You know, when life throws you a fastball down the middle, you’ve got to turn on the sucker. So, I think you guys need to answer a question Butch Jones has this morning:
His sales pitch to the 2014 kids? “I think there are a number of things but my main thing is: Why not Tennessee?”
Please – be brutally honest.
Get The Picture 
Why not Tennessee? I got an offer from Vanderbilt.
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Because I still have all of my teeth and wouldn’t fit in.
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Why not Tennessee? Because teeth are optional.
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“Maybe.You guys still on that whole ‘shower everyday’ thing?”
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Why not Tennessee? I hear Lulu is back on the market.
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Why not Tennessee? I got an offer from ITT Technical School.
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“Because I also have been offered by Southwestern New Mexico State Junior College”
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Why not Tennessee? Why not jump off a bridge?
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Because gonorrhea is a bitch.
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Because I wish they all could beat California.
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Yo yo yo yo yo yo. Trojans.
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Well why not, Tennessee???
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Because opportunity is nowhere
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Because here, we don’t talk about getting back to the Peach Bowl. Wait…
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Because of this…
http://www.opiniononsports.com/2011/10/tennessee-nike-pro-combat-uniforms.html
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I don’t care who you are, that’s funny right there.
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dang funny.
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What other college lets you throw beer bottles as you please?
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Because here, they’re always willing to give you an 11th chance.
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There is neither enough time nor bandwidth to list all of the reasons.
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Like the man said, nothing sucks like a big orange.
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Why Tennesee?!? Where else will you find Stomp-A-Cop Tuesdays at the local bars?!?
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Why not Tennessee? If you’re from out of state with a room temperature IQ, when you get here, it will raise the average IQ of your old state AND Tennessee!
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why not a kick in the nuts?
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Why not Tennessee? Because Nashville Auto & Diesel is kick ass!
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Because buttchugging.
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Proper shower ettiquette is enough for me.
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No hose left behind
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Why do they keep scrubbing the hose scene in the Shindler’s List of science fiction? It serves a legacy to SOD’s hygiene program, which history may regard as his greatest achievement except for his buy-out
http://www.denofgeek.com/movies/battlefield-earth/22556/10-remarkable-things-about-battlefield-earth
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Because where I come from people that wear orange are picking up litter on the side of the road
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Why not Tennessee? Because they needed a bigger Butch.
http://gamedayr.com/gamedayr/fox-fails-in-epic-fashion-claims-tennessee-has-hired-butch-davis-photo/
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Because I don’t drink with my butt hole.
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Are you a married woman? Or is it that you just don’t drink with your significant other?
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Because my hostess has filed a paternity suit!
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This Bama student makes a pretty good argument:
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This was seen as an improvement over the first attempt to develop a recruiting pitch:
Tennessee? Not!
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nowhere
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