Category Archives: Auburn’s Cast of Thousands


Everybody is special at Second Chance U.  And they know it.

Williams, whom each employee said appeared intoxicated, verbally harassed security guards and attempted to get the friend back into the bar by using his local celebrity status, only to be thrown out himself.

Why play the “don’t you know who I am?” card?  ‘Cause it works, bitches.

The bar’s owners allowed Williams to return, but he later threw a drink at a female patron, according to one witness.

Get a second chance from your head coach to start, get a second chance to go back into the bar to make an ass of yourself.  You have to admit there’s a certain amount of consistency at work there.


Filed under Auburn's Cast of Thousands

Running out of chances at Second Chance U

The Duke has been escorted off the Gus Bus.

Auburn has dismissed receiver Duke Williams, coach Gus Malzahn announced Monday night.

“When individuals fail to meet the expectations of our program, there has to be consequences,” Malzahn said. “I gave D’haquille the chance to prove himself. I am disappointed that it did not work out.”

Word has it that this go ’round, Williams was involved in an incident at a nightclub.  You gotta love this assessment:

The senior already was on a zero-tolerance policy with coach Gus Malzahn after drawing a suspension late last season, which kept Williams out of the Outback Bowl, and a second suspension in early August following a preseason practice session.

Zero tolerance!

That would explain Williams’ struggle to regain his starting role after his August suspen… oh, wait.

This is your classic “we can suck just as much without you” move.  It might have helped the Dukester’s survival odds if he had more to show for Malzahn’s blind eye turning than a paltry 12 catches for 146 yards.  Not too surprisingly, it turns out there isn’t much of a need on the Plains for a mediocre pain in the ass.


Filed under Auburn's Cast of Thousands

Gettin’ off the Gus Bus

Damn, the media turn on Auburn has been so sudden and so extreme, I feel like I’m getting a case of whiplash.


Filed under Auburn's Cast of Thousands, Media Punditry/Foibles

Agent Muschamp just got a little dumber.

It’s getting buttah and buttah on the Plains, as Gus announces that stud defensive end Carl Lawson will miss “an extended period of time” because of a hip injury.

Somewhere out there, Ellis Johnson is nodding and smiling.


Filed under Auburn's Cast of Thousands

What are we supposed to do with those “Jeremy Johnson for Heisman” t-shirts now?

Johnson’s moved to the back of the Gus Bus and replaced by a redshirt freshman for this Saturday’s game against Mississippi State.


Filed under Auburn's Cast of Thousands

ESPN haz a sad.

Hey, who’s this “we” you speak of, anyway?


Filed under Auburn's Cast of Thousands, ESPN Is The Devil

There’s nothing like a big loss to bring out the best in people.

Okay, so Saturday wasn’t a good day in Alabama.  How do I know?

Well, they’re writing open letters to Junior.

Kirk Herbstreit, of all people, gets in a Twitter bitch slap fest with The Blind Side’s Leigh Anne Tuohy.

Auburn?  Well, there’s…“Tammy is next.”

One can only imagine what’s in store if ‘Bama actually loses in Athens in two weeks.


Filed under Auburn's Cast of Thousands, PAWWWLLL!!!, Whoa oh Alabama