If you made a participation trophy into a coaching contract…

… it would look something like this.

$2g to score first, or lead at halftime?  What’s next, a thousand not to have offsides called on the opening kickoff?

I continue to marvel at athletic directors’ gullibility.

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15 Comments

Filed under It's Just Bidness, Randy Edsall Is A Dick

15 responses to “If you made a participation trophy into a coaching contract…

  1. Uglydawg

    We need not wonder why coaches like cupcakes.
    (LOL..that “contract” looked so much like a pop-up ad that I scrolled right past it at first)

    Like

  2. Uglydawg

    “What’s next? A thousand not to have offsides called on the opening kickoff?”
    Thanks for the first LOL of the day!

    Like

    • Doug

      Imagine if that kind of clause had been inserted into Jeremy Pruitt’s contract, though. “C’mon, Phil, I’m a football coach, not a miracle worker.”

      Like

  3. Macallanlover

    Who said sacks were not worth anything? Now putting $2K on each sack or RFL would lead to one aggressive defense by Tucker (well, maybe more than $2K required to be a big incentive.) Looks like the AD let the coach and agent fill in the blanks for the bonus portion, all coachspeak items. To their credit, these are measurable and specific, which are included as requirements of a good bonus/incentive plan….that’s about it.

    Like

  4. Bulldog Joe

    Explains why he’s lost four games by an average of 41 points.

    Like

  5. pantslesspatdye

    It’s like a pinball machine, but with green money.

    Like

  6. Pcpup

    A $10K bonus for only giving up 30 points per game. Talk about a low bar.

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  7. AusDawg85

    With those incentives, I’d go for it on 4th every time and save practice time by eliminating the victory formation. Just score baby!

    Like

  8. The Dawg abides

    UCONN has proved to be a huge failure as an FBS program. A textbook example of a basketball school chasing football money. They were furious when they weren’t included in ACC expansion with the other Big East schools. Can’t blame them for wanting a seat at the big boy table, but they should throw in the towel and go back to the Big East now that it’s a strong BB league and drop down in football like Idaho did.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. W Cobb Dawg

    Now coaches can get their contracts off the menu, a la carte, or from the buffet?

    Like

  10. MDDawg

    Kirby’s max bonus this year is less than the bonuses he received last year. I guess that’s because he got more money guaranteed?

    I’m surprised to see how close Mullen’s salary is to Kirby’s.

    Like

  11. Erk's Forehead

    Pruitt needs a participation trophy

    Liked by 1 person