“America needs Nebraska to win.”

A United States Congressman actually wrote this crap.

It is about respect for the Cornhuskers and their culture of excellence. It’s about our big, corn-fed linemen, our hard-nosed backs and our tradition of receivers who actually block. We help give America a sense that guts and determination, tradition and honor, still matter.

The only thing I needed from Nebraska was the Oklahoma rivalry and that was tossed aside for a bigger paycheck.  Some culture you got there, big guy.

May it please the Court.

This was emailed to me last night and I had to share it with you guys.

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It’s a motion filed in State Court for a continuance so the attorney who filed it can attend the Rose Bowl.  (He filed it because the case is on the trial calendar for January 2nd.)  Read the whole thing; you’ll get a chuckle.

I just hope for his sake the trial judge isn’t a Georgia Tech fan.

“… and no Georgia Tech season is complete without the head coach griping about his defense.”

Shorter Mark Bradley:  Paul Johnson cannot fail; he can only be failed by his defensive coordinators.

7th place? That’s it?

I am so disappointed to learn that Nick Saban wasn’t the difference in the Alabama US Senate election.

Where’s your school spirit, Alabamians?

If you have to ask, you don’t want to know.

For some reason, Bert doesn’t want folks to know what this kind of year is worth when you get fired:

Bret Bielema’s time as Arkansas’ coach came to an end after a 4-8 season, including a 1-7 mark in SEC play and a 3-4 record in home games. The Razorbacks lost a school-record five games by more than 20 points.

It sounds like things are still unresolved (“As of Wednesday, Bielema and the Razorback Foundation continued to negotiate a release agreement that would finalize several unresolved issues, including his buyout amount, officials said.”), so maybe this is simply the case where everyone involved is afraid of the public outcry before a final deal is negotiated.

Or maybe the arrangement is so complicated, nobody can figure out what the hell is going on.

Bielema’s deal with the foundation, called a “personal services and guaranty agreement,” was referred to in the section of his university employment contract that explained what the athletic program would owe him if it fired him.

His amended employment contract with the university includes a chart listing buyout amounts, which appears alongside language saying the chart’s numbers are only part of a formula to determine the actual severance pay. It also says the buyout is dependent upon his Razorback Foundation agreement and any amendments to it.

The agreement set Bielema’s buyout at more than $11 million, according to a source close to the program. The Arkansas Democrat-Gazette in October reported the buyout as $5.9 million, based on a legal analysis of Bielema’s contract with the university.

UA is one of six public universities under the University of Arkansas System umbrella. The UA campus, the system’s largest, is in Fayetteville, while the system’s administrative offices are in Little Rock.

The system also includes an Office of General Counsel, led by a head attorney in Little Rock. The office has other associate general counsels who are spread out among the system’s campuses.

The Democrat-Gazette on Dec. 6 filed an open-records request with the university seeking the agreement, but the document was found within the system’s records, Rushing said. A UA System spokesman said Wednesday night that the record was found in the Office of General Counsel.

The Arkansas Democrat-Gazette previously requested “controlling documents related to a buyout” from the university and the Razorback Foundation on Oct. 13 and from the system on Oct. 19. The foundation ignored the request, and the university and the system did not provide it.

Asked why UA did not have a copy of the document if it is considered a personnel record, Rushing said an employee’s right to an attorney general review includes “other records pertaining to personnel,” not just records in someone’s personnel file.

What is it about treating coaches’ contracts like they’re state secrets, anyway?

(h/t)