I’ll take Galactically Stupid Ideas for $200, Alex.

Oh, for fuck’s sake

We’re talking about a commissioner for major college football: the Power 5 or the entire FBS.

The commissioner concept has traction among some prominent coaches, frustrated with a factionalized process. Others argue that college football isn’t set up for a commissioner and urge greater coach engagement and faith in a still-evolving legislative structure.

But after the satellite camp silliness, it’s foolish to discount an alternative.

“There’s a great need,” Tennessee coach Butch Jones said, “for leadership.”

Coming from the man who used to (past tense, supposedly) get serial heads-up from the Knoxville police department when his charges wound up on the wrong side of the law, that’s a bit rich.  Leader, lead thyself.

Not that he’s alone in that sentiment, or in putting forth dumb support for it.

Stanford coach David Shaw prefaces his remarks by restating he’s not going to the NFL — since everyone asks — but he is a product of the league, having worked for three NFL teams from 1997 to 2005. The NFL’s administrative structure shapes his perception.

Shaw thinks the launch of the College Football Playoff marked the “end of the old ways,” and mandates greater standardization in areas like scheduling, recruiting rules and staff sizes.

“When we get to a point where we can normalize our lives as Power 5 college football,” Shaw said, “then you’d love to have a committee and then on top of that, a commissioner, someone who doesn’t work for anybody other than college football. It would make the absolute most sense.

“We’re no longer complete and separate entities. We’re all feeding into one system.”

Tell that to ESPN when it comes time for the Pac-12 to negotiate its next broadcast deal, man.  I’m sure it’ll go over well.

And then there’s the question of who gets to run the asylum.  Hey, let’s ask Nick Saban for a suggestion!

Like Shaw, Saban coached in the NFL and appreciates how the NFL’s model — led by a commissioner but also committees with team representation, like the competition committee — shapes policy for all 32 organizations rather than 2-3 divisions.

“It would be good if there was somebody, and I don’t know who, but somebody that looked at the game from 1,000 feet,” Saban said. “Not as an AD. Not as a conference commissioner. Not as an offensive guy or a defensive guy, but somebody who’s looking at it from the entire scope.

“It’s not what’s best for the SEC or the Big Ten or the Pac-12, but what’s best for the game. That way, there’s no self-interest.”

Blutarsky’s Rule:  Any time someone suggests having a background in the NFL is a plus for making suggestions to improve college football, walk away.

I’d go on a rant here about how college football’s one saving grace right now in antitrust court is that there is some real competition between the conferences and that doing what these coaches suggest would immediately trash that, but I think I’ll simply state that if even Bob Bowlsby – Bob Bowlsby, for Gawd’s sake – knows this won’t work…

Added Big 12 commissioner Bob Bowlsby: “The idea of having a commissioner over football is probably imposing a structure over college sports that is better in place for professional sports.”

… it really is a brain-dead suggestion.

As for who would make a good CFB commissioner, I have a better candidate than anyone on Rittenberg’s list:  Donald Trump.  After all, he’s got professional football league management experience.  Who better to make College Football Great Again?


Filed under College Football

29 responses to “I’ll take Galactically Stupid Ideas for $200, Alex.

  1. I love Blutarsky’s rule – couldn’t have said it better myself

  2. DugLite

    There won’t be any illegal immigrants on any rosters. He’s got my vote.

  3. DawgPhan

    But the current NFL commissioner is widely hated and is constantly being second guessed and often sued. That is what they want to bring in.

  4. sniffer

    I, for one, think it’s a travesty that GTP came shamelessly use the name and images of college football and not have to pay royalties. Clearly, when we say “UGA” or “Bulldogs”, we have a responsibility to pay for that privilege. A commissioner would get things like that under control. Thank you.

  5. I am under the impression that Jimmy Sexton already runs college football.

  6. Don in Mar-a-Lago

    Why not the General? He’s an ex-head coach who doesn’t know history but how many of them have split the atom anyway?

    • Derek

      Billions of American lives?? 1944?? Was he channeling Bluto?

      Say what you want about Nagasaki and Hiroshima, but at best it was an unfortunate and terrible necessity. Simultaneously exterminating thousands of women and children is not worthy of applause. I understand why we did what we did, but it’s not something that ought to be celebrated.

      • Don in Mar-a-Lago

      • paul

        How old are you Derek? That’s easy to say for someone who was not living through the second WORLD war in twenty years. It’s difficult to understand what was going on at the time. We’re talking about a true world war. At the time, the Japanese people believed their emperor to be descended from deity. A literal man-god on earth. And they did not believe in surrender. When you’re fighting a war, and I mean an all out war, you do what you have to do to win. Otherwise, you and I are conversing in German right now. The Nazis bombed London, literally for years. My father was bombing Frankfurt when he was shot down and taken prisoner and the United States bombed Berlin as often and as heavily as we possibly could. Why? Were most of the German military and resources there? No. It was the heart and soul of Germany just as London was the heart and soul of England. To win a war you must defeat far, far more than a military. You must defeat a people. That’s the reality of war. That’s why when men return from war they invest their lives in trying to make sure their children never have to experience such things.

          • Derek

            One of the best movies of all time. My favorite line is after the President, stating that he does not want to be remembered as the greatest mass murderer in history, turns down Gen. Turgidson’s suggestion that they fully commit to attacking Russia “with their pant’s down” since it would only lead to 10 to 20 million dead Americans “tops; depending upon the breeze.”

