Nick Saban and Our Founding Fathers

‘Murica, bitchez!

Never mind that what got Newton and Marshall in trouble had nothing to do with sexual assault.

And anyway, you can’t hold a whole conference responsible for the behavior of a few, sick twisted individuals. For if you do, then shouldn’t we blame the whole college athletics system? And if the whole college athletics system is guilty, then isn’t this an indictment of our educational institutions in general? I put it to you – isn’t this an indictment of our entire American society? Well, you can do whatever you want to us, but we’re not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America. Gentlemen!

I feel better now.

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48 Comments

Filed under Crime and Punishment, Nick Saban Rules

48 responses to “Nick Saban and Our Founding Fathers

  1. I Wanna Red Cup

    Damn, are them germans about to bomb pearl harbor again?

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  2. AusDawg85

    Glad to see you wont quit even after the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor.

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  3. everyone hum the Star Spangled Banner ,get up and walk out….but as a point of order I believe the Senator is commingling characters.

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  4. Castleberry

    Odd that he didn’t use Jonathan Taylor as an example, too.

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    • dawgtired

      LOL! He wanted to avoid the real issue that got this started and picked a couple of thieves to use as examples over his woman-beater.

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  5. No One Knows You're a Dawg

    I thought you were pre-med!

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  6. 69Dawg

    Otter, my boyhood hero and a great American.

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  7. The continued quote:

    After all, public safety and self-respect and valuing anything except winning football games isn’t what this country was founded upon. If I need a dozen rapists to win a crystal trophy, then that’s what it takes. Who said winning was easy? So a few co-eds get beaten and raped. Big deal right? I mean they got to see really good football games, right? If you had the choice of watching Idaho state play weber while not being assaulted OR watching Alabama vs. Auburn while also being beaten and raped, it’s an easy choice right? I mean there’s zero gap responsibility from Weber. Being forced to watch that is worse than any rape in my book. Let’s just make sure our priorities are in order is what I’m saying aiight?

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  8. Spike

    I’ll bet the people they stole their belongings from would like a word with Saban.

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  9. Dawg Vegas

    Can teams that take players like Cam and Nick be on Double-Secret Probation?

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  10. DawgPhan

    Alabama just announced that Jim Bob Duggar will be the head of the sexual misconduct board.

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  11. heyberto

    Top 10 ever GTP post, right here.

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  12. DawgFaithful

    Lol! The Otter Defense

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  13. Mary Kate Danaher

    The time has come for someone to put his foot down. And that foot is Nick Saban.

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  14. Mr. Saban, this country was founded on Judeo – Christian ethics and English common law. That is, if you give a shit. I think Derek above had it about right in regards to Mr. Saban’s ethics.

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  15. HirsuiteDawg

    Would Bama or AU turn down a good player for ANY reason?

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  16. I Wanna Red Cup

    Saban wants his boys to dance wit yo date.

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  17. BMan

    Come on in. Wanna laptop? Don’t cost nothin’.

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  18. South FL Dawg

    Nick should remember that when players break HIS rules.

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  19. “No more fun of any kind! ” D̶e̶a̶n̶ ̶W̶o̶r̶m̶e̶r̶ Jimmy Williamson

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  20. Austin

    They took the bar!

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  21. mwo

    Carmine, you can take your thumb out of my ass any time now!

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  22. Saban has moved from social crusader (give the kids a second chance!!) to the proud defender of the American justice system (innocent before proven guilty!!). It must be difficult stretching from one high horse to the other with those short legs.

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  23. Beakerdawg

    Ramming speed…….

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  24. Beakerdawg

    Nick, honey, is it supposed to be this soft….

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  25. Spike

    Otis!! My Man…

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  26. mwo

    Malzahn and Bielema- a wimp and a blimp!

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  27. Cojones

    Yall leave Nick alone! I have to work like hell to write that cheesy, but it just rolls off his lips! And he ain’t even tryin’ to be funny!

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  28. Cojones

    OK, Nick, we’ll make it plainer to you. After you vet the player and read the police report, you may then ask the Chief(s) why he was arrested and if you don’t agree with law enforcement people in another state, you had better cover your body well when going in and out of the tunnel at Sanford Stadium in Oct. That tobacco juice you are wiping off your jacket just came from your out-of-state escort – and his buddies. Campus Police and the APD don’t want to miss it when your bus(or plane) is broken into and equipment missing plus a poop present on every other seat. They will send you surveillance video of the incident and let you get back with them to see if anyone is to be arrested by your standards.

    Did you know that you just painted a target on your ass with every parent out there and that discerning mothers of recruits may want to know who you allow to play football with their sons?

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  29. CannonDawg

    Nick’s angling for a major motion picture to be made chronicling his life. Word is that Bradley Cooper turned it down but Danny DeVito is lobbying hard for the part. George Stephanopolous said he’d donate to Saban’s foundation if he could land the part, but at 5’7″ he may be too tall.

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  30. Athens Dog

    Fawn Liebowitz………….

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  31. 3rdandGrantham

    Good lord. Talk about someone taking their profession just a bit too seriously. What those comments show me is someone who has such an utterly absurd ego that his overall self-awareness long ago flew out the window. Of course, we all knew that Saban’s ego was off the charts, but I didn’t think it was quite this bad.

    In total fairness, if I were making a cool 7 mil yearly while having an entire state wrapped around my finger (albeit the state in question being Alabama), I’d probably be a bit warped too. But hopefully not anywhere near to the degree he his.

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    • Mayor

      You mean, you’re not making a cool 7 million a year? Everybody else on this blog is! Especially the Senator. Hits, baby. It’s all about those hits. 🙂

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      • 3rdandGrantham

        Not quite…but then again I don’t run a popular blog and/or am not an SEC football coach either. We make just enough to drive Volvos and occasionally shop at Whole Foods. Oh yea, that Amazon Prime account is a nice perk too.

        …Now if we can just pull the trigger on going back to cable from Roku streaming….

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        • Cojones

          My safety car is a muscle car with a full roll bar. It makes me comfortable when visiting redneck neighborhoods and they all wave at me.

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