The return of envy and jealousy: from the “I wish I’d written that” department

Confession time:  I went through a stretch in my life when I couldn’t stand college football.

My undergraduate degree is from the University of Virginia.  One thing I learned there, during the Sonny Randle era, was how truly wretched a D-1 football program could be.  The low points were so low – how do you choose between a 40+ point blow out by what was up to then the worst D-1 team in the country or beating frickin’ VMI by one point because the Keydets elected to go for two at the end of the game and didn’t make it? – that I gave up on college football and didn’t get my mojo back until I got to Athens.

Believe me, I was but one of many.  I had a friend who referred to the regime of the coach who got fired before Randle was hired (his best season was something like 4-7, I think) as the “glory years”.  So it should go without saying that most Wahoo football fans are longsuffering.  Al Groh is just our latest cross to bear.

Which brings me to the subject of this post:  Ian Cohen is a blogger who has written about Virginia football and in so doing has done a consistent and entertaining job of describing the ups and downs in Charlottesville (more of the latter than the former lately, unfortunately).  His post from yesterday about the Hoos’ top returning WR’s season ending injury (can you have a season ending injury before the season starts?) is a classic.

If you’re a Dawg fan, you can certainly feel his pain about the Virginia receiving corps, which, to put it kindly, hasn’t made its mark to date.   For example, here’s what he has to say about the now leading returning wideout for ’07:

… Maurice Covington is promising, if sparingly used, and figures to be the key target. He also leads the returning receivers in yardage from 2006…45. 135 feet in one season. God.

But the best lines are directed at some of the dearly departed from last year.  He characterizes a couple:

  • Deyon Williams: 75% injury-plagued, 25% indifference-plagued
  • Fontel Mines: speed of a tight end, hands of a lineman

Fair warning:  I’m gonna have to steal that “injury-plagued, indifference-plagued” tag at some point in time.  It’s too tempting not to use.

Read the whole thing.  If you’ve ever tried to figure out how to use a snuff film or the Washington Nationals’ pitching staff as an analogy for football futility,  he can show you the way.  Good stuff.

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