Shorter T.J. Simers: Junior isn’t an asshole because his daddy loves him.
UPDATE: You wonder if everyone in the family feels the same way.
Filed under Don't Mess With Lane Kiffin
If Monte Kiffin wasn’t his dad Lame would still be a high school PE teacher, if he could get that job.
His dad says he’s a good kid? Well, there’s an unbiased source. I’ve been wrong this whole time.
Simers’ already-shaky cred goes flying off the rails when he says “There are some who suggest he did Al Davis wrong.” And who would they be, exactly? The general consensus from what I can see is that Kiffykins was a terrible coach and Al Davis was (and still is) a terrible owner. If you’re trying to dig a sympathetic figure out of <i
(Sorry, itchy “publish” finger)
. . . If you’re trying to dig a sympathetic figure out of that particular morass, you’re really grasping at straws. So Lane looks sane next to Al Davis? Who doesn’t?
“They try to read this down in Tennessee, and I suspect they will have to find a relative out of state to read it to them, they’ll probably tell you Lane has only one fan. His dad.”
If you’re going to make fun of an entire state for illiteracy, at least have the decency and intelligence to do it in a complete, gramatically correct sentence.
Seriously. The entire article’s a grammatical train wreck. Apparently if you write enough unintelligible sentences, they stop being “errors” and become “your style”.
Also, TJ Simers says that Adolf Hitler wasn’t such a bad guy, because he really loved dogs and was nice to them.
Great article. Reminds me of a Pulitzer prize winning piece The New Yorker ran in the mid-60’s when they got an interview with Great Leader Kim Il-sung’s father, Hank.
NY: So what kind of boy was Kim Il-sung?
Hank Il-Sung: Nice boy. Always mind his mutter and fadder. Three sisters. Kim would play dress up and house many times.
NY: Is Great Leader misunderstood?
Hank Il-Sung: Oh yes. South Korea make up lies about him cuz they so jealous. They will have to get a North Korean to read this article to them.
As someone who hates UT, I found that whole thing insulting. Simers apparently talked to one guy via text message as his source for complaint, because I have no problem whatsoever crystallizing my problems with Kiffin, and it has nothing to do with arrogance — something Simers implies is just something Southerners are too ignorant to understand.
It is reassuring that Monte thinks Lane would never cheat, because I was pretty convinced he would, but the word of his father who is also an employee whose employment depends on not being convicted of cheating is irrefutable.
If only Al hired M-diddy and not drafted Ja’Marcus, Lane could still be at the Mausoleum and Derek in Ruston.
“Apparently the Davis/Kiffin feud has been going on for 7 months, and started because Kiffin wanted his father, Monte Kiffin, to run the Raiders defense. Davis claimed that the Raiders opted not to pursue the elder Kiffin because he was under contract with the Bucs.
Davis also said that Lane Kiffin didn’t want to draft JaMarcus Russell (which actually probably would have been the right thing to do at this point).”
Knowing how much Lane’s daddy loved Lane, Hamilton and Garrett made sure that Monte was part of the deal which makes Bobo and CMR grateful to Garrett.
+1 Hope we never see that wrinkled old man again.
So Lane’s a poor — I mean rich — victim in all this? Bless his wretched heart.
I’m not terribly fond of Tennessee, either, and might be prone to making “ignorant hillbillies” jokes myself occasionally (actually, rarely, but I know I’ve done it). But it’s a regional thing: hypocritical redneck-bashing among SEC fans is part of our game. I don’t like it one bit from an outside source.
“The kid all grown up now, this country is filled with people who think he’s still nothing but a punk, even dad admittedly excited when he looks at the ESPN scrawl and doesn’t see his son’s name.”
That’s what passes for a complete sentence at the nation’s second- or third-largest daily? I’d weep for the craft, but I’ve run out of tears.
In the movie THE TALENTED MR. RIPLEY The murderous Ripley makes a comment that is certainly apropos here: “Nobody thinks of himself as a bad person.” I guess that applies to one’s father, too.
TJ had already been conned by Lane’s performance at the PAC-10 to 12 Media Day
somewhat like Hamilton
and Al were earlier
but not Natalie
NCT, They might be ignorant hillbillies, but damnit, the’re our ignorant hillbillies! I guess it takes an arrogant jerk to write about an arrogant ass. Kiffin turned his back on the AD that took a chance on giving a top of the line coaching job to a punk with a losing record. Kiffin turned his back on the UT fans that supported him in spite of his many screw-ups, but worst of all, he turned his back on those kids that he recruited. Maybe Lane won’t cheat, but he will damn sure lie!
Lane didn’t turn his back on the kids he recruited. He sent his lackey Ed Orgeron to try to steal them from his former employer, UT, the school Lane was being paid by to recruit the kids.
Dear Vol Fans,
I deeply regret what happened earlier this year with my son, Lane. He didn’t intentionally set out to break your seaso, ruin your recruiting, and treat you like a two dollar whore. He only had the best intentions in mind when he arrived at UT and to think that you may now suffer NCAA sanctions as a result of Lane’s spirited practices is also deeply upsetting to me. The money I received from USC has eased the pain a bit and certainly takes the sting out of leaving Knoxville in a hail of musket fire. I just want to convey to you what I know about Lane as a person. He’s not a bad boy. Lane was born with and still suffers from a debilitating mental syndrome, TAS (Terminal Asshole Syndrome). Lane battles this on a daily basis and unfortunately he loses most of those battles. Maybe one day he’ll be strong enough to step up for himself. Until then, it falls on me, as his “daddy”, as you country people put it, to apologize and win games for him.
USC is really in for it now. During a time when that program desperately needs intelligent, strong leadership look what they have instead. Their program will be in a shambles within 3 years and the Lamer will be run out of LA.
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