bowl, on the other hand…

Texas A&M lived up to the new SEC motto – “Defense doesn’t win championships; it’s just something you do until the offense comes back on the field” – with a vengeance.  And if there’s anybody who knows how to exploit a shitty defense, it’s David Cutcliffe.  (If he watched the game last night, Willie Martinez was probably having acid flashbacks to that 2006 debacle in Athens.)

In the end, though, despite Duke’s best efforts, the game wound up being a giant platform for the talents of one Johnny Manziel, who simply wouldn’t quit.  His defense finally caught up with him and made a couple of big plays, but if the rumors are true about Johnny Football, this game was one helluva farewell to college football from him.

And it was also a reminder about how puzzling the media response to Manziel was this season.  Sure, he’s brash at times.  But it’s not like he got somebody pregnant, was caught dealing drugs or brandished an AK-47 (although I’m not sure that gets you in trouble in Texas these days).  He had another dazzling year and yet it’s almost as if it didn’t matter.  And it should have, because, at least for me, he’s been the most fun CFB player to watch since Darren McFadden.

I mean, what can you say about this?

Let’s see A.J. McCarron top that.


Filed under SEC Football, WOAH! It's Johnny Football!

Saturday morning buffet


  • D.J. Shockley on Aaron Murray:  “But in my book, he’s No. 1. He’s done it all. The numbers don’t lie. He’s put them in position, and obviously he can’t play defense and special teams. He’s definitely had a great career and worthy of being one of the best.” 
  • Johnny Football’s going to make announce a decision about his future before TAMU’s bowl game.
  • “The celebration by locals that for decades has been Florida football has more of an atmosphere of “Let’s just get this over with.”
  • Revenge is a dish best served urnge.
  • The financial aid deals Georgia signed with two recruits this week have five-year terms.  Still haven’t seen a downside for a recruit to do this.
  • It’s been a roller coaster ride for Arkansas’ seniors.
  • Want something to worry about in today’s game in Athens?  Kentucky’s defensive ends are fifth and seventh in the conference in sacks.


Filed under Arkansas Is Kind Of A Big Deal, Because Nothing Sucks Like A Big Orange, Gators, Gators..., Georgia Football, Recruiting, WOAH! It's Johnny Football!

Sunday morning buffet

Wakey, wakey, football fans.


Filed under 'Cock Envy, ACC Football, Because Nothing Sucks Like A Big Orange, Big 12 Football, Big Ten Football, SEC Football, The NCAA, Whoa, oh, Alabama, WOAH! It's Johnny Football!