Just when you thought you might be getting a handle on the natural order of things in this year’s model of the SEC, they go and throw you a few change ups: LSU beats South Carolina at its own game, TAMU needs fifty-nine points to get past a WAC team in a game that wasn’t settled until the last minute and Auburn generously lets Ole Miss end a 16-game conference losing streak.
- Alabama. Even Nick Saban has time to vote his team #1 this week.
- Florida. Jeff Driskel averaged 3.9 yards per passing attempt and 16.1 yards per rushing attempt against Vanderbilt. I’m skeptical that’s a recipe for long-term success, but I doubt the Gators care right now.
- LSU. Back to their winning formula: little to no production at quarterback and killer effort everywhere else.
- South Carolina. Marcus Lattimore, 13 rushes? After last year’s loss to Auburn, you’d think the OBC would know better.
- Georgia. No bye-week bounce for the Dawgs.
- Mississippi State. MSU continues to take what an easy schedule gives. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
- Texas A & M. If you measure progress by letting a 23-point halftime lead barely hold up instead of blowing it completely, then I guess you can say the Aggies are improving.
- Arkansas. Two straight conference wins and bowlmentum. All John L. lacks for a great week is a favorable ruling in bankruptcy court.
- Ole Miss. You know, this is a fun team to watch. But, Lord, are they small on defense.
- Vanderbilt. “We did not adjust well to the quarterback running game,” Vanderbilt coach James Franklin said. Master of understatement, that one is.
- Tennessee. There are four SEC teams without a conference win. The Vols are one of those. I guess by ranking them here, that makes them the king of the conference dipshits.
- Missouri. Yeah, they’ve had tough sledding on the injury front, but that doesn’t explain the total manhandling they got at the hands of Alabama.
- Auburn. It’s going to take a minor miracle for the Tigers to become bowl eligible. The looming question is who’s going to pay for that.
- Kentucky. The SEC doesn’t have a mercy rule, but it turns out God does. Who knew?
Get The Picture 
I just love seeing Auburn next to last.
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+1if that was a 16 candles reference.
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It was.
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Dammit, now I’ll be Googling Molly Ringwald all day. Thanks.
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If you want to check out some of her recent work, she plays the mom on the American Girl made for TV movie “Molly McIntire”.
And if you don’t know who Molly McIntire is or the American Girl franchise, consider yourself lucky.
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Wonder if Missouri is still tired of hearing about the SEC?
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RE: a providential mercy rule – I’m trying to think of the last time two SEC teams decided to call off a game in the third. I remember last year, WVU was pounding Marshall, and after several hours of lightning and thunder, both A.D.’s agreed to terminate the game. I never thought I’d see that in the SEC.
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I’m too not sold on Florida. I’m don’t think they have a plan if someone can get ahead and make them play catch up. LSU looked as good if not better than last year’s team. Anybody else think Mettenberger with his helmet on looks like John Boy Walton? Too bad for LSU he plays like John Boy.
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You nailed it! I was trying to figure out who he looked like…thanks.. Now CAN WE START WORRYING ABOUT THOSE WILDCATS! Where are you SJIII?
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I’m right here….trust me I know Blutarsky is trying to lull me to sleep with this bottom of the dipshits stuff….Kentucky is the best team Georgia will see this week…we are disorganized, disheartened and disheveled, got groin pulls, o-line pain…you name it bad, we got it. Murray has off-venue distractions, his go-to-guy is out for the season, our kickers are freshmen.
Not to mention the whole hat thing has been knocked into a Cocked hat.
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“Dipshits” & “The looming question is who’s going to pay for that”.
I see what you did there on the second one and the first is just pretty funny. This is why you are my favorite Senator and I will continue to vote for you. Just lettin’ you know.
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So, Nate…does your wife, mate, partner, friend know about Blutarsky?
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At least one of those does, ha! Nah she will occasionally scower the intertubs to track down the good advice and humor of our Senator here. Mostly just relies on my knowledge and me keeping her informed (for which I almost feel sorry for her)…how bout yourn?
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Naw, man….I do way more than enough to keep mine occupied with worrying about other stuff….what I meant was….ah never mind, stay thirsty my friend.
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I think Tinnersee is better than Arkansas, and probably Vandy. But they may quit and fall even further if they get wiped out by Bama and SC. I think Dooley can survive a butt kicking by Bama but the fanbase may not tolerate a strong beatdown from SC. He certainly will not survive a loss to either Vandy or Kentucky.
Kentucky is definitely the weakest team in the conference, how did they lead SC at halftime? I get the looking ahead but that half was worse than just sleepwalking by some disinterested players. Had KY not imploded at the goalline at the end of the half, they would have led by almost 3 TDs. Still, they face more beatdowns, starting this weekend. Not sure Joker should be allowed to finish this season, there are so many schools thaat will be looking for new coaches in December, they may want to get a headstart.
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Argh! Why can’t the SEC have relegation? Just to the ACC, not to the Big Sky or the SWAC. It would be so fun seeing Awbern sent down for a season.
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Wondering how Mizzou likes old man football now?
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it is the best team they can afford at Auburn cause they are still paying the note on Can
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