Mark Richt hasn’t lost control over Mike Bobo.

Dude’s gonna run the damned ball, thank you very much.

Artifact. Dinosaur. Relic.

Those terms are a bit strong when describing Mike Bobo, but Auburn’s new offensive coordinator and the former Georgia quarterback does steadfastly savor the old-school elements in his play-calling responsibilities.

“Somebody told me once that you’ve got to let them know you’re at the ballpark,” Bobo said. “Sometimes there is not a better way to do that than to get under center and run power, and that’s what we want to be. We want to have a physical run game, and I think you can be a lot more physical sometimes when you’re under center.”

Of course, if you had Bo Nix and a receiving corps having to move on from the losses of Anthony Schwartz, Eli Stove and Seth Williams, you’d probably run the damned ball, too.  But maybe not with as much nostalgia.

Bobo was effective calling the two-minute offense in Athens with the likes of Matthew Stafford and Aaron Murray at quarterback, and his love of power football was understandable with a stretch of running backs that included Knowshon Moreno, Todd Gurley and Nick Chubb, who rushed for 1,547 yards as a freshman during Bobo’s final season in 2014.

Call it Manball on the Plains.  Gary Danielson’s probably gonna have an enormous woody the first time he calls an Auburn game this season.

Not the history you were expecting

Shot.

A history of developing talent. #WarEagle pic.twitter.com/9hzXdBU06Z

— Auburn Football (@AuburnFootball) May 3, 2021

Chaser.

Fun fact: the Georgia teams featuring the players in this graphic were 9-3 vs. Auburn and never lost to Auburn in Athens. https://t.co/cO6qBNr0mz

— dawgsonline (@dawgsonline) May 4, 2021

War Dawgs!

So much for the quarterback whisperer

I don’t know about you, but if this comes true, I’m gonna laugh my ass off at those Auburn fans who kept insisting Gus Malzahn was grooming the next Heisman Trophy winner every damned year:

This year it was Zach Wilson. Last year it was Joe Burrow who rocketed up from off the draft radar to go Top 5. Next year’s breakout QB? Meet Liberty’s Malik Willis. He’s got some jaw-dropping skills: https://t.co/9UAprGnnYw

— Bruce Feldman (@BruceFeldmanCFB) May 2, 2021

“Welcome to the SEC, Bryan Harsin.”

Don’t worry, Auburn fans.  In just a few, short months on the job, he’s already cracked the code ($$)!

… Everyone dresses the same in the weight room, Harsin says, not because he seeks uniformity but because he wants the players to make a conscious decision about coming together as a team. They wear the same uniforms for games; they should do the same as they prepare for games. “It really is defining everything,” Harsin said.

Who knew that’s all it takes?

PAWWWLLL!!!, a master at work

There’s amateur trolling, and then there’s Finebaum, a pro’s pro.

“I don’t want to say anything blasphemous a week and a day after Easter Sunday, but Alabama-Auburn is no longer really the driving rivalry, I think, in the Southeastern Conference,” Finebaum said on the show. “Because everyone understands the reality of it. Nick Saban is going to win, maybe 92.3% of the games or whatever.”

If that’s your rivalry barometer, then Georgia-Florida stopped being a rivalry around 2000.  But I digress.

Finebaum added that his show provides him a good barometer of how heated a rivalry can currently be based on his callers’ reactions.

“I don’t want to speak for you because you live there and I don’t anymore but, on my program, which you know, is a more of an SEC-centric show — if I want to just drop some blood into the water and see sharks circling, it’s about Georgia or Florida. And it’s vicious,” Finebaum added.

“They love nothing more than to remind Georgia fans they haven’t won a national championship in 40 years. It doesn’t matter what Kirby Smart has done, so yeah, I think this is a continuum of the SEC’s current-day great rivalry. And it is vicious.”

If reminding Georgia fans they haven’t won a national championship in 40 years is his definition of a heated rivalry, then we’ve got a heated rivalry with just about every fan base in the SEC, plus Georgia Tech, because that tired line is trotted out by plenty of folks other than Gators on a daily basis.

But that’s not whom Finebaum is really targeting with that, anyway.

The ESPN host went a step further and got in a dig at Auburn’s place in the Iron Bowl rivalry and its former coach.

“Even the most ardent Auburn fan has almost just waved the white flag when it comes to (Nick) Saban now,” he concluded. “Yeah, you know (Gus) Malzahn won three times, which is extraordinary, still got him fired, didn’t he?”

Glad we could be of service, Paul.  By the way, if you’re looking for intense SEC rivalries, you might want to check out Ole Miss – Mississippi State.  Talk about vicious…

The manball torch has been passed?

I hope that somebody loves you the way Mike Bobo loves him some fullback.

Auburn OC Mike Bobo: "Sometimes, you gotta let them know you're at the ballpark, and the best way you can do that is get under center and run power."

— Justin Ferguson (@JFergusonAU) March 22, 2021

Shades of Smart-esque “impose your will”.

Of all the college towns in all the world…

Auburn offensive coordinator Mike Bobo: "I think this is the ultimate college town when you think of Auburn University"

— Jordan D. Hill (@JordanDavisHill) March 22, 2021

… Auburn, Alabama is certainly one of them.

“Toto, we’re not on the Gus Bus anymore.”

Culture shock on the Plains:

Auburn OC Mike Bobo: "I don't know if (Bo) Nix has taken 10 under-center snaps in his career, but — knock on wood — he's been the best at it so far. We're not gonna be primarily under center, and we're not gonna be primarily out of the gun. We're gonna be a mixture of both."

— Justin Ferguson (@JFergusonAU) March 22, 2021

It’s gonna be a real trip to watch, Bo.

They’re gonna crucify me.

Oh, FFS.

posted without absolutely no further comment, Auburn QB Bo Nix on criticism: pic.twitter.com/n5eBcYKQpp

— Justin Ferguson (@JFergusonAU) March 17, 2021

On the Plains, stupid is as stupid does.

If you were wondering what kind of financial inducement Auburn would have to offer Gus Malzahn’s replacement — after all, it’s not every day a school punts a coach who’s beaten Saban a few times and gone to a national title game — to entice him to come to the Plains, well, here you go:

New Auburn football coach Bryan Harsin has signed a six-year contract with the school that will pay him an average of $5.25 million, according to documents released Monday…

If Auburn fires Harsin without cause, it will owe the coach 70% of his remaining salary through the contract term, half of which will be paid within 30 days of termination. The remaining 50% would be paid out over four years, and Harsin’s guarantee is not subject to offset or mitigation. Auburn had a similarly structured agreement with Harsin’s predecessor, Gus Malzahn, who was fired in December.

Harsin made $1.85 million in his last season at Boise State and reportedly was looking to move on to a place with greater financial resources.  He must think he died and went to heaven with this deal.  And, although I don’t believe Jimmy Sexton represents Harsin, he probably feels the same way, too.

Boy, it sure is a good thing schools have grasped some degree of financial sanity in the wake of the pandemic.