The only thing that could make this situation better would be if Al Davis moved the Raiders to Birmingham.
+1 to Chris Low for the last line in that post, by the way. (He sure sounds like he’s enjoying this, doesn’t he?)
Here’s the link to the leaked letter. It’s got a pretty high chuckle factor.
Get The Picture 
I really don’t like that man.
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LOVE THE LETTER!
UT must be so proud.
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That letter pretty much sums it all up. I’m ashamed of myself for thinking Al Davis was the degenerate tyrant in all this. Turns out that shoe fits Lil’ Kiff’s foot.
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Global War on Lane (GWOL), Friday the Thirteenth continuation of extended status report:
Practice field, Green Zone, Knoxville:
Zero Dark Thirty:
Phu has locked down the players inside the dressing room just like Monte said to do. The players are not happy about it. Monte is staging his entertainment for the day for the assistant coach troopers, some of whom are starting to straggle in and wander around.
On the way to the field, Lane is on his Segway listening to “You Are so Beautiful” on his iPod through headphones.
Dien Bien Phu is riding a water buffalo that the Ag Department loaned him so he won’t feel so homesick. Phu has only a blue transistor radio that America dropped on North Vietnam that his grandparents gave him before he left for UT. It only picks up AM, so Phu is listening to Knoxville talk radio and the traffic report trying to dodge the buffalo out of the way of the pickup trucks.
Layla Two, the beautiful blonde super hot work study intern assigned to Monte, is speeding to the field in her 911 twin-turbo with Puddle of Mudd’s “Psycho” cranked up loud on its Bose sound system. Two’s daddy is a music producer in Nashville. Her momma is a classy high-priced consultant who works mostly the Opryland Hotel by the airport for conventions or downtown during weekends when the Titans are home. They divorced when she was two.
Two doesn’t mind so much being around Monte, however, being around all of the lunatic fringe that is the UT coaching staff freaks her a little, so she powers herself up with “Psycho” whenever she knows that she has to be around them. Monte woke up earlier to the sound of Barry Sadler’s “Green Berets” on his alarm clock radio.
After what Jeremy and Urban did with that Air Cav attack on Friday the Thirteenth last month, Monte had concerns that another SEC enemy coach might enlist Al Davis to come in for a motivational talk like Spur did with Bobby Knight and Monte will do with Johnny Majors this morning.
Monte doesn’t think Richt would bring Al in, because as far as Monte knows, Al doesn’t even go to church in Oakland or Berkeley but he wouldn’t put it past Little Nickie or even Urban, if he wanted to pile on even more after last month’s surprise attack.
But Lane told Monte that the only way Al going anywhere will be by videoconferencing. Lane said that no how, no way, can anyone can get Al to come out of his office or skybox in the Oakland Mausoleum for any reason.
Monte asked why, and Lane said, “Al won’t leave the Mausoleum because he is afraid someone’s going to capture him and stick him in a nursing home.”
Monte could easily believe that. Monte hadn’t met any old guy yet who wanted to check into a nursing home without being forced to do it unless it was for the chicks. Then Monte thought to himself that some of those old girls weren’t so bad but Monte was kind of turned on by Layla Two, his work study intern. She seemed kind of edgy and wild and Monte liked that and wondered if she had a tramp stamp…
(to be continued…)
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When the Raiders, a team full of degenerate outcasts, question someone’s character… there should be serious consideration about whether that someone should be allowed on the streets.
I wonder if UT is still excited about all of this free publicity their storied university is receiving.
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Good shot Realist. I cannot believe the UT bigshots are liking the way lil’ kif rolls. This makes one wonder how long it can continue.
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I would bet that the president and AD’s rear ends are sucking air everyday since this hire.
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