Teh stoopid – it burns!

A couple of truly shake your head in wonder dumb, dumb articles:

—  The conference commissioners, panicked by falling postseason ratings and attendance numbers, are on track to reform the BCS such that the money train will pick up speed.  Sure, the inevitable turf wars have ensued, but these guys know they have certain common goals.  Which makes this Rachel Bachman article in the WSJ such a special disconnect from reality.  She argues that the Big Ten and Pac-12 should pull out of the BCS to… I don’t want to diminish the impact with a paraphrase here:  “… serve the greater glory of the best thing about college football: the Rose Bowl.”  Even better, she says that would force the networks to face a tough decision:  “Do they want to plunge into a playoff or bask in the glow of tradition?”  I can’t make that shit up if I tried.

—  But as dumb as that is, I think I’d have to say this Kevin Scarbinsky piece is even farther out.  At least you can say Bachman’s writing out of some sense of romance about what is, still, a tradition, albeit one that’s compromised itself in the BCS era.  Scarbinsky, though, honestly wants to convince the world that Jim Delany’s reference to “that team” in the context of the Big Ten commissioner’s push to form a D-1 playoff in his own image has awakened a sleeping giant in Tuscaloosa:  “The Crimson Tide has been handed a new motivational slogan.”  Ooh.  What’s Nick Saban been doing lately, if he hasn’t begun preparing his team for the season opener?  I was going to spend a lot more effort strafing this piece of junk, but I’m outsourcing it to Brian Cook instead.

GODDAMMIT JIM DELANY NOW ALABAMA IS GOING TO SHOW UP IN DALLAS AND TRY TO WIN. OUR WHOLE PLAN WAS THIS: DO NOT MAKE ALABAMA FEEL LIKE THEY SHOULD WIN THIS FOOTBALL GAME. OUR WHOLE PLAN IS NOW: AAAAAAAAIIIIEEEEEE. I SHOULD SHAKE YOU, SCREAMING “GET AHOLD OF YOURSELF” AND YES I KNOW THAT’S IRONIC.

Aiight?