The Thousand-year Process

Let me preface this post by saying that in no way do I think this is representative of the Alabama fan base, but, damn, y’all, this dude has shit for brains:

“He’s a winner, he just does what he wants to do,” says Lee Allen, an Alabama fan from Decatur. “He’s kind of like Hitler. He’s a dictator. He brought us back to the top and I figure we’re going to be here for a while. Money well spent.”

Wait, what? Hitler? You mean that as a compliment? “Yeah,” Allen says in between discreetly spitting tobacco juice into a water bottle in the lobby.

Of course he did, bless his heart.

There’s a logo missing on that football, bro! (Photo via Jon Solomon/


Filed under Whoa, oh, Alabama

48 responses to “The Thousand-year Process

  1. Rusty

    Alabama truly is a Special Place.

  2. I have a hard time believing that man partakes of smokeless tobacco…

  3. You have no idea….It truly is some kind of alternate universe. Going to visit next week. It literally scares me. Scorp…help me with those karmic bitches.

  4. uglydawg

    “he just does what he wants to do”…One little piece of reality in an otherwise ridiculous comment.

  5. Webster’s definition of a Bammer – see picture above

  6. JAX

    Gee, that’s as bad as it gets. Product of an Alabama public education.

  7. AlphaDawg

    Mouth Breather said what?

  8. TennesseeDawg

    In Alabama, that is seen as a completely sane comment.

  9. TomReagan

    When will they realize that the more pride they take in Alabama football, the more they tie their sense of self worth to Alabama football–the more depressing they are to the rest of the world?

    Also, what logo is missing on that ball?

  10. Maybe the guy can get into the arborist business as well. Maybe he’ll try to poison the hedges after the game in December.

  11. Cousin Eddie

    Half the people in Alabama are going what’s wrong with that, the other half are going no Malzhan’s the new Hitler.

  12. dawgyinnc

    Is he from Decatur, GA? Because, I am guessing Decatur, AL.

  13. 66DAWGnNC

    I lived in Alabama for 13 years; 3 just outside of Dothan and 10 just south of Birmingham. Believe me, this guy is one of the more sane Bama fans to have never attended a class at the University. It is a different world over there. In fact, the June bugs don’t usually arrive until late August.

  14. www

    the picture perfectly matches mental image his words produce.

  15. I’m at a loss for words. Wtf??

  16. No One Knows You're a Dawg

    Mein Saban!

  17. Spike

    Even Forrest Gump is embarrased.

  18. 69Dawg

    This guy is crazy everybody knows Saban is Napoleon come back to conquer CFB. Short dudes always want to kick ass.

  19. Mayor of Dawgtown

    So? I’ve thought that Urban Meyer was another Stalin for a long time.

  20. No, old Jo Stalin is my X.

  21. Poland… You’re on notice.

  22. OhioDawg

    Let’s be honest here, every southern football program has a contingent of there fanbase that’s pretty much just like this guy. I’ve lived in Georgia, Florida, and Within eyesight of Kentucky just across the border in Ohio. These people are everywhere.

  23. Normaltown Mike

    I like that he’s rocking the “Live Strong” wristband.

  24. Comin' Down The Track

    Hey, y’all, ease up. Alabama keeps Mississippi away from us.

  25. Dog in Fla

    Wait until the Schutzstaffelers (designer uniforms by Hugo Boss) figure out that a relic (Dolph’s typewriter) from the former Process captured from the The War Eagle’s Nest is nearby in Bessemer just a 21 klick blitzkrieg from the Wynfrey Hoover staging area (Panzer divisions take 31 South to the 459, exit150 northwest for the Final Solution). And best of all, “It’s not froze up,”:

    “When asked to name the museum’s most popular exhibits, Eiland said, ‘The typewriter would be no. 1.’

    He was referring to what is called loosely “Hitler’s typewriter.”

    The German-made Groma brand typewriter came from German dictator Adolph Hitler’s wartime hideaway, The Eagle’s Nest, located near Salzburg, Austria.

    “A veteran from Bessemer acquired it from one of the soldiers who did the inventory of the Eagle’s Nest after the war,” Eiland said. “They considered it a war trophy, I guess.”

    The vintage machine still works. ‘It’s not froze up,’ according to Eiland.”

  26. AthensHomerDawg

    Off topic but that is one good looking building that houses your typewriter. Hard to believe that railroad personnel both designed and built it without an architect. All the materials were local and I can buy that but not the design and engineering.
    If someone would have said it was a Greene and Greene or better yet a FLW building I would have believed it cause it is that good. Interesting.

  27. Bryant Denny

    What can I say?

  28. shane#1

    I sure am glad that I live in Lee County Ga. and not over ‘cross the ‘Hooch with all those rednecks. Think I’ll fire up the old F-150 and grab a case of Miller Lite to celebrate.