This is a Lane Kiffin scarecrow. It is a real thing.
I think you know what to do.
“We remember the Sugar Bowl, I think it my junior year of high school, we let Alabama beat us twice,” Brinson said of a team that also lost to the Crimson Tide in the SEC Championship game. “We’re not letting Alabama beat us twice. In the Sugar Bowl in 2018, they… thought they should have been in the playoffs and lost to Texas.” -- AB-H, 12/27/23
Those UT guys are waiting for the Bama game so they can get the real guy and stick that stick up his, well you get the idea.
LikeLike
Nick was pissed when he rode by the field and it was filled with crows. He immediately fired Kiffin and replaced him with a Scott Cochran scarecrow.
LikeLike
“Lulu, get my 12 gauge off the rack.”
LikeLike
Get a torch.
LikeLike
Excellent idea. Remember kids,
LikeLike
Da plane! Da plane!
LikeLike
My alternate: “ONE. MILLLION. DOLLARS.”
LikeLike
“Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie defensive coordinator from Dallas with a low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the 3-4. Some times he would accuse yard markers of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament.
My childhood was typical, summers in Rangoon, dog grooming lessons. In the fall we’d make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds, pretty standard really. At the age of 12 I received my first playbook. It was drawn in crayon. At the age of 33, a hillbilly named billybob ritualistically shaved my testicles during a pep rally in Tennessee. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it’s breathtaking, I suggest you try it.”
LikeLike
+1
LikeLike
Plus 100000000 for the National Lampoon throwback.
LikeLike
+1 for Summers in Rangoon. Why? Because they carved out the middle of a freaking jungle to put it there on the banks of the Irrawaddy where some say the humidity is higher than it is in Auburn with a lake
LikeLike
Comic. Genius.
I say “So I Married an Axe Murderer” is criminally underrated.
LikeLike
‘I could while away the hours,
Consultin’ with the flowers,
Conversin’ with the rain.
And my head I’d be scratching,
While my thoughts they’d be hatching,
If I only had a brain.’
LikeLike
“see, this here corn is like my atholeetes, I raise them with nothing more than mother nature and press confrences, one day they will be big and tall and it won’t really have much to do with me at all.”
derpp a darr.
LikeLike
Some men see things as they are and ask, “Why?”
I see things that never were and ask, “What can a few hostesses hurt?”
LikeLike
If the schedules I looked at are correct, Alabama plays in Knoxville on October 25. Georgia has a bye that week! If Tennessee has lost a bunch of games by then and there are seats available, it would almost be worth the drive up to see what happens when Benedict Arnold Kiffen has to face the wrath of thousands of orange clad hillbillys. It may be more entertaining than the game. On the other hand, if Tennessee is having a miserable season and the game sells out anyway…Kiffen better hope the stadium lights don’t go out.
LikeLike
Rotten eggs?
LikeLike
If I only had a brain….”
LikeLike
Wait…this somehow sounds familiar.
LikeLike
“Good bye by the 4th of July,”
LikeLike
Alabama! Where the thugs all wind up on the Plain!
Where the corn is as high as an evil guy’s thigh!
LikeLike
Willie and Jancek get a nervous tick every time they drive by.
LikeLike
Given what Kiffinkins did to Willie the last time they met, I would have a tick too.
LikeLike
It’s only a matter of time before there is a crow scandal and he disappears
LikeLike