I’ve seen a lot of explanations for the rising tide of mediocrity at the lower levels of the SEC this season – injuries, poor quarterback play, the overwhelming strength of Alabama and LSU, etc. – but maybe it’s time to consider, well… intellectual firepower.
Example #1: Faced with an inexplicable number of penalties being committed by his charges, Will Muschamp responds with a fashion statement.
… Muschamp said the Gators have been doing everything they can to alleviate the problem, including crowd noise and hard counts at practice. He has even resorted to texting the players and giving out “Hard Count” T-shirts to remind them of the importance of avoiding false starts and staying onside.
“We’re exhausting all measures,” Muschamp said. “We’re just trying to emphasize it a different way.”
If there’s a God in heaven, a Florida player will be caught selling one of those shirts to a booster for $1,000.
But poor ol’ Will looks like Albert Einstein in comparison to the Ole Miss brain trust, if this blogger is on to something (h/t Jarred).
… I should point out here that the only time a sign was held up on a passing play was when we had scripted a screen pass to a halfback. Aside from that, someone who looked like a student worker was holding up a sign on every running play with a few letters on it. Those letters would tell the offense (AND THE DEFENSE) who was getting the ball.
Here are the signs I noticed:
Brazz – Nick Brassell – This sign was used to show Brassell would go in motion though he never actually touched the ball.
B.B. – Brandon Bolden
E – Enrique Davis
T.S. – Tobias Singleton
J.S. – Jeff Scott
Speed – Speed option
Phillies logo – Bell formation triple option which always went to Brandon BoldenI realize that to many of you this is unbelievable. It’s so insultingly simple that I must be lying, right? Well I’m not. I didn’t take pictures of the signs because that’s actually against SEC regulations – I think – so just trust me. I wish I were kidding when I say that we hold up the initials of the player who will receive the football on running plays.
As if LSU needs any extra help this week.
**********************************************************************************
UPDATE: Derek Dooley makes a bid for a place at the table.
Get The Picture 
Jaw on floor.
We need a phrase for that. “First and Nutt”? The offense is going “nutts out” on this play?
LikeLike
The Nuttster is going out with all squirt guns blazing!
LikeLike
Funny I was just thinking … if SC and UGA win out, the conference could have 5 top 10 teams at the end of the year.
LikeLike
Correct Toom. I don’t know what the Senator means when he says there is “rising tide of mediocrity at the lower levels of the SEC this season…” The SEC is as strong overall as ever. There always have to be winners and losers as these teams have to play each other. When LSU goes undefeated instead of 10-2 that means that 2 teams are deprived of 1 more win.This year Ole Miss got beat by Vandy so Ole Miss sinks a little lower and Vandy is a little higher. UK is usually at or near the bottom. The aberrations for UK have been the last few seasons when UK got to play in bowls. It’s not so much a rising tide of mediocrity as a realignment of the conference pecking order with Ole Miss falling below UK and Vandy rising above both UK and Ole Miss in the East and the West having 3 top programs this season whereas the East only has 2, UGA and South Carolina, because Florida and UT are having off seasons.
LikeLike
Reword; “…Vandy rising above UK in the East and Ole Miss in the conference as a whole…”
LikeLike
I think it’s more of an ebb tide, my own sef.
LikeLike
You know, when I hear a fan say I could call a teams play’s 90% of the time before the snap, I always think BS. No amount of talent can overcome a DC knowing what the other team is going to run 90% of the time. But I guess an OLE Miss fan could actually do that. Wow.
LikeLike
It’s hard to do that with a bag over your head.
LikeLike
Or a box.
LikeLike
It wasn’t that long ago that the UGA fans could call the play based on how our QB set his feet in the shotgun formation.
LikeLike
My recollection is that Joe’s feet would tip only whether it was run or pass. That’s still plenty bad, though.
LikeLike
I would have mixed it up and used their actual positions (RB, HB, TE, FLK, WR) as opposed to their initials. That would have really been confusing.
LikeLike
So, is the Rt Rev not planning on ever coaching again? Because that’s some high level trolling right there.
