From its “The SEC schedule-makers never seem to give the Gators any sort of a break…” through its breezy assertion that best offensive player Jeff Driskel “is actually a lot better than you think…“ to how injuries totally explain a 4-8 season (so why did Boom can most of his offensive staff, then?), Pete Fiutak’s Florida preview is a textbook example of its kind.
Actually, that sells it short. Here’s what elevates it to masterpiece status.
And it’s not like there were any truly cheap losses, and – don’t scoff – that sort of includes Georgia Southern.
Get The Picture 
New Florida football PR director Baghdad Bob says the rest of the SEC is running scared from the mighty Gators
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Senator, I proudly admit that since Jeremy Pruitt was hired. I have been drinking large amounts of the Red and Black kool aid and have no plans to stop i realize one drunk cannot call another drunk a drunk. But this guy here fell in the Vat of gator moonshine. He is a Drunk.
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PS instead of climbing out he started doing the backstroke.
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It wouldn’t be Gator moonshine – it would be Zima
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Pete insults his reading audience as if we know nothing about FU, it’s players and Coach. His “…if the offense takes advantage of absolutely every opportunity to score.” Duuuhh. Every team would be champs if they could do that. He says that the week off for the Dawgs is a good move, but gives LSU and SC short shrift and says they are more likely to lose to Bama. Why didn’t they take their week off before Bama? He does mention early that UGA shares the “players lost” theme , but goes on to act as if their loss to an injury-plagued UGA team can all be blamed on FU’s personnel losses counting more than ours.
What an insulting, wishful-thinking pisser of an analyst he is. His pece should be entitled “Whistling through the graveyard.”.
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In his columns, Fiutak encourages his readers to adoringly refer to him as “Fiu,” which sounds like what you say when you detect you’ve driven by a skunk-infested section of the highway. He’s a longtime Gator follower and either tries or just fails to cover it up. Too many like him on these Nets, unfortunately.
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Wow this guy could make Georgia Tech sound like world beaters. There was not one area of the Gators team that he did not praise so guess everyone else is playing for second place! Not saying much for his fair appraisal of the Gators upcoming season right?
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If you do your pick, make the obvious choices and get it right, no one will notice. If you get it wrong, some might notice.
If you do you picks, make the ridiculous choices and get it right, you’re famous. If you get it wrong, no one will notice.
Little to risk and lots to gain.
But I douby FU or whatever he wants to be called, is thinking this deeply about it. He’s just a silly homer doing what silly homers do.
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FWIW, Pete is a Minnesota native and Wisconsin alum. So he may be silly, but he’s not a UF homer.
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…which is also where most UF fans are from.
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UF’s fan base is in De Nile
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I see the Gators losing to the following: Bama, LUS, Free Seafood U, the cocks, and the Dawgs. Mizzo is not easy but at home and the Vols they should beat even though away after a bye week. That will get Agent M fired. Hopefully I am wrong, and FLA upsets FSU at the end to save his job and we get to shoot for 5 in a row in 2015.
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I agree with your analysis except I think Mizzou will beat FU. IMHO FU will have to beat UT to get into a bowl and that game, in Knoxvegas, will be hard for the Gayturds to win. Agent Muschump has done his job and deserves to be relocated.
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Some great stuff in there:
“The Georgia Southern game? Late in a lost year against a devastatingly-quirky running game?” Sounds a lot like our game against GT except UF was still in the hunt for bowl eligibility, right?
He then describes the UF offense as “mediocre–but effective–in 2012,” but later describes the UF offense in a contradictory manner: “Coming up with points has been like pulling teeth over the last few seasons.” So effective.
The love for Driskel is unreal. Did he watch any UF games? If not, he should just go through Driskel’s game logs. Only 1 or 2 conference games throughout his entire career really move the needle. That’s not to discount the assertion that he’s the best player on UF’s offense – but that’s more of an indictment of that offense than a compliment to Driskel.
Still, my two favorite parts of the preview:
(1) So much talk about the promise of this season and how important the UF offense will be. A few thousand words of a preview. Was there was an extensive discussion of the new OC, the new offense, how the players fit, what to expect, etc…right? Nah, Kurt Roper was only mentioned once.
(2) But the absolute best: “The offensive line has the potential to be a major plus with veteran starters across the front… ” HAHAHA. The UF linemen blocking each other last year just screamed potential. Not to criticize our own OL, but all the experience they came into 2013 with did not amount to a hill of beans. You can’t polish a turd.
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