            “Perhaps if you cared more about the American people than your place in history!”

            Tremendous script writing. The scary thing is that at the time the movie was written, there was an actual debate about whether MAD was the most advantageous way to approach the nuclear issue with more than a few people arguing that a nuclear conflagration could be won. The insanity in the movie was not an invention in Stanley Kubrick’s mind. It was actually out there.

            • Dog in Fla

              “Those in the know watched ‘Dr. Strangelove’ amused, like everyone else, but also stunned. Daniel Ellsberg, who later leaked the Pentagon Papers, was a RAND analyst and a consultant at the Defense Department when he and a mid-level official took off work one afternoon in 1964 to see the film. Mr. Ellsberg recently recalled that as they left the theater, he turned to his colleague and said, ‘That was a documentary!”‘


        • Derek

          Where did I say we shouldn’t have done it? I said EXACTLY the opposite. I said explicitly that I was not willing to challenge the decision. Are you capable of reading?

          What I said is that its inappropriate to applaud it’s memory. We can talk about the realities of war all you like but don’t expect me to believe that any of it (other than it ending) is cause for celebration. Its just not. Mass casualties are never something to cheer about whether its Hanoi, Dresden or Nagasaki. If you want to celebrate nuking Japan (twice) Days, push for National Holiday to celebrate it (them). I’m guessing that you’ll get a lot of responses that reflect what I’ve said. On the other hand you’ll have your Trump’s and Knight’s saying that its “politically correctness” run amok if we don’t have ticker tape parades every August to “celebrate the greatest incineration of citizens in one day period (twice) evah!”

          As I said, it may well have been absolutely necessary, but there were nearly a half a million people who died as a result. That’s not an applause line for any humane, respectful person.

          • “War is hell” … As a native Georgian, this quote is about the only thing that ever came out of William Tecumseh Sherman’s mouth I could agree with.

            Even as a conservative, the use of the atomic bomb was a necessary disaster in every sense of the word. An invasion of Japan in 1945 would have made the Afghan and Iraq wars seem like a back-alley street fight by comparison. We would have lost a generation of young men in injured and dead similar to what happened in Europe during the war to end all wars (WW1). It’s clearly not something to celebrate, and I think all involved in that decision if they were alive today would agree.

          • Debby Balcer

            Actually you said you understood why you did not say you supported it just that it should not be celebrated.

            • Derek

              Because I am hesitant to give it a full throated endorsement, honestly. I’m not absolutely convinced that it was the best choice. I am also convinced that it’s not a matter that I can definitively take a position against. I am very sympathetic to the rationale behind it. I’m also not willing to say that I would have made the exact same choice had I been in Truman’s seat. It’s just one of those very difficult situations in history.

              Likewise, despite the fact that I think Lincoln is the best president we’ve ever had, I’m not convinced that prohibiting succession via war was the best choice. It was the best choice for the south in the long term as it was destined for what happened in South Africa, but as horrific the southern state’s reason may have been for leaving, the union was, at least at one time, a voluntary compact. Again, you have a situation where people had to make very hard choices leading to a quite unfortunate amount of dead people.

              Forgive me if on some issues in history that I just can’t give a full stamp of approval. I think its better to just understand how difficult those choices were and to respect the men who had to make them.

              If you don’t question even the popular choices in hindsight, pretty soon you’re unwilling to be critical of the Indian Removal Act or the internment of Japanese citizens. All of these choices deserve to be revisited and reconsidered. We owe no duty to simply give up our own judgment about these things. I think we have a duty as citizens to do the opposite: question everything. Democracy depends upon intelligent, discerning citizens. After all, in a democracy we get the government we as a group deserve. As far as I’m concerned we’re currently found to be wanting in many respects.

          • paul

            Derek, we already have two national holidays to celebrate. They’re known as Veterans Day and Memorial Day. I love Dr. Strangelove myself. And if I actually believed Trump had a chance of getting elected I’d be buying property in Costa Rica. There is nothing humane or respectful about war. However, losing is not an option. I will certainly continue to celebrate the fact that my father and countless other men and women like him were willing to make horrific choices and sacrifice they’re very lives so you and I can be free to disagree in an open and democratic society.

            • Well said, Paul. Independence Day means absolutely nothing without Veterans Day and Memorial Day.

            • Derek

              Can’t disagree with any of that. Save one thing: I’m thinking Belize!

              • paul

                Belize is nice too.

              • Cojones

                You guys probably haven’t been to Belize City. Their hospital was a tenement house last time I was there (early 8os) and the US Embassy had barred windows. Archipelagic reefs and inland pre-Columbian ruins areas are what most people see and think are representative of that country. Drove in from Mexico’s Yucatan and by the Orange River cane fields in time to see the Belize Army training under the leadership of european mercenaries who also guarded the small airport next to the water.

  7. BCDawg97

    I do so love when you swear Senator. I always envision this buttoned up, by the book, straight laced lawyer type. And then the F bomb drops. Awesome! What was the rest of the article about?

  8. SouthernYank

    The current NFL commish is a disaster. So yes, lets get one for college football.

  9. AusDawg85


  10. Jared S.

    Maybe we could convince ADGM to take the job….

  11. OHDawg

    Paul and Derek…get a room.

    Seriously, that was the most respectful debate I’ve seen on this board in months.

    OK…back to “Kirby the PR Moron” and “Why isn’t Gator McGarity fired yet”?