LikeLike
Now I REALLY have no hope for Ole Miss upetting LSU this week! 🙂 Also, Muschamp should change it to “Heart Count”, imo.
LikeLike
When Boom screams at the refs, he is actually calling the next play.
Betcha didn’t know this.
LikeLike
He’s really screaming,” ARE YOU AND YOUR WIFE COMING OVER FOR DINNER AFTER THE GAME? FINE!!! WE’LLSEE YOU AT 8:00!!!
LikeLike
I’m not surprised by this one bit. Nutt’s an idiot and the only bigger one I can think of that’s tied to Ole Miss is Khayat, who fired Cutcliffe. Put those two in a roof and they couldn’t find the floor.
LikeLike
So are the Florida Gators utilizing a Fake Juice tactic? Wow.
LikeLike
BOOM!
LikeLike
So, is Muschamp headed for an “in the hot seat” watch by midseason of 2012 if the Gators don’t come out of the chute fast?
LikeLike
Depending on the final score of the FSU game, the bowl game, and Driskel transferring, it could be a hot seat by the spring game. The Zooker never went 6-7.
LikeLike
Indeed.
LikeLike
Mike seems to be busy today. So, I’ll pick up his slack. Here we go:
1) You Bulldog fans would know all about fake juice, so please tell us Florida fans how to do it.
2) Say what you want, but Florida had the hard count down during our UNPRECENDENTED FIVE STRAIGHT APPEARANCES IN THE SEC CHAMPIONSHIP GAME. NOBODY HAS EVER DONE THAT!
3) Todd Grantham made a choking gesture at the last team that could stay onsides, thus proving that Florida is superior.
There. That oughta do it.
LikeLike
Florida got that ass beat
LikeLike
Asses beat or not, our kicking game came close to giving that one away.
LikeLike
Living in the past already I see. At least UGA has won a game since Sept.
LikeLike
The way I figure it, we’ll be seeing less and less of Gator Mike for the balance of the season. This typically occurs when the thrust of your arguments weave in ad hominem tactics that your team of choice just can’t back up.
LikeLike
Are we sure that Dooley isn’t having some sort of a prolonged stroke?
LikeLike
Absolutely LMAO at the picture of Dooley with the orange and red dogs on his shoulders.
LikeLike
When Derek heard about a squirrel’s bizarre obsession with a dog statute, he thought, “Why not me? Rommel would do it.”
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1353868/A-squirrels-bizarre-obsession-dog-statue.html
Old Smokey now knows how unwanted Russ The Temporary Bulldog feels and is expected to take a leak on the statue at the first available opportunity.
LikeLike
Rumor is that a maintenance painter was walking across the field with a bucket of orange paint when all the players began shouting,”RUN SMOKEY, RUN!!!
LikeLike
I can personally attest that “Red Dog” is indeed the opposite of positive thinking. Should I splurge for good beer this evening? Nah, I’ll just pick up some Red Dog. It’s the epitome of negativity.
On a related note, are there any teams in Dooley’s conference whose mascot is a dog and whose primary color is red? Just more proof that Georgia is all up inside Derek Dooley’s head.
LikeLike
I thought about that too, and wondered if the beer was still around. I remember it being popular right before the “Ice” craze hit beerland, and penguins singing Sinatra were all Bud offered.
LikeLike
Yes, Dante. Haven’t you heard of the Red Clay Hounds?
LikeLike
Reading that article on Dooley and his colorful dogs just makes me want to go to The Varsity and order myself a red ‘dog and possible a naked steak.
LikeLike
With a Frosted “Orange” shake!
LikeLike
“If there’s a God in heaven, a Florida player will be caught selling one of those shirts to a booster for $1,000.”
Thanks for making my day Senator.
LikeLike
If you haven’t checked out the link to the Ole Miss sign debacle, do yourself a favor and do it now. Then scroll down and enjoy their sign recommendations for Nutt & Co. to use.
LikeLike
LMAO!! You have to give the Ole Miss fans some credit. Instead of shooting themselves, they sure are taking it in stride. I almost want to buy them a beer for their troubles.
LikeLike
How bout THEM dogs!!
LikeLike
Dooley is losing it.
LikeLike