Category Archives: Auburn’s Cast of Thousands

They can’t help themselves.

The least surprising thing about Hugh Freeze’s new Auburn contract?  This, easily.

While the full contract has yet to be made public by Auburn, Freeze’s deal also includes a considerable buyout should he be terminated without cause prior to the end of the contract. In the event that happens, Freeze would be owed 75 percent of the remaining money on his contract, the official confirmed.

It’s Auburn.  That’s how Auburn rolls.  Hell, for all I know, Sexton offered a 50 percent buyout and Auburn insisted on the higher percentage.

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Filed under Auburn's Cast of Thousands, Freeze!, It's Just Bidness

If at first you don’t succeed, spend, spend again.

Via Erik Evans (!), this is one helluva data point.

Auburn has now paid more money in buyouts to football coaches than Nick Saban has earned at the University of Alabama.

On the Plains, ROI is just a myth.

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Filed under Auburn's Cast of Thousands, General Idiocy, It's Just Bidness

Outsourcing, Auburn style

You sort of have to admire the efficiency of this:

Although, they could just go all in and name Sexton an assistant AD for football matters and be done with it.

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Filed under Auburn's Cast of Thousands, Jimmy Sexton is the Nick Saban of agents and is Nick Saban's agent

Praise the Lord!

Man, the SEC recruiting trail is gonna be something over the next few years, ain’t it?

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Filed under Auburn's Cast of Thousands

Auburn: the next hire

Now that Cadillac’s in the fold, I have a suggestion for the next addition to Freeze’s staff.  This guy:

He’s perfect.  I mean, consider this:

  • From a recruiting perspective, Pruitt would fit seamlessly into the culture Freeze will establish at Auburn.
  • He’s a Saban guy.  Barners will lap that shit up.
  • You already know how he looks in orange.
  • Best of all, you don’t have to worry about a pesky show cause order if you hire the guy before the NCAA slaps a show cause order on him.

They can probably get him pretty cheaply, too.  Like I said, perfect.

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Filed under Auburn's Cast of Thousands

Freak control

This seems totally normal.

Multiple sources say Freeze has agreed to relinquish control of his social media accounts when he becomes the Auburn coach. The background check on Freeze was extensive, and the school hired a P.R. consultant to handle the expected blowback in bringing him aboard. They are jumping through a lot of hoops for Freeze.

As one source with Auburn ties said Sunday, “If he’s contractually obligated to stay off social media and they had to hire an ‘Oh S—’ firm before he even started, is hiring him really a good idea?”

Auburn knows whom they’re getting into bed with.  (And, yes, that analogy seems entirely appropriate here.)  Freeze’s coaching resume ain’t bad, but it’s not on the level, say, of an Urban Meyer, who, while also a man with serious character flaws, at least has a few championship rings to flash.

Can’t wait to see the job that P.R. consultant does.

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Filed under Auburn's Cast of Thousands, Freeze!

When “due diligence” doesn’t mean what you think it means

Auburn, please.

Although he’s been courted for bigger jobs in the recent past—even at Auburn in 2020—Freeze’s off-the-field issues at Ole Miss kept many programs from hiring him. While in Oxford, Miss., Freeze presided over a program sanctioned for NCAA rule-breaking and embarrassed over an extramarital scandal that emerged in the summer of ’17.

In fact, the issues delayed his hiring at Auburn, multiple sources told SI. Though he emerged as the Tigers’ primary target Friday after weeks of negotiations with the school, Auburn did not officially hire him until Monday, as the university conducted a deep background check.  [Emphasis added.]

What, the published media reports didn’t give you enough of a clue?

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Filed under Auburn's Cast of Thousands, It's All Just Made Up And Flagellant

The football gods still love me.

Those idiots on the Plains just can’t help themselves.

They’re buying him because he notched two wins over Nick Saban.  (One less than Malzahn, by the way.)  His recruiting advantage then — paying players when that was against the rules — has vanished in the NIL era.  His overall record in the SEC in his five years with Ole Miss was 19-18, with winning records in 2014 (5-3) and in 2015 (6-2) and 8-11 overall in conference action in the others.

It’s quite the consolation prize for not getting Junior, that’s for sure.  Not that I’m complaining.

What’s the over/under on the number of times Auburn folks will reassure themselves that it’s worth it?

**********************************************************************

UPDATE:

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Filed under Auburn's Cast of Thousands, Freeze!

Meanwhile, on the Plains

Résumé polishing ain’t what it used to be.

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Filed under Auburn's Cast of Thousands

Of course they are.

The most Auburn thing Auburn could do isn’t to hire Junior as its next head football coach.

It’s this.

Really, it’s a match made in heaven, so to speak.

Blogging manna.  Make it happen, football gods.

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Filed under Auburn's Cast of Thousands, Freeze!