First, we’ll hang him… then we’ll give him a fair trial.

I don’t have a dog in the Harvey Updyke saga, so for me, it’s just fun to sit back and watch both sides screw with each other.  Of course, given that the crime took place on Auburn’s turf, it’s that side that has most of the leverage, as the terms of this plea offer indicate:

Harvey Updyke, the Alabama fan who is accused of poisoning the famous oak trees at Toomer’s Corner at Auburn University, turned down a plea offer from prosecutors that would have required him to spend 13 years in prison and never attend a Crimson Tide sporting event for the rest of his life, a source close to the case told ESPN.com on Friday.

Thirteen years for poisoning trees is a tad overmuch, but it’s the lifetime ban from ‘Bama games that’s the great touch.

Of course, Updyke’s still trying to land a punch or two of his own.

Wess also asked for a change of venue to move Updyke’s trial out of Auburn, Ala., and also asked Walker to recuse himself from the case because he shares in an Auburn football season ticket pool.

Is there a neutral judge in the entire state of Alabama?

I guess this guy’s lucky nobody filmed his schlong in Auburn.