“Damn the University of Florida got some b**** a** football players…”

True dat, homey.

According to a university police interview with UF tight end C’yontai Lewis, Zachery had a “good relationship” with Lewis “while the football team was winning, but when they began losing, “Tay Bang” would call them “garbage” and would complain about losing money after he bet on football games,” the report states.

Your first mistake, “Tay”, was betting on Gator football.

This led to what sounds like a classic confrontation between a disappointed gambler and Florida football players.

Zachery, 21, and his friends were waiting for the football players near the dorms. The football players began to confront the group, but left in vehicles, the report states. As the group left, they could be heard yelling, “We coming back strapped,” the report states.

The other group returned and a confrontation ensued. One player reported the group had a baseball bat, a red laser being pointed at another player’s chest and another individual threatening “Come any closer, I’ll spray you.”

Zachery told police, he observed one football player holding “some sort of assault rifle and some others were [holding] rocks.”

… The football players initially denied having any involvement with the incident, according to the report. While searching for evidence, police didn’t find any bullets. However they did find a frying pan that, according to the report, was seen on camera being used by one of the athletes during the confrontation.

You know what they always say — never bring a frying pan to a gun fight.  I think that’s from Sun Tzu‘s lesser known work, The Art of Bitch Slapping.

Nobody was charged with a crime, which is probably a good thing, because I suspect Huntley Johnson isn’t at his best when he’s doubled over in laughter.

Tailgating in Jacksonville this year ought to be a riot.  Some enterprising entrepreneur needs to design a t-shirt displaying the header for the fashionable Dawg fan to wear there.

(Thanks to everyone who thoughtfully provided me with a link to the story last night.  As if I could have ever missed this.)