Between Crowell’s dismissal and my moroseness over what I suspect college football’s powers that be are cooking up for us, I figure we’re all more than a little down in the mouth. We could do with a little cheering up about now. I can’t arrange a group hug and I can’t think of a way to pass around a big enough bottle of 20-year old Pappy, but I think I’ve got something else that might do the trick.
And that would be the story of one Fred Davis, a Washington Redskin in his day job and ace legal defender of Fred Davis otherwise. If a story the Washington Post titled “Fred Davis accused of throwing juice on a woman his body guard claims is a pimp” (h/t Chris Brown) can’t get your juices flowing, Jack, you dead.
If anything, his story is better than the Post headline indicates. Sure, the gory details are as salacious as you’d hope, but the real hilarity comes from both parties’ decision to take Peoples Court-style justice to the DC Superior Court. Yes, they’re both representing themselves. And they’re spectacular. My absolute favorite part of the story comes from Davis’ former legal advisor (now there’s a job you couldn’t pay me enough to take):
“It’s just all made up and flagellant,” Davis told the judge during his closing argument. (Davis has no formal legal training, according to Jean Kuei, Davis’s former attorney.)
No shit, Jean. I never would have guessed.
The trial is scheduled for March 11, 2013. Mark it on your calendars. Outside of Mike Leach getting Craig James on the stand, there isn’t much other litigation I’m as eagerly looking forward to as that.
By the way, fair warning: I am so using “It’s just all made up and flagellant” as my new catch phrase. In fact, you don’t know how close I am to replacing the blog motto with it.
Anyway, enjoy. I hope this makes up for some of the gloom and doom.
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